Draft:Antoine Colbert

Antoine Valentin Ernesto Colbert (February 29, 1971) is a Spanish-French philosopher, journalist, political consultant and filmaker. He is known for his eccentric journalistic style and idiosyncratic philosophical essays.

Biography
Colbert was born to a French father and a Spanish Mother, and grew up in the town of Sanary-sur-Mer. During his teenage years, he grew a reputation in his hometown and high school for his notorious kleptomania.

After high school, he moved to Aurillac to study boilermaking. During that time, he lived in a campervan, which he allegedly traded for a hunting rifle while hitchhiking from Sanary-sur-Mer. After two years, he left Aurillac, as he found his education to not be sufficiently intellectually stimulating.

In 1990, he moved to Paris, to study sociology at the Sorbonne. It is still uncertain whether he was actually enrolled or he simply showed up to classes. In less than a school year, he was officially banned from the university for repeatedly playing golf from the rooftop of the school premises.

During his time at the Sorbonne, he met Henry Duke, a wealthy American who would later encourage Colbert to come study with him at the College of Western Idaho. Both young men met at the back of La Petite Périgourdine, a bistrot in Paris' 5th arrondissement, where Duke spotted Colbert stealing bottles of red wine, an event which would result in a friendship that lasted for decades.

Colbert then attended the College of Western Idaho, along with Duke, where they spent most of their time developing plays with their theater group and hitchhiking across the United States. In 1993, Duke was forced by his parents to enlist in the United States Air Force. Meanwhile, Colbert landed a job as a reporter for the San Juan Daily Star, where he worked for two years. He then spent over four years as an apprentice at the Shaolin Monastery in the Henan Province of China, where he familiarized himself with Shaolin Kung-Fu as well as Eastern philosophy.

After leaving the monastery, he moved to Madrid, where he was hired as a political consultant in the Spanish Socialist Party, which later led him to work as a Paris correspondent for El País, even though he had only known the city for a few months over a decade ago. It was during this period that he developed his emblematic writing style with hundreds of articles, which often diverged from the subjects they were supposed to cover, much at his editor's dissatisfaction. He then grew bored of his job as a correspondent and decided to pursue a career as a philosopher, writing multiple infamous essays, known primarily for their absurd prose an incoherent metaphors.