Talk:1984 World Snooker Championship/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:04, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments That's it for now, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 16:12, 9 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "The event was organised by the World Professional Billiards and Snooker Association (" ref?
 * Added to prose. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Redwood Lodge, Bristol from " comma after Bristol.
 * Reworded slightly Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "78 players; 16 of these players reached the main stage, where they met the 16 invited seeded players" players x 3, reword to avoid the rapid repitition.
 * Reworded slightly Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "the highest prize pool" repetitive.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "The event featured 94 participants." strangely positioned - two sentences ago you noted 78 qualifiers and 16 pre-qualified, so there would probably have been the apt moment to note "totalling 94" or similar.
 * Reworded slightly Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Davis met countryman" -> "He met..."
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "the match, but the match " repetitive.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * " scored the championship's highest break, scoring " repetitive.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "A total of eight" -> "Eight"
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "broadcast by BBC and ITV." in the UK. Was it not broadcast anywhere else on the planet?
 * I have no sourcing for other broadcasts. may have additional sourcing. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I've also drawn a blank on international TV coverage of this tournament. In Snooker: The Records (1985), Clive Everton says "Countries like Australia, New Zealand and Canada are well aware of snooker's British television success story but have themselves proceeded cautiously in attempting to repeat it" and mentions "Thailand, who buys miles of BBC snooker footage." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Shame. I didn't think it had too much coverage. I'd assume Eurosport covered it, but I can't find anything specifically stating it either. Might have to live with it at just those two. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "the 1984-85 snooker season " en-dash.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Alex Higgins provided" link Higgins.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Redwood Lodge, Bristol between " it feels like the third time you've told me this.
 * Deleted one entry. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "78 players.[7][8] The qualifying event ran from " -> "78 players from"
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "20[12] also" comma after 20.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:55, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Former eight-time world champion" hmm, never like these... perhaps "Eight-time former world champion"?
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Marcel Gauvreau, Bill Werbeniuk, Eddie Charlton, John Parrott, Fred Davis and Mario Morra all overlinked in First round section.
 * " the top-16, to" no need to hyphenate.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Willie Thorne also [20] Virgo's " something's missing.
 * reworded. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * " Alex Higgins" should have been linked before this (see above).
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "surprise defeat of Davis in the first round " -> "surprise win in the first round" (you've already said it was a Davis defeat).
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "having a fine of £5,000 imposed " -> "being fined £5,000"
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "of 138 the highest break" -> "of 138, the highest break"
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "taking 10 hours and 10 minutes of playing time" is this significant? You don't mention other match durations.
 * Reworded. I'm not sure it is. - what does the source actually say? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I think this can be omitted. The Times says "Steve Davis, the title holder, took 10 hours and 10 minutes of playing time to beat Terry Griffiths" and that they "toiled in tranquillity." The implication is that it was a slow match, but Snooker Scene for June 1984 doesn't emphasise this, just saying "the whole match was played to a very tight technical pattern." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I'll change. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "some cheese and tomato sandwiches" too much information?
 * Maybe? It's quite interesting that he attributed it to food poisoning in my eyes. I'll change to just sandwich. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:02, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "beat Stevens 16–14[37] to become" move the ref to the end.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "match played between " no need for played.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Davis dominated the first session to lead 6–1 against Jimmy White," don't need "against Jimmy White" as you just told us who he was playing.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "the last session" final session.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "The win was Davis' third ..." win win won. In one sentence.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Higgins and world rankings overlinked.
 * I have gone through the article for WP:OL Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "7th" -> seventh.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Steve Davis won " (pictured in xxxx)? He didn't look like that in 1984.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Could mention Jim Thorpe in the prose as the ref for the final.
 * Added a little on this, plus his prior finals. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * 1978, Rex Williams and Jim Donnelly overlinked in the Century breaks section.
 * ✅ Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * What makes ref 22 RS?
 * It's the archive for Chris Turner's statistics (now a deadlink sadly). Turner is the only snooker historian that's well respected outside Clive Everton. Here is him writing for Eurosport, for example. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * In a short Obituary in Snooker Scene for December 2011 (edited by Everton), it says that Turner "collated billiards and snooker statistics for many years and ran a very useful website … in which key facts and figures were recorded." (I'd add a couple of others to my list of respected historians, but would definitely include Turner.) BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "The Guardian and The Observer" these should be in italics.
 * Ref 7, is it really formatted as small w for where and big M for Money?
 * hi, any chance you'll address these soon? I'm running quite a hard/fast seven day rule these days.  The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 07:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Apologies. It slipped my mind (that's what happens when you get all these noms at the same time, I suppose). I'll take a look in a mo. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:35, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * That should cover it, apart from the two sourcing issues I'll raise with Benny (I don't even know where to start with the sourcing for this sort of thing (offline), so Benny deserves most of the credit for this article. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:34, 14 April 2020 (UTC)

Good work both. I'm happy to promote this now. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 14:28, 14 April 2020 (UTC)