Sambandam

Sambandham was a mode of traditional marriage practiced by Nambudiris, Nairs, Samantha Kshatriyas and Ambalavasis among their own communities as well as with each other, in medieval Kerala, India.

"Sambandham," derived from the Sanskrit words "sama," meaning "equal," and "bandham," meaning "alliance."

Samanthan, Nairs and Ambalavasi
Sambantham is one of the marriage tradition among the traditional matrilineal castes. Members of Samanthan, Nairs and Ambalavasi castes can marry within their own community or from higher Brahmin (Nambudiri caste). This practice is prevalent among the wealthy royal families of Kerala.

Nambuthiri Brahmins
Nambuthiri Brahmins, in particular, follow specific marriage customs. The eldest Nambuthiri Brahmin must marry within his own community, while others can marry from the Kshatriya or equivalent. They are allowed to marry women only from royal families, the highest subcaste of Nair, and Ambalavasi castes. Sometimes, they even engage in sambantham with Paradesi Brahmins. Marrying women from other castes is highly restricted and results in loss of caste.

History
Many regions of Kerala, which are predominantly limited this practice between Nambudiri, samanthan Nair, Samanthan, and Ambalavasi castes. Sambantham was more prevalent in North Kerala, as well as in some parts of Palakkad district among families, who also engage in sambandham with Brahmins.

Sambandham also denoted reciprocal marriage among samanthan Nairs amabalavasis, nambudiris, royal families and this term was not used just to denote hypergamous marriages between the Nambudiris and the samanthan Nairs,amabalavasis, royal families.. Alternate names for the system were used by different social groups and in different regions; they included Pudavamuri, Pudavakoda, Vastradanam, Vitaram Kayaruka, Mangalam and Uzhamporukkuka.

This practice was stopped during the late 1800s, and is no longer observed.

The Malabar Marriage Act, 1896 defined Sambandham as, "An alliance between a man and a woman, by reason of which they, in accordance with the custom of the community to which they belong, or to which either of them belongs, cohabit or intend to cohabit as husband and wife."

The marriage traditions, as seen today are notably different from those of the past. Many Malayali communities lacked proper marriage practices compared to the Sambandham and Nambudhiri Brahmins during that period. women and men enjoyed the highest privileges in society, in north Malabar (especially parts of today's kannur )including the ability to divorce their partners ,but rest of the Kerala they don't have the ability to divorce their partners until the death of the partner, after the death of their partner they cant marry because widow marriage was considered as taboo in upper caste communities.

The Sambandham system had led to many controversies and misconceptions associating with polyandry. Most of the mentions about women(north malabar) having multiple Sambandham partners comes from accounts of foreigners who visited Kerala during the pre-colonial era. However, historians assert that there exists no authenticated case of polyandry among the Sambandham families. The Sambandham (in north Malabar, rest of the Sambandham families of Kerala was not followed this)could be broken at the will of either party and they could move on to have another relationship. This was adopted to suit the military life, so that if the husband dies in a battle, the wife can move on and avoid widowhood. The foreign authors would’ve mistaken both of them as standard marriages in the European sense, hence would have deduced that the Sambandham women had more than one partner. This is not surprising as foreigners never would have gotten a chance to observe Sambandham family rites closely since they always had to maintain distance from the Sambandham practicing families due to rigid social rules which existed back then, and would have been confused about the Sambandham family rites. The extensive Malayalam literature on the subject provides a more nuanced and culturally informed perspective.

It is also to be noted that even though second marriage after divorce is allowed, it was looked down upon and didn’t involve celebrations as the first marriage, as the 1891 Madras census says: “''Sambandham is, strictly speaking, dissoluble at the will of either party without any formal ceremony being gone through for the purpose, but that will is controlled by public opinion which views with disfavour divorces made for trivial reasons. In cases of divorce, the children always go with their mother. Their legal guardian is their uncle, or karanavan (managing member) of the mother’s house. Both widows and divorced women are allowed to remarry, but the second and subsequent marriages of women are not celebrated with even as much formality as the first marriage. The man goes to the woman’s house with friends, and giving her betel-leaves and nut or dresses, takes her to wife''.”