Run for Your Wife (2012 film)

Run for Your Wife is a 2012 British comedy film, based on the 1983 theatre farce Run for Your Wife, written by Ray Cooney who, along with John Luton, also directed the film. The film made its premiere at the Cannes Film Festival on 19 May 2012 before being theatrically released in the United Kingdom on 14 February 2013. Upon release, the film promptly received universally negative reviews from critics and has been referred to as one of the worst films of all time, after it grossed just £602 ($765.38) in its opening weekend.

Plot
The story of London cab driver John Smith, with two wives, two lives, and a very precise schedule for juggling them both. With one wife, Michelle, at home in Stockwell and another, Stephanie, at home in Finsbury.

Trouble brews when Smith intervenes in a mugging. After being hit on the head, he ends up in hospital. This upsets his schedule and causes both wives to report him missing. Smith becomes hopelessly entangled in his attempts with Gary, his doltish ne'er-do-well neighbour downstairs in Stockwell, to explain himself to his wives and two suspicious police officers.

Cast

 * Danny Dyer	– John Smith
 * Neil Morrissey – Gary Gardner
 * Denise van Outen – Michelle Smith
 * Sarah Harding – Stephanie Smith
 * Kellie Shirley – Susie Browning
 * Christopher Biggins – Bobby Franklin
 * Lionel Blair – Cyril
 * Nicholas Le Prevost – D.S. Porterhouse
 * Ben Cartwright – D.S. Troughton
 * Derek Griffiths – Stockwell police officer
 * Nick Wilton – Taxi driver
 * Jeffrey Holland – Dick Holland
 * Louise Michelle – Frances
 * Mike Smithies – Grumpy Oldman
 * Paul Curran – The Liar
 * Mark Foxwell – The Ghost

Cameo roles (alphabetical)

 * Russ Abbot – Hospital patient
 * Robin Askwith – Bus driver
 * Lynda Baron – Nurse
 * Richard Briers – Newspaper seller
 * Tony Britton – Man on bus
 * Jess Conrad – Piano player
 * Tom Conti – Actor
 * Wendy Craig – Nanny
 * Bernard Cribbins – Hospital patient
 * Barry Cryer – Busker
 * Ian Cullen – Wrinkled man
 * Pamela Cundell – War widow
 * Geoffrey Davies – Man in theatre queue
 * Judi Dench – Bag lady
 * Les Dennis – Man on street
 * Noel Edmonds – Man in shop
 * Jean Fergusson – Exercising woman
 * Derek Fowlds – Man in hat
 * William Gaunt – Man on bus
 * Liza Goddard – Exercising woman
 * Rolf Harris – Busker
 * Nicky Henson – Hospital patient
 * Louise Jameson – Doctor's receptionist
 * Vernon Kay – Plate-spinning man
 * Jeff Leach – Thief in shop
 * Maureen Lipman – Exercising woman
 * Katy Manning – Exercising woman
 * Vicki Michelle – Tourist
 * Brian Murphy – Allotment man
 * Derren Nesbitt – Man on bus
 * Geoffrey Palmer – Man on toilet
 * Bill Pertwee – Man on bus
 * Jacki Piper – Nurse
 * Su Pollard – Newsagent
 * Linda Regan – Allotment woman
 * Cliff Richard – Busker
 * Andrew Sachs – Clumsy waiter
 * Prunella Scales – Woman at pub
 * Jenny Seagrove – Taxi passenger
 * Pat Sharp – Man in flat
 * Donald Sinden – Man on bus
 * Sylvia Syms – Hip operation woman
 * Frank Thornton – Man getting off bus
 * Wanda Ventham – Lady on Bus
 * Marcia Warren – Woman on seat
 * Dennis Waterman – Minding person
 * Giles Watling – Man in pub
 * Moray Watson – Man on bus
 * Timothy West – Man in pub
 * June Whitfield – Exercising woman
 * Finty Williams – Woman on bus
 * Simon Williams – Café customer
 * Mark Wingett – Man outside café

Production
Over 80 celebrities agreed to make cameo appearances, having all said they would donate their fees to a theatrical charity. The executive producer was Vicki Michelle.

During filming, Dyer was mistaken by onlookers for an actual taxi driver. According to the end credits, there was a sequel planned, based on Cooney's later play Caught in the Net. However, perhaps owing to this film's disastrous box office returns, the project did not materialise.

Reception
Run for Your Wife had so many overwhelmingly negative reviews upon release that the reviews themselves were widely reported in the UK media. The film was variously described as "a catastrophe", "as funny as leprosy", and "30 years past its sell-by date", with The Guardian reviewer Peter Bradshaw saying that it "makes The Dick Emery Show look edgy and contemporary".

The Independent's Anthony Quinn wrote, "The stage play ran for nine years – it [the film] will be lucky to run for nine days. Perhaps never in the field of light entertainment have so many actors sacrificed so much dignity in the cause of so few jokes... From the look of it, Cooney hasn't been in a cinema for about 30 years." The cameo-heavy cast was commented upon by several reviewers, with the Metro commenting that "no one emerges unscathed among the cameo-packed cast that reads largely like a roll-call for Brit TV legends you'd previously suspected deceased".

The Daily Record described the film as "an exasperating farce containing not one single, solitary laugh. Comprisedof [sic] people losing their trousers and falling over, the film looks like a pilot for a (mercifully) never-commissioned 70s sitcom." An article in the Independent described Run for Your Wife (along with the similarly badly received Movie 43) as contenders for the title of the "worst film in history".

The Berkhamsted & Tring Gazette reported "critics have being queuing up to batter recent release Run for Your Wife, with general agreement that it ranks among the worst British comedies of all time". The South African newspaper Daily News stated that "Run for Your Wife could be the worst film in history", the Studio Briefing website reported that "Some writers are making the case that the British comedy Run for Your Wife, written by and starring [sic] comedian Ray Cooney, may be “the worst film ever"”, and The Daily Mirror reported (a few months after its release) that Run for Your Wife "was branded the worst British film ever".

Run for Your Wife currently has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.