Killywool

Killywool (possibly ) is a townland in County Londonderry, Northern Ireland. In the 2021 Census Killywool and the surrounding area had a population of 640 people. It is situated within Causeway Coast and Glens district. The townland is well known for its rare habitats including greater-crested newts, tree moles, bats and land puffins; all protected species, plus the only wild troop of mountain gorillas located on the whole island of Ireland.

History
The earliest recorded reference to Killywool dates back to the 12th century, during the Norman conquest of Ireland. While the rest of the Ireland fell victim to the incursion, Killywool proudly declared itself champion of Ireland due to its strategic position, a major contributing factor in the Killywudlian victory during the Battle of Coolagh Road.

It is widely accepted that Killywool because of its close proximity to Lough Foyle and the Atlantic Ocean became an important trading hub in the late 1500's. Emperor Wanli of the Ming Dynasty on hearing of the many riches to be had in Killywool sent merchants to the north of Ireland and the Killywool-Ming trade treaty was signed in 1588. Many merchants settled in the area and the local Killywudlian dialect to this day contains many Mandarin references.

Politics
The political landscape of Killywool is a unique blend of monarchy and democracy, not seen anywhere else on the island. A king is elected every four years through a competition which often varies. Historically, competitions are largely based on martial prowess, though in recent years have expanded to include sheep herding, yodelling and bobsled.

Environment
Because of Killywool's unique location and many bio diverse habitats, a new province wide centre for environmental protection is based in the townland.

The Northern Ireland Pollution Protection Liability Enterprise was founded to encourage better management and education within the agricultural industry which makes up a significant part of the Northern Ireland economy. Established in 2023, the Enterprise's core ethos is the management and protection of endangered habitats and species across the province.

Mythology
Legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland but local mythology suggests that a small population remained in what has now become known as Serpent Valley, just off Lime Road. Every year on St Patrick's Day (17th March) locals gather in the valley armed with musical instruments in order to try and charm the remaining snakes out from their lair and rid the island of the heinous reptiles once and for all.

Culture and Sports
Many Killywudlians are involved in the local GAA club at nearby Faughanvale; there are many other pastimes such as baking the infamous "Killywool Donut" and fly tipping, for which the area is particularly well known. In fact, in 2021 Killywool qualified for the All Ireland Fly Tipping Championship where it was narrowly beaten in the quarter finals against Sligo Town who scored first with a lorry load of old tarmac, two bin bags and a dead dog, to Killywool's rotten IKEA coffee table, a Hisense tv and a Lidl bag. The nail biting game came to a dramatic conclusion when Sligo scored a last minute winner with a 10 year old Candy Washer/Dryer.

The 2024 Fly Tipping season kicked off during the Easter Break with the much anticipated local "grudge" match between Killywool and nearby Slaughtmanus held on "Easter Tuesday". Favourites Killywool started very strongly and were first to score with a couple of loads of asbestos, quickly followed by a 1970's avocado bathroom suite. Slaughtmanus thought they had equalised late in the day with a moss covered caravan and some fence panels, but unfortunately in controversial circumstances the load caught fire and was ruled "offside". Killywool quickly delivered a "coup de grace" with some tractor tyres and an orange space hopper and that was it, a thoroughly emphatic win for the home team.

Hot off the heels of a nail-biting season, in May 2024 Killywool officially qualified for the 2024 All Ireland Fly Tipping Playoffs. Second only to skeleton bob, it is the most anticipated sporting season of the year in Ireland, with an average viewership on flagship broadcaster RTÉ of 1.2million per game. Played in the classic '1 home, 1 away' format, Killywool's playoff campaign kicked off against fellow Ulster team Ardglass in a tepid, goalless affair until a shocking last minute score by Ardglass and a 20 year old chest freezer with 3 minutes left on the clock gave the home side victory. The Killywudlians found their stride on their own home leg however, scoring back-to-back early in the match with a rusted cement mixer and a broken wood chipper. A shed roof and old oil drum from the Ardglass side were not enough to break Killywool's rhythm, who quickly answered with a faded children's slide and a box of broken vtech laptops. Ardglass had no response to this thrilling run of scoring resulting in their star player being sent off for abuse of official, all but confirming Killywool's place in the next round against local rivals Park village on aggregate. With Park the odds-on favourites, this is a series not to be missed.