Talk:2001 Australian Grand Prix/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: HawkAussie (talk · contribs) 01:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons&mdash;science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

So I will be happy to review this article about the 2001 Australian Grand Prix. HawkAussie (talk) 01:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

Lead

 * ...the 16th edition of the event as part of the series. - This isn't entirely clear on what series we are talking about here.
 * ...Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher from a pole position start. - Maybe you could change this to, Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher from pole position.
 * ...second, and the - We don't really need the comma here.
 * ...his fifth in row in Formula One - Forget the a between in and row
 * He maintained the lead at the start of the race and for the next four laps. - You could probably change this too: "He maintained the lead until lap five...
 * Following this, the first race of the season, Michael Schumacher... - You probably don't need "the first race of the season" as it was already mentioned in the first paragraph that it was the first race.

Background

 * ...round as part of the series. - Again I assume this is a part of the F1 World Championship.
 * Of the 11 teams and 22 drivers on the starting grid,... - You could actually drop the 11 teams part so it might go: From the 22 drivers on the starting grid,...
 * The third rookie driver in the 2001 driver line-up was... - This part of the sentence feels like it might not be needed, especially when you didn't mentioned the second driver in the previous sentence.
 * Many observers, including Jaguar's Eddie Irvine, Button and the president of the sport's... - I feel like this sentence might need a reference instead of being bare.
 * ...becoming illegal slick tyres albeit the FIA declined to enforce a regulation... - I feel like this section might be worth a comma just to take a breather before carrying on.

Practice

 * Barrichello was the fastest driver with a lap of 1 minute 29.056 seconds... - Change this to Rubens Barrichello and link it as it's the first one in the main section of the page.
 * Seven minutes into the session, Tarso Marques' engine failed and laid oil on the track. - Did this bring out any flags because I assume it would with laying oil out on the track.
 * Red flags were unfurled after 35 minutes when... - Maybe change this word to something that wouldn't need to check what it means.
 * I feel like the final paragraph is a bit too brief for the two practice sessions which was held on the Saturday.

Qualifying

 * Häkkinen had pole position early on albeit balance problems put him off the track at the bumpy turn one and he qualified third. - This section properly needs to be a bit clearer.
 * ...as his best lap was 1.846 seconds off Michael Schumacher's pace; - What about changing into with his best lap being 1.846 seconds off Michael Schumacher's pace;

Warm-up

 * Seems fine here

Race

 * ...128,500 spectators from 14:00 local time - Shouldn't be this "at 14:00 local time."
 * In the following sentence you could remove reference 43 from that sentence as it was already covered with reference 44.
 * ...predicted to affect the race. Analysis suggested a solitary pit stop... - In theory, you could combine these two sentences into one.
 * Button used the spare Benetton. His mechanics... - The Button sentence I feel seems a bit too short to have on it's own as it could be merged with the following sentence.
 * He lost several positions and almost made contact... - You have two sentences in a row which starts with "he". Just putting it out there.
 * ...turn two and pirouetted into a barrier to the... - You have pirouetted in this sentence which is fine until you realize that you had change that word to spin further up in the section. Consistency is all I can say here.
 * ...in his slipstream, and - You have a comma following the "and" in this part of the sentence so I assume you wanted to go ...in his slipstream and Ralf Schumacher...
 * ...detached from the car, and - Remove the comma here
 * ...and lung and liver lacerations - This is just a personal thought but two and's within three words of each other doesn't look right.
 * ...to move to 10th place on lap 17 - to move to tenth place on lap 17.
 * ...under braking for the end of the back... - under braking at the end of the back
 * ...now had a ten-second advantage... - now held a ten-second advantage instead of what it currently is.
 * ...increase his pace and became the fastest driver. - This bit is unclear.

Post-race

 * Out of respect Beveridge's death,... - It should be Out of respect for Beveridge's death

Death of Graham Beveridge and inquiries

 * Beveridge was survived by his wife and three adult children. - This sentence needs to be worded better as "survived" is the right word in this sentence.

Coronial inquest

 * Looks fine here

Doctor's inquest

 * Looks fine here

Final comments

 * So just do those final edits and this article will be good to go as an Good Article. HawkAussie (talk) 06:03, 11 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking the time to review the article. All of the necessary changes have been made. MWright96 (talk) 10:13, 11 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Checked through the edits and the edits are good enough. Well done on getting another GA. HawkAussie (talk) 10:26, 11 October 2019 (UTC)