Talk:1945 Homestead hurricane/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)

I am reviewing this. Note: I will be offline till 21z. Please be quiet and independent and address these if the opportunity presents itself when I'm offline. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The 1945 Homestead hurricane was one of the most intense tropical cyclones to strike the U.S. state of Florida since 1935." to "The 1945 Homestead hurricane was the most intense tropical cyclones to strike the U.S. state of Florida since 1935." (assuming it was the most itnesne TC to strike FL of course). YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "Moving briskly west-northwestward, it became a major hurricane on September 13." what is "it"? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * How strong was the storm at landfall? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * See previous sentence. Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The storm made another landfall near the Georgia-South Carolina state line later on September 17." change "the storm" to "the cyclone", since you say the phrase "the storm" in the previous sentence. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The storm caused significant impact in the Turks and Caicos Islands and the Bahamas, with severe damage on some islands and 22 deaths reported." to "The storm caused significant damage and 22 deaths in the Turks and Caicos Islands and the Bahamas." YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * " Most of city of Homestead was destroyed, while at the Richmond Naval Air Station, a fire ignited during the storm burned down three hangers worth $3 million (1945 USD) each. " change "of city of" to "the city of" :P YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * ", including the fire chief of the Richmond station" is that important? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * That would make it an incomplete sentence, so keeping, and yes a fire chief of a major naval base being killed is important. Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * " In The Carolinas," why is the "The" capitalized? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * See the Wikipedia article, fixed it anyways but I'm not 100% sure if its proper. Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The origins of the hurricane are uncertain" per whom? Honestly, I'd just delete this and start off "The hurricane was first observed on September 12 about 235 mi (380 km) east-northeast of Barbuda in the Lesser Antilles. ". YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * " It was a smaller than average storm, and continued intensifying while moving toward southeastern Florida. " how are these related? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Did the homestead hurricane have an eye? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Don't know, ask Hink Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "toward southeastern Florida. [1]" can you eat the space before the ref please? 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The center passed very close to Homestead Air Reserve Base about an hour after landfall" which landfall? the 1st or 2nd? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * The second landfall was in Georgia.... Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * " where a central pressure of 951 mbar (28.1 inHg).[1][2]" to " where a central barometric pressure of 951 mbar (28.1 inHg) was recorded.[1][2]". YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The observation suggested a landfall pressure of 949 mbar (28.0 inHg), and based on the small size, suggested landfall and peak winds of 130 mph (215 km/h); this is a Category 4 on the current Saffir-Simpson scale." a few issues. Firstly, cut out "suggest landfall". Also, change "based on the small size" to "based on its small size". Thirdly, since I hate the word "this" and you should spell out SSHWS, I am going to suggest changing the last part to ", equivalent to a Category 4 on the current Saffir-Simpson hurricane wind scale.". YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "Although hurricane warnings were initially issued for the Leeward Islands, the cyclone passed north of the Lesser Antilles.[1] " link "hurricane warnings" to tropical cyclone warnings and watches. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "In advance of the storm, aircraft were evacuated from the Naval Air Station in Miami, Florida.[3] In total, hundreds of planes left vulnerable locations.[4]" combine these two sentences sir. `YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * ", while residents boarded homes and evacuated from coastal areas to public structures." cut this part out (happens in every hurricane). YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "However Grady Norton, " comma after "however". YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "stated before the storm impact that Miami would "miss the worst of it".[6] " keep it simple and cut the word "impact". YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "Peak gusts were estimated near 40 mph (65 km/h) in the city.[8] " in what city? YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "200 people were injured at the Richmond Naval Air Station.[10]" don't start a sentence with a number. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "200 people were injured at the Richmond Naval Air Station.[10] when a fire ignited during the storm, affecting three hangars worth $3 million each and destroying 25 blimps, 366 planes, and 150 automobiles. " axe the period and possible replace it with a comma. 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "Damages to that area was estimated at $40 million.[6]" you just said it was $9 mil above! if "that area" means the entire FL/Miami area, mention it when the information ends. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Only for the three hangers alone, clarified. Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "More than 1,000 Red Cross workers were activated in response to the cyclone.[11]" this is aftermath, not impact. (I have a solution if you keep reading). YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "After the storm, The Daily Gleaner initiated a fund to offer aid for residents in the Turks and Caicos Islands.[8]" see above. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * I created an aftermath sentence but it would be awkward to add that sentence without any supporting information, so I kept it the same. Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "A force of 400 German prisoner of wars and 200 Bahamian laborers participated in the cleanup process.[6]" ditto. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Merge the last three sentences into a paragraph since they are all aftermath-related. YE Pacific  Hurricane 12:55, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Fixed everything else. Thanks Secret account 16:24, 7 April 2014 (UTC)