Talk:2012 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 03:59, 2 February 2020 (UTC)

Wow, this has been there for a while. Also looks like a pretty long article. I'll highlight major issues below. epicgenius (talk) 03:59, 2 February 2020 (UTC)

Prose and coverage
Will check this on Monday.

Here are my initial comments.

Lead
 * with 30 of the race's 56 entries contesting the championship - Does "contesting" in this case mean competing?
 * In this case, yes it does mean competing? MWright96 (talk) 17:52, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * OK, that makes sense because in America "contesting" something would mean to lodge an objection against it. epicgenius (talk) 18:08, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Is there a wiki link to "test day"?
 * No. A wikilink for test day does not exist at present MWright96 (talk) 17:52, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * The car ran without trouble in the opening hours of the race until a Toyota TS030 Hybrid shared by Alexander Wurz, Kazuki Nakajima and Nicolas Lapierre overtook it for the lead that it relinquished during a safety car period for circuit personnel to tend to a major accident at the start of the sixth hour - this is a pretty long sentence. Any way to condense this?
 * Have reworded MWright96 (talk) 17:52, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Background
 * Looking at similar articles, e.g. the Good Articles 2014 24 Hours of Le Mans and 2013 24 Hours of Le Mans, the first sentence of the first paragraph may go into too much detail.
 * Have trimmed some excess detail and made it more compact MWright96 (talk) 17:52, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Regulation changes
 * With the introduction of hybrid electric vehicles for the first time at the 24 Hours of Le Mans, the ACO and the world governing body of motor racing - So hybrid electric vehicles were never used in previous 24 Hours of Le Mans races? Or was this the first time hybrid vehicles were allowed at any motor race, ever?
 * It means the 2012 24 Hours of Le Mans was the first time in the history of the race that hybrid electric cars drove in it MWright96 (talk) 17:52, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the explanation, that makes sense. epicgenius (talk) 18:19, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Automatic entries
 * in the both the American Le Mans Series and Le Mans Series. - typo
 * Fixed MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Peugeot Sport chose not to accept their automatic invitation as the manufacturer withdrew from sports car racing in January 2012 due to financial difficulties - Since this came after the announcement, I don't think "as the" (as in "as the manufacturer withdrew") is quite the right wording here.
 * Reworded MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Entry list
 * 56 car entry list and nine vehicle - Is it 56-car and nine-vehicle?
 * Yes MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Garage 56
 * So this refers to the 56th car on the entry list, if I'm reading this right.
 * That is correct MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * The extremely lightweight car features a unique layout that is far removed from the style of Le Mans Prototypes. - I don't doubt that it's unique, but "unique" is one of the MOS's words to watch, so I'd use it very carefully (or find another word).
 * Removed MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Two other entries had been granted reserve status if the DeltaWing team withdrew; - the semicolon at the end should probably be a colon.
 * Done MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Reserves
 * accumulating the necessary budget - as an American, "budget" sounds weird to me. Would this be the maintenance/operations fund, the entry fee, or something else?
 * It was the money need to run the team (i.e. hire staff such as mechanics and drivers) MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Testing and practice
 * Duval set the fastest time in the first session with a lap of 3 minutes and 27.738 seconds in the No. 3 Audi R18 Ultra,[20] but McNish improved to a lap of 3 minutes and 25.927 seconds in the No. 2 Audi R18 e-tron quattro though he crashed at Tertre Rouge corner with one hour remaining and was unable to continue.[21] - I get the feeling this is a run-on sentence.
 * Changed MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * with a 3 minutes and 39.669 seconds lap - is it "3-minute and 39.669-second"?
 * Only for the "minute" portion MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

More later. epicgenius (talk) 18:08, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the prompt replies. I will leave more comments when I get home in several hours. epicgenius (talk) 20:58, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Have a little more time to look at it now, so here goes. epicgenius (talk) 16:47, 5 February 2020 (UTC)

Qualifying
 * The first of three two hour qualifying sessions - this doesn't look right, did you mean "two-hour qualifying sessions"?
 * Yes. Have changed accordingly MWright96 (talk) 17:37, 5 February 2020 (UTC)
 * followed by Kristensen overtaking Jarvis - after the first few minutes?
 * Clarified MWright96 (talk) 17:37, 5 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Weather conditions continued to be clear for the second session on 14 June. - If I'm understanding this correctly, did this start in the early hours of 13 June and then continued for at least another day? Or did it start in the late hours of 13 June, and this was only several hours long? If it's the former, I'm not sure that the wording "continued to be clear" is right.
 * It began and ended in the evening of 14 June. MWright96 (talk) 17:37, 5 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Lotterer in the No. 1 R18 e-tron quattro set a new fastest lap of 3 minutes and 23.787 seconds thirteen minutes in - also a little confusing, I think you meant that the record occurred 13 minutes after the start of the third session.
 * Clarified MWright96 (talk) 17:37, 5 February 2020 (UTC)

Qualifying results
 * Nothing wrong here. Actually, this makes the previous section a lot clearer.

Warm-up
 * Jarvis' No. 4 Audi was fourth, the quickest Toyota was fifth after a time from Wurz and his teammate Sarrazin was sixth. - I don't quite understand this either. It's probably missing a comma somewhere, unless this is supposed to be a serial list, in which case the wording needs to be improved.
 * Have reworded MWright96 (talk) 17:37, 5 February 2020 (UTC)

More later. epicgenius (talk) 16:47, 5 February 2020 (UTC)

Start
 * The conditions on the grid were dry and sunny before the race with an air temperature between 10.5 to 21 °C (50.9 to 69.8 °F) and the track temperature ranged from 15.5 to 26 °C (59.9 to 78.8 °F) - the second half of the sentence doesn't sound right. I suggest you replace the track temperature ranged from with "a track temperature between", similar to the phrasing for air temperature.
 * Reworded MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Light rain fell on the north section of the track though it was not heavy enough to affect the race - I suggest replacing it was not heavy enough to affect the race with "it did not affect the race". I think readers can probably assume that light rain wasn't heavy, unless there is something I'm missing.
 * Changed the wording MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * The hour had the first retirement with the No. 29 Gulf Racing Middle East Lola sustaining a broken front-left wheel alignment from an accident leaving the Porsche Curves by Rostan as the No. 79 Flying Lizard of Pilet and later Spencer Pumpelly took a clear lead in LMGTE Am after the No. 99 Aston Martin of Simonsen developed a misfire - I am slightly confused, since there are no commas to set off the sentence.
 * Made the sentence into two MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * LMGTE Pro continued to be close battle - a close battle?
 * Yes, have now corrected MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * I just realized I never asked what lapping means. I might just be ignorant, or else this is a bit of jargon.
 * Added a wikilink to racing flags because that it is where it is mentioned MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * 26 minutes and 34 seconds pit stop - should be singular, e.g. "26-minute and 34-second"; or else have "pit stop of 26 minutes and 34 seconds"
 * Done the former MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)

Evening to night
 * Davidson was found to have fractured the T11 and T12 vertebrae - This is in passive voice, but in my opinion, it may be better in active voice.
 * Done MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Toyota lost its one remaining entry when the No. 7 car retired after 10½ hours with an engine failure - I don't have any problem with this, just noting how Toyota sucked badly in this race. Overall this section is very engaging to read.

Morning to early afternoon
 * when Makowiecki's Luxury Racing Ferrari picked up a right-rear puncture and forcing the team's mechanics to replace it. - "Picked up" and "forcing" are different verb forms. It should be either "picked up a right-rear puncture and forced the team's mechanics" or "picked up a right-rear puncture, forcing the team's mechanics".
 * Done MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * crashed heavily in the Porsche Curves and sending the car facing in the opposite direction - same issue as above, with "crashed" and "sending"
 * Reworded the entire sentence MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * fifth class victory, first class win - just a question. Is it a fifth instance of a "class victory"/"class win", or a victory in the "fifth class"? Same question with third class victory, etc.
 * Clarified MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)

Finish
 * the first hybrid electric vehicle to win the 24 Hour race,[5] and the first for a four-wheel drivetrain - this does not sound right either, because if you eliminate the first phrase, you have the [first for a four-wheel drivetrain] to win the 24 Hour race. I suggest "the first four-wheel drivetrain to do so" or something similar.
 * Shortened the entire sentence MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)

Post-race
 * We were not looking for an aggressive start and leading for 10 minutes.I know - This needs a space after a period, even in direct (verbal) quotes.
 * Done MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)

Championship standings after the race
 * All good.

These are all my prose comments for now. epicgenius (talk) 17:52, 16 February 2020 (UTC)

POV
Seems neutral to me.

Images

 * No problems here. All images are either from Flickr with appropriate license, are self published with appropriate license, or are flag icons. epicgenius (talk) 03:59, 2 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Been more than ten days since the last comments were posted? Anything else that will need to be addressed? MWright96 (talk) 14:15, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Sorry about that, I totally forgot about this review. Will post more comments today. epicgenius (talk) 16:53, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Have made further changes to the article. What else needs to be addressing? MWright96 (talk) 18:51, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * I will take a further look but it seems like this is ready for GA status. epicgenius (talk) 18:54, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * I didn't find any other problems. Congratulations, this is now a good article. I will be promoting this shortly. epicgenius (talk) 20:09, 16 February 2020 (UTC)