Talk:&Burn/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:01, 19 August 2020 (UTC)

Despite our previous issues, I see you have returned to Wiki partially and I will gladly review this soon. --K. Peake 08:01, 19 August 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
Kyle Peake, I am sorry about that, the source said it was pop but a user keeps changing it. I am going to change it to pop. If they change it again, I am going to admin. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 16:40, 19 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Cover art needs alt text
 * Remove formats from the infobox
 * Remove genre as that comes from a bad source
 * Target Interscope to Interscope Records
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Finneas O'Connell
 * ❌ since this should be under the first mention --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "was released as a single" → "was released for digital download and streaming as a single" with the appropriate targets
 * "via Darkroom and Interscope Records," → "through Darkroom and Interscope Records," with the appropriate wikilink
 * Remove the refs from the lead
 * "included in a December reissue of Don't Smile at Me." → "included on a reissue of Eilish's debut EP Don't Smile at Me in December of that year."
 * "Staples and Eilish's brother, Finneas O'Connell, co-wrote" → "Staples and Finneas O'Connell co-wrote"
 * "handling the production." → "handling production."
 * "A pop track with hip hop influenced instrumentation," → "A hip hop influenced track," with the target
 * "of Eilish's song" → "of Eilish's single"
 * The second para is too short currently; add in a sentence about the lyrics/meaning of the song to start it
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)


 * After this, add a sentence about the critical reception, including noting what was praised
 * ❌ remove "Upon its release," and change "was praised" to "received positive reviews", while target music critics to Music journalism --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)


 * ""&Burn" has been awarded" → "The song has received"
 * "including a platinum by the" → "including being certified gold by the"
 * You should also mentioned the RIAA certification in the lead
 * ❌ since I meant you should mention both of the certifications since it is only two --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

✅

Background and release
✅
 * "made by Eilish with" → "made by Eilish to"
 * Wikilink god
 * "When Eilish and Finneas" → "When Eilish and her brother Finneas O'Connell"
 * "the track title was titled" → "it was under the title of"
 * "two separate songs. One being" → "two separate songs, with one being"
 * Add release year of "Watch" in brackets
 * [4][5][6][7][8] that is too many refs at the end of multiple sentences; you should have four maximum together and try to move these so they are after the information that they provide, since that is the most appropriate way of fixing the jumbling together of the refs
 * The single sentence should start a new para in this section
 * "was released as a standalone single" → "was released as a single"
 * "and streaming through" → "and streaming in various countries, through"
 * Add a ref at the end of this sentence; use the one that is currently only included in the lead
 * "included on the December edition of her" → "included on the December 2019 reissue of Eilish's"
 * Remove target on EP
 * "by American rapper Vince Staples and Finneas O'Connell, Eilish's brother and the track's sole producer." → "by Staples and O'Connell, the latter of which solely produced it."
 * This sentence and the following one should start the second para of the section, coming before the release info
 * "by the studio personnel, John Greenham" → "by studio personnel John Greenham"

Composition and lyrical interpretation

 * "as a hip hop-influenced alternative-trap track." → "as a hip hop-influenced track." with the target
 * ❌ the new prose is fine but hip hop should be targeted as I instructed here --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

Changed to pop. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 16:59, 19 August 2020 (UTC)
 * The alternative-trap genre is being proposed for removal since the source violates WP:SELFPUB
 * "velvety keys. She further mentions" → "velvety keys". She further mentioned that"
 * "a fiery revenge":" → "a fiery revenge"."
 * "Lips meet teeth..." these lyrics are not backed up the Billboard ref and the grammar is not correct in terms of flow and speech marks
 * ❌ why is this kept? --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "Vince Staples provides background vocals" → "Staples provides background vocals on the song"
 * "has been described" → "his appearance has been described"
 * "I try to wait for..." same issue as the previous quotation style of lyrics, with both grammar and OR
 * ❌ since you have only replaced with more unsourced lyrics, why? --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * "David Renshaw of" → "David Renshaw from" plus this sentence should be the second sentence, directly before the Billboard one
 * "strike of a match and continues throughout the song as its main beat." → "strike of a match, which continues throughout as the main beat."

Reception
✅
 * Retitle to Reception and promotion
 * "at number 7 on their" → "at number seven on her"
 * "labeled the track" → "labeled the former"
 * "depicted the track" → "depicted the song"
 * "and saw the song as" → "and saw it as"
 * "explains "the end" → "explained that "the end"
 * "each other’s" → "each other's"
 * "from 'Don’t Smile at Me'"." → "from Don't Smile at Me"."
 * "and "bolder" as" → "and "bolder" than"
 * "but still" → "though commented that it still"
 * "Commercially, "Bitches Broken Hearts" did not enter any official charts. The track has been awarded a platinum certification in" → "Commercially, "&Burn" has been certified gold in"
 * Mention the gold certification by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)
 * As I suggested retitling, the sole sentence of the live performance section should be here since a one sentence section is pointless

Live performance

 * "Eilish performed it" → "Eilish performed it live"

Credits and personnel
✅
 * Credits adapted from the liner notes of Don't Smile at Me. → Credits adapted from the liner notes of the Don't Smile at Me reissue.
 * The artists should be wikilinked
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Charts

 * Year-end charts should not be a sub-section; you can keep as the sole table under charts now per MOS:TABLECAPTION if it has the caption "2019 year-end chart performance for "&Burn""
 * ❌ you did not remove the sub-section or title properly --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

Certifications

 * ARIA certification was actually Gold
 * Canada certification was not for the song
 * Only the sales+streaming dagger should be cited at the bottom of the table
 * ❌ see Template:Certification entry --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, I do not know what you mean by this. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 04:47, 21 August 2020 (UTC) ✅

Release history

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Format → Format(s)
 * Label → Label(s)
 * Target Digital download to Music download
 * Target streaming to Streaming media
 * Target Interscope to Interscope Records
 * ❌ you were supposed to keep it as titled Interscope but just change the target --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

✅

Final comments and verdict
Kyle Peake, thanks for the review all of the issues should be fixed. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 17:31, 19 August 2020 (UTC)
 * as the article is a bit messy but can be fixed, do not feel to ask me about any proposed changes that are confusing though. --K. Peake 10:03, 19 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the short response but some of the changes have not been implemented; should I point these out to you or will you look through again yourself? --K. Peake 20:40, 19 August 2020 (UTC)

user:Kyle Peake please point them out. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 21:56, 19 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I have planked the not done template on places where it is needed. --K. Peake 06:10, 20 August 2020 (UTC)

user:Kyle Peake I have done all, except one. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 04:53, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I have made the certification fix for you and done some copyediting elsewhere, though the lyrics sentence should be in the second para as the opening sentence and you still have not removed "Upon its release". --K. Peake 07:16, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I have fixed it. Anything else that needs to be fixed? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 16:05, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Did a slight amount of copy editing just now, but will gladly ✅ this! --K. Peake 06:30, 22 August 2020 (UTC)