Talk:1990 Toledo Rockets football team/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Neonblak (talk · contribs) 17:42, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

I will be conducting a review of this article, should be completed within the next couple of days, but hopefully I can have it up sooner if time permits. Neonblak talk  -  17:42, 7 October 2014 (UTC) Before the season Schedule Miami Northern Illinois Eastern Michigan Bowling Green Central Michigan Kent State Western Michigan Navy Arkansas State Saban resignation
 * "By mid-December, the finalists for the Rockets' head coaching position was narrowed to Pete Cordelli (then the quarterback coach at Notre Dame) and Nick Saban (then the secondary coach for the Houston Oilers)." - the word was after position should be were to compliment finalists. Paraphrasing - The finalists were narrowed to...
 * "On December 22, 1989, Bohl announced the Saban..." - Bohl announced that Saban...
 * Shouldn't Toledo's schedule and results be cited here?
 * "Rusty Hanna then has his extra point attempt blocked..." - Hanna then had his extra...
 * "In the first home game of the 1990 season, Toledo defeated..." - Should be "In their first home game..." due the word's relationship to the group word "Toledo".
 * "The Hurons scored on an 85-yard Craig Thompson punt return and a 36-yard Jim Langeloh field goal;" - needing a comma after the word "return".
 * "In the third, Eastern cut the lead to 20–17..." - Eastern Michigan
 * "The Hurons did score once again late in the game..." - The Hurons scored once again (or more)...
 * "and the Rockets would come back to win 19–13." - Rockets came back...
 * "Points were scored in the third on a seven-yard Kevin Meger touchdown run and on a one-yard Troy Parker touchdown and Hanna field goal in the fourth." - Run on. Maybe start the sentence with "Points were scored in the third on a seven-yard touchdown by Kevin Meger and a one-yard Troy parker run. Hanna added a field goal in the fourth."
 * "At Mount Pleasant, the Rockets suffered their first loss of the season in their 13–12 defeat that did not feature a single touchdown." - Misleading. Maybe this is better? "At Mount Pleasant, the Rockets failed to score a touchdown and suffered a 13–12 defeat to the Chippewas, their first loss of the season."
 * "For his six tackle performance..." - Hyphenate "six tackle".
 * "A second, 35-yard field goal cut the Kent lead to 14–13,..." - Kent State
 * "Touchdowns wee scored by..." - wee = were
 * "...Rickey Isaiah for the Rockets and Dan Boggan scored..." - needs a comma after Rockets
 * Same thing after "a 14-yard Meger run"
 * Same thing after "on a 34-yard Rusty Hanna field goal in the first"
 * "Navy came back to with the game..." win the game
 * "In the second quarter Trotter scored on a two-yard run and Mabone on a one-yard run before a 38-yard Kevin Meger touchdown pass to Rickey Isaiah and 33-yard Rusty Hanna field goal gave the Rockets a 24–14 halftime lead." - Too much crammed into one sentence, maybe this sounds better? "In the second quarter, Trotter scored on a two-yard run and Mabone added another from the one yard line. Kevin Meger threw a 38-yard touchdown pass to Rickey Isaiah, and Rusty Hanna made a 33-yard field goal to give the Rockets a 24–14 halftime lead."
 * "The nine wins were the most won by a Toledo squad since the 1983 season." - win/won conflict - I think just removing the word won works, or include an addition word like "tallied".
 * "The reason his resignation came so long after the conclusion of the season was because Belichick did not work to assemble his staff until after he coached in Super Bowl XXV as defensive coordinator for the New York Giants." - another wordy sentence: "As defensive coordinator for the New York Giants, Belichick had to postpone assembling his new coaching staff until after Super Bowl XXV. Therefore, Saban's resignation wasn't announced until well after the season had ended."


 * About halfway done with the fixes so far. Will finish over the next couple days. Wizardman  02:33, 16 October 2014 (UTC)
 * Thank you for heads up, I have infinite patience due to being very busy this week. I have my own review fixes to make, as well as finishing another review I started. Neonblak talk  -  17:18, 16 October 2014 (UTC)
 * Issues now fixed. Only one I didn't modify was the schedule note; the scores and attendance is sourced in each section in the box, rather than above. Wizardman  15:05, 18 October 2014 (UTC)