Talk:1918 Georgia Tech Golden Tornado football team/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: BU Rob13 (talk · contribs) 04:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)

Currently reviewing (and I'll be faster this time!) ~ Rob 13 Talk 04:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)

Lead

 * Note 1 is generally good, but I believe who coined the term is off-topic to this specific season's article. It would be more on-topic in 1917, when the name gained popularity.
 * This is irrelevant to the GA review, but it would be a crime not to take Bum Day to GA and get that on the main page for DYK on April Fools. Looks like you've already put in some work to that article.
 * Remove cites 3 and 4 from the lead, as they appear later in the article.

Before the season

 * No comma needed before "and the ongoing war effort" (no verb)
 * The first sentence of the first paragraph needs a citation, although it's undoubtedly true.
 * Let's tack on "effort" to "lost to the war". It almost reads like he died.
 * Is that the right Fincher for that glass eye anecdote? The source says he played in 1928, which doesn't match up with the 1918 season.
 * Note 2 should be removed. While an interesting fact, it's better relegated to Wood's biographical article.
 * The first sentence of the fourth paragraph needs re-wording. It has too many clauses at the moment and is awkward to read.
 * The first cite of cite 11 can be removed, as it's repeated just a sentence later.

Clemson

 * The source doesn't support Joe Guyon's touchdown vs Clemson being an interception return.
 * Reword third sentence in Clemson. Possibly "During the game, Red Barron hurdled ...". Sounds odd as-is.
 * Might want to add "former captain" to the fact about Strupper for clarity.

Furman

 * No comments.

11th Cavalry

 * No comments.

Camp Gordon

 * A period is needed to end the last sentence.

North Carolina A&M

 * "Ripple was" is a bit boring. Try "Ripple became" or possibly some other sentence structure.

Pittsburgh

 * "last year" --> "the previous year"
 * "got his wish" - is that encyclopedic tone? Moreover, it's not sourced that he had a strong "wish" for this game.
 * Comma needed in the second sentence.
 * "Pittsburgh was the 1918 national champion." needs a citation.
 * You have a quote about interceptions making up for fumbles, but neither the interceptions nor the fumbles are otherwise talked about. This could use some context.
 * The paragraph starting with "Tech managed a modicum of revenge." needs some substantial work. First, "revenge" is adding an editorial spin on things which isn't very neutral. Second, the phrasing throughout is not that great, especially the third sentence. Please rework this to more neutrally present the information.

Auburn

 * Reduce cites. Consecutive sentences from the same source only need a cite at the end.

Postseason

 * The "Awards and honors" section needs a cite to cover the last few sentences.
 * The text to begin the "Awards and honors" is identical to that in the lead. Some similarity is inevitable when covering the same information, but exact duplication is frowned upon. It makes the main article boring to read for those who read the lead. Please vary the language a bit.

Depth chart

 * Needs a cite.

Image check

 * All images are public domain with sensible rationales. ~ Rob 13 Talk 06:30, 7 May 2017 (UTC)

Conclusion

 * pending changes. ~ Rob 13 Talk 06:28, 7 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks again Rob. It is definitely Fincher in the picture. That's probably him in 1920. He was an assistant coach in 1928. Cake  (talk) 07:11, 7 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Let me know when you're all done with changes and I'll look again. ~ Rob 13 Talk 07:18, 7 May 2017 (UTC)
 * I think I covered all the necessary changes. Cake  (talk) 22:50, 8 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Can you replace cite 24 with something else? It's not a reliable source. The statistics site is hosted by a computer science professor who has no apparent expertise related to sports. ~ Rob 13 Talk 03:06, 9 May 2017 (UTC)
 * I replaced it with Woodruff saying no team in the South compared to Tech; possibly not as clear as the website, which compiles Woodruff, Fred Russell, and others. Cake  (talk) 04:17, 18 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks! Passing for GA. ~ Rob 13 Talk 21:44, 19 May 2017 (UTC)