Talk:11th Battalion (Australia)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 10:36, 10 September 2013 (UTC)

Progression

 * Version of the article when originally reviewed:
 * Version of the article when review was closed:

Technical review

 * Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
 * Disambiguations: one dab link :
 * Messines
 * Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Linkrot: a couple of dead links :
 * The Forgotten First: The 1st Australian Division in the Great War and its Legacy (info) [army.gov.au]
 * Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Gerald Patrick McKenna (info) [ancestry.com]
 * Removed, probably not a WP:RS. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * AWM4-23/28/4: 11th Infantry Battalion War Diary: July 1915 (info) [awm.gov.au]
 * Fixed. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Alt text: Images all have alt text (no action req'd).
 * Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing (no action req'd).
 * Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd).

Criteria

 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * "The 11th Battalion was formed on 17 August 1914, less than two weeks after the declaration of war on 4 August 1914..." suggest removing second instance of 1914 as already clear which year from the text.
 * Typo here: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which assigned to the 1st Division...", consider instead: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which was assigned to the 1st Division..."
 * This is a little repetitive: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, the battalion concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia..." (battalion twice in same sentence. Consider instead: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, it concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia."
 * Repetitive wording here: "However, the battalion became disorganised during the landing and became mixed with other units..." (became twice). Perhaps reword?
 * "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Captain Raymond Leane...", should just be "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Leane..." rm rank fol formal introduction at first use per WP:SURNAME.
 * "73 other members of the battalion were wounded during the attack...", fairly sure "73" needs to be spelt out here as a number starting a sentence per WP:MOSNUM, i.e. "seventy-three".
 * I think this could be worded better: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until on the night of the 16/17 November 1915." Consider instead: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until the night of the 16/17 November 1915."
 * Missing word here: "It arrived 5 April at Marseilles, France...", probably better as "It arrived on 5 April at Marseilles, France..."
 * Missing word here: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack regained the ground that had been lost..." consider: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack, regaining the ground that had been lost."
 * should be singular here, not plural: " one CBs"
 * Typo here: "The 11 Battalion's final commanding officer...", should be "The 11th Battalion's final commanding officer..."
 * Typo here: "...an original member of the battalion who had appointed a company sergeant major...", perhaps: "...an original member of the battalion who had been appointed a company sergeant major..."
 * Repetitive: "As a result of the economic pressures of the Great Depression, the number of volunteers fell and as a result..." (as a result twice).
 * Repetitive: "A separate 11th Battalion, Royal Western Australia Regiment was reformed separately..." (separate and separately).
 * I think I fixed all of these. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * All major points cited using WP:RS.
 * No issues with OR.


 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
 * Level of coverage seems appropriate.


 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * No issues here.


 * It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * No issues here.


 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):  d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
 * Images are all PD and / or licensed and seem appropriate to the article.


 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * Looks quite good to me, just some prose and MOS issues above to deal with / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:17, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I think I've covered off on everything now. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Changes look fine. Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:00, 12 September 2013 (UTC)