Talk:'03 Bonnie & Clyde/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 17:22, 15 January 2012 (UTC)


 * Outsider comment - I'm copy editing the article and am almost finished. I'll leave an update when I'm done so that you can start reviewing. Thanks. — WP: PENGUIN  · [ TALK ]  17:41, 15 January 2012 (UTC)
 * OKay. Calvin  &bull; Watch  n'  Learn 17:43, 15 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Alright. Calvin and Jivesh, I've done my copy edit. There may be some rough patches that can be addressed during the review. Jivesh, please have a look at my edit summaries and " " before anything. Sourcing and prose clarity may be an issue. Thanks. — WP: PENGUIN   · [ TALK ]  18:15, 15 January 2012 (UTC)
 * I can't see any " " in the article so I assume those points have been addressed?  Calvin  &bull; Watch  n'  Learn 13:33, 16 January 2012 (UTC)
 * They have. But the year-end charts are being added. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:34, 16 January 2012 (UTC)

What's happening here? There hasn't been any activity on this page for over a week and the review appears to be in limbo. —  Andrew s talk  09:04, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Info box

 * Add September 10, 2002 template.
 * Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:44, 16 January 2012 (UTC)


 * Add template.
 * Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:44, 16 January 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" sampled its beat American rapper Tupac Shakur's 1996 song "Me and My Girlfriend" → Read this out loud. It doesn't make sense to read. "sampled its beat American rapper" is what's not working.
 * Oh there is no need to copy me. You could have said it in your own style. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 04:07, 21 January 2012 (UTC)
 * I'm not, I'm just saying. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "It is based on" → Not the correct saying here.
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * ""'03 Bonnie & Clyde" was received generally with favorable reviews by contemporary music critics" → Over complicated. Change to ""'03 Bonnie & Clyde" was generally well received by music critics" and link music critics :P
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "their collaboration" → Isn't this the same as saying "the combination of Jay-Z's and Knowles' musical styles"? Seems a bit unneeded to me.
 * No, read "Beautiful Liar". It might help you understand. Did Rihanna mix her reggae influences or her Barbados accent in "We Found Love"? <-- This might help you understand better. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * Released as a single → Kinda obvious it's a single if you say released.
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)
 * "the song reached number four" → "the song peaked at number four"
 * Your reason? Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Reads better. Reached sounds strained. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * "first one as a solo artist" → Omit "one"
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "and reached genrally the top 20 in other European territories." → "And reached generally"? It either did or it didn't. Omit "generally".
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "It as nominated" → Typo.
 * Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 06:17, 21 January 2012 (UTC)

Production and release

 * "West told MTV News that Jay-Z had asked him on the telephone for a joint for him and Knowles:" → What does joint mean? It sounds like something to do with drugs.
 * Ala We Found Drugs. :P Fixed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 17:13, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * I think you should use because it currently looks like a triple quotation mark. Do this article wide.
 * No, it does note. If it was a triple quote, it would have been like this "''". So, I won't change anything. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 17:13, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "Tensions arose during the conception of "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" over the sampling of "Me and My Girlfriend.[4] Senior Vice President of A&R Tina Davis commented on the issue, "We only had one day to clear the [Tupac Shakur] sample [from 'Me and my Girlfriend'] that was used on 03 Bonnie and Clyde' last year with Jay-Z and Beyoncé [Knowles]. We were back and forth with Afeni Shakur all day until we got the clearance. And then it's a hit."[4]" → You jump straight into this, I was confused in the first sentence over why''.
 * Yo don't have to be confused as it clearly says: "Senior Vice President of A&R Tina Davis commented on the issue". Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 17:13, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "Their relationship was not made public until both artists would collaborate on "Crazy In Love" (2003) and "Déjà Vu" (2006).[1]" → "Their relationship was not made public until Jay-Z featured on Knowles' song's "Crazy In Love" (2003) and "Déjà Vu" (2006).[1]" and link Crazy in Love and Deja Vu.
 * Done. Plus they were already linked. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 17:13, 21 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "The latter's release also marked the debut of the solo career of Knowles, leaving Destiny's Child on hiatus.[2]" → Irrelevant. This is not about DC.
 * Exactly, this is not about DC, she is embarking on a solo career leaving DC behind (on hiatus). Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 17:13, 21 January 2012 (UTC)

Composition

 * "Ethan Brown of New York magazine noted that its patina of flamenco guitar was reminiscent of that in Jay-Z's 2001 collaboration with R. Kelly on "Fiesta."" → Could you try and put a comma somewhere? It's quite long.
 * No, it is not. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 12:42, 29 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "Knowles mimics the hook on the chorus as she sings, "Down to ride to the very end, me and my boyfriend"." → What do you mean? How do we know she mimics if we can't see her?
 * Done. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:33, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "who commended the use of different samples, and commented on the relationship between Jay-Z and Knowles." → Repetitive
 * What exactly is repetitive? Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 12:59, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Commented. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:02, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Read the sentence again. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:10, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * It looked like to "commented"'s to me. Perhaps change commended to praised. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:11, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Why should I change it? I won't. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:17, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Don't then. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:19, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Chart performance

 * "entered the top ten on music charts in six European countries." → Do you mean debuted? Or entered after a certain amount of time?
 * Changed to reached. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:19, 29 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "it became the highest-charting single that references the famous bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde." → Source?
 * Well the source was on the next line. I did not put it at the end of each sentences because this was not a quote. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:19, 29 January 2012 (UTC)


 * "tying him with rapper P. Diddy." → for...?
 * Done. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:19, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Music video

 * Aston Martin needs a source. It's a brand.
 * It's in the book Calvin. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:20, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Okay. As long as it's there. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:25, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Toni Braxton feud

 * "and her camp" → Re-word.
 * "sent a statement" → Where? To Jay?


 * Fixed both. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:29, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Formats and track listings

 * No issues. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One

Credits and personnel

 * Jay-Z was the exec producer of a song? Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * Oops. Removed. Jivesh 1205 (Talk) 13:31, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Charts and certifications

 * No issues. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One

Summary
Only a few points to address, other than that, on hold. :) Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:30, 29 January 2012 (UTC)
 * Passed. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 13:42, 29 January 2012 (UTC)