I don't know her

"I don't know her" is a phrase popularized by American singer Mariah Carey in response to a circa 2003 question about her thoughts on American singer Jennifer Lopez, whom media outlets perceived as her rival at the time. Carey's reaction, in which she shakes her head and smiles while stating "I don't know her", became a popular Internet meme and GIF. Vanity Fair deemed mid-2016 "The Summer of Not Knowing".

When asked about Lopez, Carey identified herself as a singer and denied an ongoing feud. After stating "I don't know her", she employed the expression over the next two decades. Carey contends it is not an affront to Lopez because she does not know her personally; Lopez herself says they do not know each other.

Description
Similar to the conflict instigated by the media regarding her relationship with Whitney Houston, American singer Mariah Carey's feelings toward Jennifer Lopez became a subject of gossip in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Lopez began a working relationship with Carey's former husband, Tommy Mottola, in 1998. The apparent feud escalated in 2001 after a sampling controversy involving Carey's song "Loverboy" (2001) and Lopez's "I'm Real" (2001). Carey responded to Lopez's comments about sleeping eight hours per night in a 2001 interview with journalist Vanessa Grigoriadis: "If I had the luxury of not actually having to sing my own songs I'd do that too." During an appearance on Larry King Live in 2002, Carey remarked: "There are rivalries, but I don't think she has anything to do with me. I mean, my whole thing is singing, writing songs... Her thing is something different".

Around 2003, Carey was interviewed by the German television program taff. Upon being asked about Beyoncé, Carey remarked that she loved her as an artist. After she was questioned about Lopez, Carey stated "I don't know her" while smiling and shaking her head. The interview was uploaded on YouTube in 2008 and her "I don't know her" comment began circulating as a GIF on Internet forums. It spread to Twitter and Tumblr in the latter half of the 2010s. By 2018, "I don't know her" became known as a popular Internet meme and GIF.

Carey used the phrase to address Lopez throughout its rise in popularity. She reprised it during a 2005 MTV interview ("I don't even know her. We kind of just said hello once or twice"), a 2009 radio discussion ("I don't know the woman"), a 2016 TMZ exchange ("I still don't know her"), and a 2018 Watch What Happens Live appearance ("I don't know her. What am I supposed to say?"). While discussing the sampling controversy in her 2020 memoir The Meaning of Mariah Carey, she described Lopez as a "female entertainer on [Sony] (whom I don't know)".

Carey contends that the phrase is not an insult but rather an honest response because she does not know Lopez personally. Lopez had not addressed Carey's comments about her by 2004. In 2014, she said that "I don't have a feud against [Carey] at all. I know from back in the day, I’ve read things that she's said about me that were not the greatest, but we have never met. Like, we don't know each other." During a 2016 Wendy Williams interview, Lopez stated that they have "met many times" and accused Carey of being "forgetful".

Carey has used the phrase toward other singers such as Demi Lovato. After the latter said she was rude to Lopez, Carey responded: "I don't know her either." Others adopted "I don't know her" for their own use. Due to the number of celebrities repeating it at the time, Vanity Fair labeled mid-2016 "The Summer of Not Knowing". Online stan accounts apply the phrase to defend their favorite artists against perceived rivals. It is used within the queer community and inspired "I don't know her"-themed club nights and clothing. The phrase has been referred to in political contexts such as a meme about Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau and commentary regarding US president Donald Trump's denials about knowing other public figures.

Analysis
Most commentators considered the phrase an insult. Who? Weekly podcasters Lindsey Weber and Bobby Finger described "I don't know her" as an example of shade. According to Mireille Lalancette and Tamara A. Small, the phrase "is used when another person is so irrelevant you pretend to not know them when you clearly do". Issy Sampson of The Guardian wrote about its appeal: "Claiming not to know someone means you don't sound bitchy – how could you be, you don't know them? – but it's a sly way of saying that someone's personality is unmemorable." Vogue's Michelle Ruiz viewed the phrase as a more effective version of the catfight. Kenzie Bryant of Vanity Fair said it can be misinterpreted when used as a neutral no comment response.

Abby Ohlheiser ranked it at number two on The Washington Post's 2019 list of the most important viral reactions on the Internet since 2000. According to journalist Marina Hyde, "I don't know her" is Carey's most famous quote. Musicologist Lily E. Hirsch argued that the popular reaction to the phrase contributed a sexist and racist image of Carey as a diva.