Talk:1898 Tampa riot

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Assigned Peer Review

I think there is a spelling issue:

"coemption" following citation 1...should be competition. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 47.204.211.237 (talk) 04:24, 12 March 2023 (UTC)

Evie
CONTENT NOTES

The article was really interesting overall, and I think you split it up well. By splitting the background into two subsections, I think you dedicated the appropriate amount of text to the conditions under which the Buffalo Soldiers came about.

I like the way you made both a public reaction section and an aftermath section. In the public response part, you might want to add a concluding sentence just summarizing the perception of the event by white people vs. Black people. The evidence is great, and a final tie-together would be the cherry on top.

I like the way you credit both pre-existing prejudices as well as the riot with creating the environment these soldiers returned to when they came back from Cuba in your aftermath section.

I split the aftermath into two paragraphs and I think the second paragraph is a great conclusion to the article because it comments on the long-term effects of the riot. You could add one or two more sentences to the second one so it stands stronger as its own paragraph, but I don’t think you need to! GENERAL NOTES

I added a lot of commas in and fixed the placement of others. You write some long sentences, so I think you just have to be careful to put all the commas you need so they stay clear/readable.

I also changed some tenses because you had a few disagreements (past and present in the same sentence). Matching tenses is really annoying, but ya know. I flipped the two or three I saw into the past tense, but you could go through and do another check.

CORRECTIONS/CHANGES - I just have some corrections I didn’t want to make for you because they’re more stylistic or involve inserting a link. For these, I wrote the comment out. If I was suggesting a rewrite of your text, I bolded your version and then wrote my suggestion after it. These are in chronological order.

“The riot occurred on the of their embarkation” - on the what? You might want to link to Wiki articles about the Twenty-fourth and Twenty-fifth Infantry Regiments if they exist

Could add an external link to Spanish American War

The Army and Navy Journal could be italicized or in quotes as well as externally linked to

“The Tampa press was especially critical of the black soldiers publishing story after story of them being undisciplined and riotous.” is a little clumsy Maybe: “The Tampa press was especially critical of the black soldiers, and frequently published stories painting them as undisciplined and riotous.”

'''“For these soldiers who had fought with distinction on the frontier, they were appalled by the Tampa resident's efforts to demonize them and resisted efforts by the residents to enforce the practice of segregation practices that had arisen in the South.[8] Resentment toward the black soldiers was not limited to civilians. White soldiers expressed regular vitriol on how black soldiers had the ability to exercise authority over them and lunged numerous racial epithets at them.[9] Through the summer of 1898, the black soldiers displayed restraint against those who insulted them but, it was clear that tensions were rising.”''' Could change this to: Because these soldiers had fought with distinction on the frontier, they were appalled by the Tampa resident's efforts to demonize them and resisted efforts by Tampa residents to enforce the segregation practices that had arisen in the South.[8] Resentment toward the black soldiers was not limited to civilians. White soldiers expressed regular vitriol about the ability of black soldiers to exercise authority over them and lunged numerous racial epithets at them.[9] Through the summer of 1898, the black soldiers displayed restraint against those who insulted them, but it was clear that tensions were rising.

“Second Georgia Volunteer Infantry” could have an external link

The Tampa Tribune could be italicized or in quotes as well as externally linked to

Josh
Here are some specific content suggestions.

Lede:

You talk about the Regiments in the army, though to someone like me who is not really familiar with military structure and organization, I think it would be helpful to specifically mention that it is the U.S. Army since you could be talking about any military branch in this sentence.

The sentence "The riot occurred on the of their embarkation" has an error, you'd just need to put in a word after "the"

The last sentence of the lede is pretty unclear and vague. While it's obvious you're talking about African-American soldiers, you do not make this clear when you only refer to these soldiers as "they." Additionally, the analysis that the incident highlighted the racial divide is decently obvious, and needs some specifying, perhaps referencing this event in the context of the Nadir period.

Background:

I think this section is very well written, but I think the word "lunged" needs to be replaced with something like "directed."

The Riot:

I think there's a missing word when you say "...several soldiers from the Second Georgia were transferred..."

Suggestions:

I think some of the language concerning the bravery of these troops suggests a praiseworthy and uncritical (hence nationally biased) tone for those wars, such as the Spanish-American war itself. Overall though I think this is very well written.

Matty
Hi! Very interesting article. One or two things that I noted is that could you maybe start one or two new paragraphs in the sections "The Riot," "Public Response," and "Aftermath" as only one paragraph tend to feel a little bit heavy when reading. You could also put the "The Tampa Riot of 1898," at the beginning of your article, in bold, since it is a common feature used in Wikipedia article. MathiIde (talk) 17:37, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Other than that, I think your article is great and very clear; the "Citations" and "References" sections look great! MathiIde (talk) 21:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Wiki Education assignment: Protest and Police in US History
— Assignment last updated by Elizab57 (talk) 21:24, 24 January 2024 (UTC)