Draft:Kay(f)bop(t)

Kay(f)bop(t) is an artlang made by Daniel Swanson in 2015. Kay(f)bop(t)'s goal is to incorporate as much impractical features as possible. It managed to get 46 of these features in.

Phonemic Hats
There are also 4 things which are called "phonemic hats".

Grammar
Simple Kay(f)bop(t) words most of the time are really long and it's mainly because of the suffix system. It's like Ithkuil except it needs to be done and more specific and less precise. Nouns have to be conjugated by case, number, edibility, expectation, grammatical gender, awesomeness, manner of death, and market value. Verbs have to be conjugated by number, expectation, day of the week, honesty, mental state, certainty, awesomeness, and subject magnitude relative to that of a breadbox. These are not optional. Every verb must end with 7 suffixes and every noun must end with 9 suffixes.

Vocabulary
Most people might think Kay(f)bop(t) goes for maximum precision, but the vocabulary says otherwise. A Kay(f)bop(t) root can have up to 18 unrelated, distinct meanings. As an example, bes(b)baf(t)let(p)gob(b) can mean terminology, hatter, journalese, unrevenged, grasslike, heal, misty, alphabetization, althea, edict, guzzler, rehash, detain, thalassemia, ergot, epanchement, raceabout, or humilia. That with the suffix system means that interpreting a Kay(f)bop(t) word is like a game of Twenty Questions, down to the "mineral / vegetable / animal" noun classes and the conjugation based on subject magnitude relative to that of a breadbox. Sometimes, like in Twenty Questions, this still not might be enough information in some cases, to the extent that entire chunks of text can mean multiple distinct, equally valid things, with no way to know other than context. There is a 40 minute video where Daniel Swanson reads the what he says to be a translation of the Babel story from the Bible, but because of the ambiguity in Kay(f)bop(t), it's also a translation of Never Gonna Give You Up.