Talk:1986 Pacific hurricane season/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 04:39, 3 August 2012 (UTC)

More later. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 04:39, 3 August 2012 (UTC) I'm going to stop here, since there clearly many issues with the article. It looks like it was rushed through to get to GAN. Just, a lot of the wordings in the article are confusing, and that is from someone who knows hurricanes pretty well. Try getting someone to copyedit it (GAN isn't meant for copyediting). Again, check wikilinks, redundancies, and stop worrying so much about what the EPHC said in their report :P There's no need to keep saying a disturbance formed on X day, since that'd be like mentioning every time in an Atlantic article when a storm was invested. Sometimes, you can just say "A tropical wave spawned a tropical depression on August X". Also, cut down on the water temps. Sorry, but I'm going to fail it. There are a lot of problems. It shouldn't take too long to fix though. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * It needs a more interesting opening sentence, one that actually describes the season.
 * Added. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Still pretty vague. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Meh, the 1962 Pacific hurricane season, a GA by yours, has a similar opener.
 * Did the season really start those dates in 1986? The source only says that it currently is defined by those dates.
 * Could not find anything saying they were not these dates. Should I remove this? YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Well, I wouldn't say you should remove it, but you should have some indication that the season length is what it currently is, if you can't find a contemporaneous one. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Added but it looks weird now. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "There were four notable storms this year." - define notable
 * Removed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * But now it's missing some kind of flow in the sentences. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Added a sentence back in. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " In Newton, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration conducted an environmental research in to the cyclone" - wording could be tightened
 * Any suggestions? YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Well, you say "In Newton" and "into the cyclone", for starters. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The National Weather Service Field Service Station provided the East Pacific with excellent satellite coverage" - whose description says it was "excellent"? If no one, then you should pick a not-so-biased word
 * the EPHC. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * So it's a quote? --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Sorta. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Three tropical cyclones made landfall in 1986, with the worst effects in Mexico were from Roslyn." - with is not a conjunction
 * Re-worded slightly. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Now, Roslyn is the only storm with damage in that paragraph. I still don't get the structure. Maybe move the landfalls to where you mention Estelle and Roslyn? --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "However, only one storm formed in the Central Pacific Hurricane Center's (CPHC) area of responsibility, Tropical Depression One-C" - however isn't appropriate here, since it doesn't contradict the previous sentence.
 * Removed "however". YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * The impact from Estelle and Roslyn in the season summary should probably be its own paragraph. I'm not really sure what structure you're going for in that section.
 * Did the first part. I'm trying to include activity and impact along with the TD's.YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "In addition to 17 named storms, there were eight system during the season" - first, verb/noun agreement, and second, you need number consistency.
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Tropical Depression Seven began as a giant area of thunderstorms near the large Hurricane Estelle" - "giant" is wonky here, and was Estelle larger?
 * Not sure. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Well, giant is a pretty POV word, and why mention the size if they're not relevant? --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Any better?
 * " It strengthened into Tropical Depression Seven-E on July 17." - either that should be merged with the previous sentence, or something happened that I'm confused about. How could it strengthen into a TD?
 * Merged, but TD 7E went from Invest to TD probs. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Moving at about 12–13 mph (19–21 km/h), Depression Seven-E" - why is the speed relevant? And why did you call it "Depression Seven-E"?
 * Made it a more general statement, and on the second part, I want some variety :) YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * But "Depression Seven-E" wasn't its name. Seven-E isn't applicable either, since a number isn't a name. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Any better? YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Tropical Depression Eight began over 81 °F (27 °C) water on July 21 1,000 mi (1,600 km) southwest of the Baja California Peninsula." - comma is needed. And why the mention of the water temperature? Is that notable somehow?
 * I want to give the reader on what the environment was like for Eight and I can't find a place to squeeze a comma. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * But is that environment relevant? And, mostly "over 81 °F (27 °C) water on July 21 1,000 mi (1,600 km)" is visually annoying. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Yes IMO, and revised slightly. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Initially moving west-northwest around an upper-level high, the depression peaked with winds of 35 mph (55 km/h) and slowed down after turning to the west-northwest' - you mention WNW movement twice in one sentence
 * Cut the last part out. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "A tropical disturbance first formed on July 24." - was that the same as TD 8? The current wording is ambiguous
 * It's not since TD 8 is dead by that time. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * No, it says TD 8 dissipated on August 24, and another disturbance formed on August 24. The current wording makes it seem like they're the same system. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Better now? YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The cyclone remained a steady state tropical depression for about three days before moving into the CPHC's area of responsibility. Tropical Depression Ten crossed 140°W at 1000 UTC July 27." - combine these
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  05:00, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Good except for "at 1000 UTC July 27". I'd love an "on" in there. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:34, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I thought of that all night. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "as the depression continued to move west at velocities as high as 30 mph (45 km/h)." - what does that mean? It was moving westward at 30 mph?
 * I think so. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Tropical Depression One-C was tracked westward along 11 °N at a fairly rapid forward speed of 35 mph (55 km/h) on July 27." - 11N doesn't help much, that could be anywhere in a 25,000 mile vicinity.
 * Removed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "It is likely that the depression was formed from the remnants of a tropical depression that had dissipated a few days earlier well to the east of 140 °W. " - which TD? And "was formed"...?
 * Removed "was". YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "An area of disturbed weather developed a circulation on August 12 and was respectively upgraded upgraded into Tropical Depression Twelve nearly 700 mi (1,100 km) south of the Baja California Peninsula." - why "respectively"?
 * Since the EPHC liked to declare storms when the got an LLC. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " near 22 °N 110 °W on August 14" - TC articles generally avoid exact locations unless they're significant.
 * Does not mean we can use it here :P YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * "The final cyclone of the season formed from a tropical disturbance in the ITCZ.[1] The disturbance moved at about 10 mph (20 km/h). The disturbance was declared Tropical Depression Twenty-One at 0600 UTC September 19." - this could be combined into two sentences. Also, what direction did it move at? And 10 mph is 16 km/h, don't know where you got 20 k/h from. Also, you say it was the final cyclone of the season, but then you describe another TD after that.
 * Fixed all. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "at 1800 UTC near the 140°W line" - that isn't the first time you mention 140 W, but that is the first time you link it. How come? Why didn't you mention earlier that CPHC's responsibility is between 140 and the IDL?
 * It is now since I fixed the above. the CHPC's boundaries IMO is beyond the scope of this article. :P
 * "A low pressure trough extended a large area, making further development very unlikely." - I don't get what this means. I thought low-pressure trough were just areas of low pressures, so how would that preclude development?
 * Re-wrote. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The stationary storm had dissipated within 30 hours of formation" - does that refer to the trough or the TD? Wording is ambiguous.
 * I think this issues fixed itself :P YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Even though no more official systems developed, the National Hurricane Center remarked that an unnamed tropical storm may have formed in November." - the NHC did not say that. It was one person, not the entire agency.
 * Added that it was a forcaster. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * As a blanket comment, make sure all units are properly formatted. Make sure if the first one is rounded, the second one is too. For miles, they should be rounded to the nearest 10, ditto km.
 * Disagree with the second part, but most of them should be okay, It's worth nothing that the EPHC does not like to round units. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "the system was upgraded into Tropical Storm Agatha" - is "into" appropriate here?
 * I guess. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Any impact from Agatha aside from rainfall?
 * Nah. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The rest of Mexico was hit by 1–3 in (25–76 mm) of rainfall." - it becomes redundant by this point. Any impact from the TD?
 * Meh, that's a problem with EPAC storms. No real impact, but I did find something that there was a aldslide in Mexico City that damaged 50 homes, but I have no proof it was from TD 2E. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "strengthening into the third tropical depression of the 1986 season" - is that appropriate? Systems don't generally strengthen into TD's in the EPAC
 * Re-worded. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Winds reached 40 mph (60 km/h) on June 18, indicating that the depression intensified into Tropical Storm Blas." - winds reached, based on what?
 * Removed the first part. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " Later that day, its circulation had became well-defined enough to upgrade the disturbance into Tropical Depression Four-E." - the circulation upgraded itself?
 * The EPHC did :P YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Winds reached 40 mph (65 km/h), upgrading the system into Tropical Storm Celia on June 26." - poor wording, same problem as Celia. The winds were likely estimated, so once they reached 40 mph the EPHC upgraded the TD to TS.
 * Cela? You mean Blas :P but it's been fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The fifth tropical cyclone of the season, formed as a tropical disturbance on July 2" - why, the comma?
 * Removed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Moving at about 13 mph (21 km/h), the disturbance entered warmer water and strengthening rapidly. " - grammar, what direction was it moving, and how can a disturbance intensify rapidly?
 * It moved NW, of course, a disturbance can undergo RI. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * "While clouds spread northward over the US states of Arizona and southern California on July 6; the cyclone dissipated on July 7" - while is inappropriate connector (since while implies it happened at the same time), and the semicolon is inappropriate since the first part is not a complete clause.
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "During the afternoon of July 16, a tropical depression formed, and within 12 hours it strengthened into a tropical storm" - where?
 * In the middle of nowhere. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " On July 18, Estelle intensified into a hurricane, and located in a favorable environment, Estelle continued strengthening to become the first major hurricane of the season on July 20." - avoid saying Estelle twice
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Source for 2012 USD in Estelle's section?
 * It's a template. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "However, the only deaths reported were two drownings in Oahu that occurred on July 23 because of rough surf caused by Estelle" - only? Those were two of the only deaths in the season
 * No, from the storm. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " The storm quickly developed a well-defined eye and three hours later"... three hours after developing an eye?
 * Yea. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Don't overlink. And watch where you're linking things. Frank's section has the second linkage of "sea surface temperatures", but you mentioned that several times previously.
 * Fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * You sure Frank became extratropical?
 * Yea. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * You should include some of the WPAC history of Georgette, to be consistent with other basin crossers and including at least some of their whole history.
 * Added a little more. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "A tropical wave crossed Southwestern Mexico and Belize in mid-August. A tropical disturbance developed about 52 mi (84 km) south of Acapulco on August 15" - was the disturbance the TW? And note the distance. How is it "about 52"? Such a random approximation.
 * Removed "about". YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Rainfall along the southern coast reached 1 in (25 mm) in some places, with totals in excess of 5 in (130 mm) in isolated locations. Further north, rainfall was more scattered. The maximum rainfall was 9.25 in (235 mm) in Reforma, near the southern part of the country. In all, rainfall totals were recorded in over 2,000 locations." - first, why mention the "excess of 5 in", since you also mention the peak total? Also, what does the last sentence even mean?
 * I'm sorry, but I don't see anything wrong here. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " Satellite imagery began to show signs of developing a circulation, and the disturbance became a tropical depression." - when?
 * on August 19. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  15:10, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Steadily moved towards the west over 85 °F (29 °C) ocean temperatures, the depression intensified into Tropical Storm Javier hours later" - bad grammar in the first clause, and hours later from when?
 * Fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Despite an increase in forward speed, Tropical Storm Javier underwent rapid intensification, reaching hurricane intensity at 0900 UTC August 21." - what does forward speed have to do with RI?
 * Foast-moving storms are hard to undergo RI. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "A major hurricane is Category 3 or higher on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale" - why would you mention this in the second MH of the season? And, before you even mentioned the storm became a C3!
 * Removed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Meanwhile, the storm's motions slowed and sharply turned towards the north and eventually towards the northwest" - poor start to a paragraph, what are "motions", and when was this happening?
 * Re-worded. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * You never say that Javier was a C4 the first time around
 * Huh? YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Hurricane Javier had weakened directly into a Category 2 hurricane" - it weakened from C4 to C2?
 * Yea, but it will likely be fixed in a few years. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * There's no need to keep mentioning the exact water temperatures. It gets old.
 * Removed one example. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Due to the former, 600,000 people went to the beaches" - what happened to the 600,000 people?
 * Idk. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Its hardly rushed IMO, I made 100+ edits, sent it to a GAN and PR. On the disturbance part, I could see mentioning that for the ATl, all season articles should have a mention of origins IMO. I put the water temps in so the sections are not stubby short. After all, the ideal length for the season section is about the length of the infobox IMO. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  23:47, 3 August 2012 (UTC)
 * But every storm had the same origins, and almost every storm mentions the same water temperature. It becomes quite repetitive. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 12:55, 4 August 2012 (UTC)