Talk:Śāriputra/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 15:11, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  15:11, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Reviewer note: The reviewee should note that I have marked "stability" as a "no" in the template. I will overturn this if/when the article passes the other barriers to entry. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  15:11, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Lead

 * After having searched for spiritual truth for a while A more specific measurement of time would be preferable here.
 * The texts don't really specify how long they searched. I have changed it to "After having searched for spiritual truth with other contemporary teachers". Wikiman5676 (talk) 02:52, 4 April 2020 (UTC)

Background

 * German Buddhist scholar monk There's an "and" that needs to be added here.


 * who declared that his aspiration will come true Past tense, please.

Biography

 * an end to rebirth Perfect place to link to Samsara.
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * In Mūlasarvāstivāda texts Move this Wikilink to somewhere earlier to the first mention of these texts and traditions. Choose one spelling or the other, also.
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * one of the Buddha's first five arhat disciples. "Arhat", and other Pali or Sanskrit terms, should be italicized.
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Still seeing some un-italicized "arhatships", and other terms, like sotapanna. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  04:46, 4 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Did a much more thorough check this time. Hopefully i got everything. Wikiman5676 (talk) 06:53, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Upatissa All previous mentions to our protagonist use the Sanskrit spelling of his birth name.
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * but will teach what he can Past-tense.
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * something Maudgalyāyana was able to conclude to. Remove this last "to".
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Several Buddhists text Misplaced plurality.
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * the Buddha said that Śāriputra's mind to receive the punishment could not be changed just as he was unwilling to change his mind when he was a snake. First part of this reads awkwardly. Try "the Buddha said that Śāriputra's decision", and put a comma before the "just".
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * descended do hell to hell, and link Naraka.
 * and ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Various sets of the Sarvastivada Un-italicize.
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * developed overtime Needs a space here.
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * After he successfully converted his mother "successfully" here is redundant.
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 03:07, 4 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Śāriputra refused to take myrobalan, "myrobalan" here links to a Disambiguation.
 * The issue with this is sources don't indicate which myrobalan it was, it just says "a kind of myrobalan". So i have reworded the sentence and removed the wikilink. Wikiman5676 (talk) 06:53, 4 April 2020 (UTC)

In Mahayana sutras

 * Section title should be sentence-case per the linked article.


 * him as great Buddhist disciple Missing an "a".
 * Wikiman5676 (talk) 18:58, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Relics

 * According to accounts from 7th century Chinese pilgrim Xuanzang, Needs a "the".


 * However, as of 1999, no archaeological reports have confirmed 1999 was a long time ago, making present-tense inaccurate. Moreover, did some study or archaeological dig confirm or declare this to be the case?
 * I changed to past-tense
 * Comment Not really. In the paper on the discovery of the relics by Jack Daulton, he just points out that these haven't been proven by an archaeological dig, rather than archaeological digs proving there was nothing there. This could mean no digs were done as of then (1999 when Daulton published) or digs haven't found confirmed findings. Or more likely some combination of the two scenarios. Here is what Daulton says:
 * "According to early Buddhist texts and Chinese traveller's accounts, relics of Sariputta and Moggallana (i.e., their bones and other cremation remains) were originally enshrined at various sites in northeastern India. Unfortunately, none of those reports has ever been confirmed by an archaeological find."
 * Ah, the old "absence of evidence". – ♠Vami _IV†♠  11:39, 6 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Indian Prime Minister Nehru Expand this to his full name.
 * ✅ Wikiman5676 (talk) 19:07, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Legacy
And, finally:


 * or the disciples Ananda and Mahākāśyapa. Replace Use the accented Ānanda, for consistency.
 * ✅ Great catch, sometimes I forget Ānanda has an accent. Wikiman5676 (talk) 01:32, 7 April 2020 (UTC)