Talk:1988 San Diego Chargers season/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 00:39, 14 April 2021 (UTC)

Happy to review this article. I'll leave comments in the next few days. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 00:39, 14 April 2021 (UTC)

I've left some comments for the first part of the article, and I'll hopefully get to the game summaries and below tomorrow. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 04:00, 14 April 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks, I'm working on the first lot of changes.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 18:01, 14 April 2021 (UTC)
 * I've restructured things, moving most of the content from the lead section into the offseason section, plus a new season overview. I think I've fixed the smaller problems. Getting info on the draft has been challenging. There isn't too much material easily-available from the pre-internet days.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 22:10, 14 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Also added in the preseason scores, as the Pittsburgh article you linked has those.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 19:09, 16 April 2021 (UTC)

Lead
Overall, I think the lead could do with some reformatting - MOS:LEAD says Apart from basic facts, significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article. A good amount of the more specific information covered here could be moved to a new "background" section or something similar in order to shorten the lead a bit and make sure that it's not the heaviest section of the article information-wise.
 * Boldface links at the beginning of the lead should be reformatted – the links are deceptive when placed next to each other (MOS:SEAOFBLUE) and the boldface part of the lead should not be linked at all (WP:BOLDAVOID)
 * Paragraph about the uniform does not seem lead-worthy to me; maybe move that to the "offseason" section under a sub-header or something like that.
 * First sentence of the third paragraph has a full stop both before and after the citation (Ref. 4) - the latter should be removed.
 * "Three different quarterbacks were tried" sounds a bit awkward - I'd use active voice there rather than passive.
 * I'd give some context to the passer rating statistic - readers not familiar with football statistics won't have the context to evaluate how good/bad that number is.
 * First and second sentences of the fourth paragraph need citations to cover the passer rating statistic and the receiving statistics, respectively.
 * Link to Anthony Miller needs to be disambiguated.
 * "Ground game" seems a bit casual for the lead - perhaps opt for "rushing game".
 * "Indifferent campaign" confuses me a little - are you using "indifferent" to mean "mediocre" or "bad", or am I misinterpreting this?
 * Link to Gary Plummer needs to be disambiguated.
 * Stats in the last paragraph need sources.

Offseason

 * Sources for the NFL Draft picks would be good.
 * It would be good to have prose here, perhaps describing other notable offseason events (trades, new players, etc.) or in the draft section giving some background about the draft itself (see 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers season for a good example).

Personnel

 * Staff and rosters both need sources - see 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers season to see how to integrate the refs into the templates.

Regular season

 * "Season" in section header should be lowercase
 * Switch the order that the scores are listed in the losses in the schedule so that San Diego's score is listed first.

Game summaries
No comments
 * Week 1
 * "Los Angeles drive 52 yards and scored through Marcus Allen" → wording is a bit off, perhaps reword a touch
 * "Debutant" → in what is Brown making his debut? Is it his first game as a Steeler or his NFL debut? I'd clarify in the sentence.
 * "14-3" → use en-dash
 * "loss-making plays" → "plays for a loss" or something similar
 * Week 2
 * "24-3" → use en-dash
 * "Denver five yard line" → yard lines are referred to with numerals in the Week 1 section; I'd be consistent with that and change "five" to "5"
 * If the last line with James' stats are not covered by the reference at the end of the previous paragraph (Ref 47), they need a ref. If they are, ignore this comment.
 * Week 3
 * "Abbott was successful from 48 yards" → specify that this was a field goal attempt
 * "10-3" → use en-dash
 * "Johnson's second success" → "Johnson's second successful field goal attempt" or similar
 * If the last line with Anderson's stats are not covered by the reference at the end of the previous paragraph (Ref 48), they need a ref. If they are, ignore this comment.
 * Week 4
 * "2-2" → use en-dash
 * "The Chiefs dominated the middle quarters" → as far as I'm aware, "middle quarters" isn't a common American football term - I'd just opt for "second and third quarters"
 * link three-and-out
 * Week 5
 * Week 6
 * "fresh set of downs" → "new set of downs"; I know this is a semi-common phrase, but "new" works better when it comes to straightforward wording
 * Last sentence with Laufenberg's stats needs a reference (if it's not covered by Ref 53)
 * Week 7
 * "down 10–7" → "down 7–10"
 * Week 8
 * "453-239" → use en-dash
 * Week 9
 * In the game summary box, instead of leaving the weather as "Dome", specify something like "N/A (game played indoors)"
 * "2-6" → use en-dash
 * "trailing 10-0" → "trailing 0–10"
 * "299-235" → use en-dash
 * Week 10
 * "levelled the scores" → "levelled the score"
 * Week 11
 * Vlasic's stats need a citation
 * Week 12
 * "17-14" → use en-dash
 * Week 13
 * citations for the last sentence
 * Week 14
 * en-dash for the score in second paragraph
 * Week 15
 * did Byrd intercept a pass thrown by or intended for Lipps?
 * en-dash for score
 * Week 16
 * en-dash for score

Overall assessment
Thanks for your patience during this review. All of my concerns have been satisfied, happy to pass. Well done. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 19:27, 23 April 2021 (UTC)