Talk:1920 Akron Pros season/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 23:33, 9 March 2012 (UTC)

I'm going to be the one reviewing this article, will try to complete the review sometime tonight. Secret account 23:33, 9 March 2012 (UTC)

The article needs mild work, mainly with prose before becoming an GA as there was some sentences that were confusing, plus I have concerns about the main source of this article.

—Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 06:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 21:54, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 06:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 21:54, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 21:54, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 21:54, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 21:54, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 06:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC) —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 17:51, 10 March 2012 (UTC)
 * "The Indians lost money because of the constant poor performance" The season before they were 5-5 which isn't poor. Anything I'm missing?
 * The team used to have one- or two-loss seasons and were constantly winning the Ohio League Championship. After 1915, the team never won. This is what I think the source means by saying the poor performance. I've added some information about it.
 * "The two changed the team name to the Akron Pros, as they hoped to achieve a better record and crowd" How would the name change will achieve a better record and crowd?
 * Can't find a source saying how.
 * "became united as the" Weren't they united as the Ohio League already? Reword
 * Reworded.
 * "At the meeting in September, held at Ralph Hay's Hupmobile showroom" Is Hay an important figure in the formation of the league?
 * Yeah, he was the owner of the Canton Bulldogs. I'll add it.
 * Sentence that starts with "The following was achieved" run-on sentence and does it has to go into detail? Some of the sentence also isn't properly explained such as "a committee to draft a constitution was named" I don't understand what it means? League rules?
 * I've taken some thing out, and reworded it.
 * "In week three, the Pros played against the Panhandles" "In week four the Pros played against" and so on. It becomes repetitive, reword.
 * Reworded most of it.
 * line substitute, but the coach decided to play Sweetland this game? What's a line substitute?
 * Reworded to backup.
 * the Pros defeated the Tigers 7-0 to keep their undefeated streak alive? Season is a better word than streak.
 * Fixed.
 * Pollard dislocated his right shoulder... Was it a major injury? Any impact to the season? He's back by week 8 so.
 * The source doesn't show if he did or not play, so I don't know the severity of the injury.
 * "Bulldogs were still upset from the "fluke" loss earlier in the season" The word fluke is unexplained.
 * Removed the word fluke.
 * Why was Nash sold?
 * Added why.
 * "The game could have been classified as a World Championship" How?
 * Added why.
 * "who were tired from the game yesterday" What game?
 * Added what game.
 * Did the league do something against Halas for the Driscoll incident?
 * Surprisingly, no.
 * "ineligible receiver penalties: the tackles went into motion, who were replaced by the ends, who were replaced by the back." I'm completely lost on the meaning here.
 * Removed that part. It was confusing to me, too.
 * "However, the NFL does not now recognize the Pros as having been world champions" Why? Also the word now is unneeded there.
 * That was put there by some other user. IDK what he was even talking about, so I just removed it.
 * Is the All-AFPA award by the Rock Island Argus considered a major award back then?
 * Yes. Pro-Football-Reference.com uses it to define the 1920 All-Pro team.
 * Chicago Defender reported that the refereeing was biased towards Decatur. An reason why would be helpful.
 * Since I don't have the article, I can't read it to see if there was a reason why.
 * Why is this an high-quality reliable source. Professional Football Researchers Association is extremely similar to SABR with contributors that are well-known and highly respected historians in their area, and some self-published amateur authors with poorly written or poorly researched work. This particular article doesn't source an bibliography page, plus it came from an era (1982) in which historical sports researching wasn't as strict with fact-checking as it is now. I rarely use historical sources relating to American Sports before 1990 because of that reason, unless the author is/was an well-known expert. This essay is a bit difficult to verify. Sentences like "Bailey was a sensation at center, and quarterback Harris ran the team smoothly and returned punts like a wizard" doesn't help the cause for the source.
 * The author, Bob Carroll, founded the PFRA and heavily contributed for The Coffin Corner for several years. The last article of his I've seen was 1996. He has also written multiple books, listed here.
 * Every other source is OK, and I don't see any close paraphrasing concerns. Images are all in public domain.

Secret account 05:00, 10 March 2012 (UTC)

Thank you, Secret, for taking time to review this article. I have addressed a few before going to bed. I will [probably] finish them tomorrow morning. —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 06:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC)


 * Ok passed Secret account