Talk:1988–89 Calgary Flames season/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer:  Harrias  talk 08:51, 8 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Initial look
 * No dab links.
 * All eight web references are clean and working.
 * Neither of the two images have alt text: I know it isn't policy at the moment, but I would prefer that you add some alt text, though it won't affect whether I pass or fail the article.
 * On the whole, looks pretty good. I'll break the article down section by section for a more detailed review.  Harrias  talk 08:51, 8 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * Having used "ninth", I'd be looking for "sixteenth" to be written out too, rather than the current mix of the two.
 * Consider linking "regular season" to Season (sports) (not that it provides much explanation there!)
 * Were Fleury and Pryakhin the only players to make their debuts for the Flames that year? If not, it seems strange to mention only them in the lead. I can understand the relevance of listing Pryakhin, and I assume Fleury is listed because he went on to become (for a time) the leading scorer to the Flames: to support having them both there, perhaps mention Fleury's relevance in the lead?
 * "He capped off his Hockey Hall of Fame career by scoring a goal in the game that clinched the Stanley Cup, and announced his retirement following the season." – This whole sentence reads a little weirdly, and "capped off" is probably not encyclopedic language! I'd suggest changing the end of the sentence to something like ".. and announced his retirement shortly thereafter." I can't think of an alternative for the first bit at the moment though.


 * Regular season
 * "The Flames season.." change to "The Flames' season.."
 * "..but his disappointing playoffs left general manager Cliff Fletcher desiring a trade." – try "..but his disappointing performance during the playoffs left general manager Cliff Fletcher desiring a trade." (I'm also not convinced about the second half, but I can't think of a workable alternative.)
 * "Coach Terry Crisp preached a defensively responsible system," – replace "preached" with "favoured", a more encyclopedic term.
 * "..compiling a 14–0–3 record.." Explain this for the layman, probably best done with a note.
 * "Co-captain Lanny McDonald, a veteran.." – In the lead you capitalise the term "Co-Captain", but here you don't: try to be consistent. For the record, I prefer this version; "Co-captain".
 * "On the same night McDonald scored his 500th.." – Missing a word, try inserting "that" between night and McDonald.
 * "..becoming the third player in NHL history after Mike Bossy and Wayne Gretzky to reach the 50-goal mark in his first two seasons." – Probably worth tightening this sentence, "..becoming the third player in NHL history after Mike Bossy and Wayne Gretzky to reach the 50-goal mark in each of his first two seasons."
 * No need to link Mike Bossy on his second mention in the paragraph.
 * Similarly, no need to link Joe Mullen just after that; you already linked to him earlier in the section.
 * Per MOS:ACCESS, avoid using bold or italics on their own to indicate something; a lot of screen readers won't highlight it's use. So in the season standings table, in addition to emboldening the text, perhaps add an asterisk * or use one of the insertion templates: Category:Image insertion templates (such as † ( † ).

I'm going to take a break from the review for the moment: the article looks pretty good; the points I'm making are nitpicks more than anything else.  Harrias  talk 09:27, 8 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review! I have addressed all of your comments, except for the last.  I agree with your comment, but that change would have to be made on a couple dozen templates (4-6 per NHL season), so I will look to do that to all, but at a later date. Resolute 23:41, 8 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Playoffs
 * Link overtime to Overtime (ice hockey).
 * Not keen on the phrase "extra frame"; I'd just stick to "extra period" or the longer "first period of overtime".
 * Link breakaway to Breakaway (ice hockey).
 * "Calgary moved on to face.." – perhaps change to "Calgary progressed to face.."?
 * "The Chicago Blackhawks represented the Flames' opponents.." – seems an overcomplicated way of saying this; change "represented" to "were".
 * Is there a reason the Division semi-final is in bold in the match log? None of the other series are.


 * Player statistics
 * As with the table previous, per MOS:ACCESS, avoid using bold or italics on their own to indicate something, as done for Tim Hunter's PIM.
 * In a similar vein, replace the text form † with † and the ‡ with ‡.


 * Transactions
 * Do you have any references for the subtractions?

I'll place the review on hold, but I'm sure it won't take you too long to address my remaining points. Nice work on this article.  Harrias  talk 13:37, 12 June 2011 (UTC)
 * And second round of comments addressed. Thanks! Resolute 22:52, 12 June 2011 (UTC)