Draft:Kip Eliason

Kip Eliason (December 27, 1965 - March 2, 1982) was a young American suicide victim, who was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His suicide was the result of masturbation shame. After his death, his father, Eugene Eliason, sued the Church in a $26 million dollar lawsuit.

Life
Kip C. Eliason was born on December 27, 1965 to Eugene and Patricia Eliason. His mother died on June 22, 1970, when Kip was just five. Her death might have been a result of suicide. According to his relatives, Kip was an intelligent, kind-hearted, honest, and sensitive young man, who was naturally outgoing but also reflective and quiet.

When he was 11, Kip joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the persuasion of his grandmother. He quickly became devoted to the teachings of the Mormon church and spent hours praying and reading the Standard Works. That same year, Kip began masturbating, which filled him with a very great amount of guilt. He wrote to his father, “My life was downhill all the time. I felt horrible inside, and it showed. I didn't have many friends. I felt too humiliated to see the bishop. I tried a million times to stop on my own. But it was an obsession. A hideous habit that I thought to be totally impossible to quit. I knew Satan had me twisted on his little finger. I thought I would never be able to lose the chains that held me fast.” Kip also kept a remarkably well written journal concerning his life.

By the autumn of 1981, Eliason had become “withdrawn and profoundly depressed”. On December 10, 1981 he made his first suicide attempt. On January 10, 1982 Kip Eliason was ordained into the Aaronic Priesthood. On February 14, 1982 he made another unsuccessful suicide attempt and spent the next eight days at a psychiatric hospital where he was diagnosed as suicidal. On the evening of March 2, 1982 Kip Eliason unfortunately committed suicide by asphyxiation with carbon monoxide. His suicide note reads as follows:

“Dear Dad, ​I love you more than what words can say. If it were possible, I would stay alive for only you, for I really only have you. But it isn’t possible. I must first love myself, and I do not. The strange feeling of darkness and self-hate overpowers all my defenses. I must unfortunately yield to it. This turbulent feeling is only for a few to truly understand. I feel that you do not comprehend the immense feeling of self-hatred I have. This is the only way I feel that I can relieve myself of these feelings now. Carry on with your life and be happy. I love you more than words can say. —Your son, Kip”

Kip was laid to rest at Cloverdale Memorial Park in Boise, Idaho.

Legacy
In October 1983, Eugene Eliason filed a $26 million dollar wrongful-death lawsuit again the LDS Church. The case was likely settled outside of court. The Eliason case generated some publicity for Kip’s tragic story. Most famously, Kip’s father and half-brother appeared in The God Makers documentary, which came under intense scrutiny. Eugene Eliason died in 2000. Some relatives of Kip’s mother have maintained that Eugene was abusive to Kip and did not properly assist his son. Today, Kip’s story is largely publicized by ex-Mormon groups as a cautionary tale.