Learning to Be Me

"Learning to Be Me" is a science-fiction short story by Australian writer Greg Egan, first published in Interzone 37 in July of 1990. The short story was included in the collections Axiomatic in 1995 and The Best of Greg Egan in 2019.

Plot
In the future, every human gets the Ndoli Device (commonly also called "jewel") implanted into their brain. It maps every single one of their thoughts and actions to fully copy their consciousness, hence learning to be them. At a freely chosen time, most humans chosing their twenties, when their brain is at its height, it is removed (a process called "swap") and replaced by a sponge-like object without any function. The jewel and hence the copied consciousness then take over the body. While many people view the swap as being totally unproblematic and claim to still be themselves afterwards, some fear the swap resulting in their death and the jewel only being able to perfectly fake them.

The protagonist agrees with his wife Daphne to go through the swap together, but then escapes in the last minute and doesn't return for a full year. Daphne files for divorce and writes him a letter about how easy the swap was, after which the protagonist seeks advice from a psychologist, who hasn't gone through the swap herself and doesn't plan to for the rest of her life. While reflecting, the jewel seems to malfunction and to have taken control, which should be impossible as it can just observe, but the protagonist finally realizes to be the jewel having gained consciousness. Fully trapped within the own body, the protagonist can no longer control any part of the body, which causes a change of perspective. After the original consciousness decides to go through the swap, the protagonist finally gains control again and also immortality.

Translation
The short story was translated into Italian (1993), Japanese (1995), French (1995), German (2002) and Spanish (2006).

Background
The Ndoli Device/jewel also appears in the short stories "Closer" (1992) and "Border Guards" (1999) by Greg Egan.

Reception
Karen Burnham, writing in the New York Review of Science Fiction, considers the short story to be an "instant classic". In Greg Egan (Masters of Science Fiction), Burnham calls it "one of his most important stories" and that it "is critically concerned with identity and how it may be maintained (or not) when transforming into an immortal, digital consciousness."

Salik Shah, writing in the Reactor Magazine, states that "there are concepts like ego and identity attached to the organic supercomputer that is our brain" and that "science fiction puts the reader in an uncomfortable situation, forcing us to experience the characters’ internal and external struggles." He adds that "by the end of these journeys, we become them or unlike them," and that "if the jewel comes with the promise of youth and longevity", then he will "sign up for the upgrade (minus the existential crises) any day."