Talk:2012 Grand National/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 15:32, 19 July 2012 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this article. As it's one of my first GA reviews, I will be asking for a second opinion after we're done. I will post comments within 24 hours. —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 15:32, 19 July 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Lead
 * Try to take out the references from the lead and put them in the body of the article
 * Do we need reference 1? I don't really see why it's needed
 * "Neptune Collonges, ridden by Daryl Jacob, won the race, beating second-placed Sunnyhillboy in [...]" Remove second-placed
 * Add something about the safety changes in the lead
 * Can you add some about the race overview?
 * "grey horse" -> "grey horse"
 * For reference 3: "Telegraph" should be "The Daily Telegraph"


 * Safety changes
 * Why is "National Course" in italics?
 * "RSPCA" -> "Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals"
 * "4 ft 10 inches" -> "4 ft 10 in."


 * Race card
 * De-wikilink British Horseracing Authority. You already linked it once in the section before
 * Several references needed. Just some examples:
 * "Entries for the race had to be submitted by 31 January 2012."
 * "Synchronised was attempting to become the first horse since Golden Miller in 1934 to win both the Gold Cup and Grand National in the same year."
 * "Jockey Tony McCoy rode Synchronised and was aiming for his second Grand National success in 17 attempts."
 * "[...] and following the second round of scratchings on 20 March" Missing a period?
 * What does JF mean in the table?
 * Not necessary, but try and see if ref label would be better instead of an asterisk (referring to your note in the table)


 * Race overview
 * References needed, examples:
 * "The start of the race was delayed after Synchronised unseated his rider, Tony McCoy during the warm-up and got loose on the racecourse."
 * "there were further delays caused by overly-keen riders and horses breaching the starting tape twice."
 * "Jockeys, trainers, viewers and spectators waited for one-and-a-half minutes to hear the judge's official announcement [...]"
 * Delink "Becher's Brook"
 * Are there any free images of the race available?
 * Eventually is a bad word. Either take it out or say when
 * Charged seems a little POV
 * "Viking Blond became the race's first faller" How did he fall?
 * "His jockey Brian Hughes suffered a suspected broken cheekbone in the fall" Suspected? Either his cheekbone was broken or not
 * "[...], both 16/1 shots, [...]" seems jargony. Try rephrasing to something like "[...], both of which had odds of 16/1, [...]
 * "By the fourth, [...]" Fourth what?
 * "prominent position" prominent seems POV
 * "State of Play unseated his rider Noel Fehily and Chicago Grey and Rare Bob were brought down" -> "State of Play unseated his rider, Noel Fehily; Chicago Grey and Rare Bob were brought down"
 * Also, what do you mean by brought down?
 * "and a screen was soon erected around him" what do you mean by screen?
 * "Becher's Brook, the sixth obstacle, saw the well-backed Cheltenham Gold Cup winner Synchronised fall." -> "Becher's Brook, the sixth obstacle, saw the Synchronised fall." No need to hype the horses up again and again.
 * "McCoy suffered a soft-tissue injury but Synchronised" comma before but
 * "suffer serious injury, and he continued" probably be better with "suffer serious injury. He continued"


 * Reactions
 * Need references for every quotation
 * There are some jockey quotes that I think should be removed. For example, what is the significance of having "Tom Scudamore, whose mount Junior fell at the second fence, said: "It was brief, unfortunately.""?


 * Broadcasting
 * Refs needed. Examples:
 * "As the Grand National is accorded the status of an event of national interest in the United Kingdom and is listed on the Ofcom Code on Sports and Other Listed & Designated Events, it is always shown on free-to-air terrestrial television in the UK."
 * "The race was aired on BBC Radio for the 80th successive year"
 * Is there a need to have the entire quote box in bold?


 * Subsequent review
 * Ref needed for "have been neither "foreseen nor prevented"".


 * Other issues
 * Watch your POV. I see you've called something "famous" three times in the article. Also see "notable".

The main problem I see is a lack of references. Once that is fixed, this article will look great, and probably we GA-worthy. —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 19:05, 19 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Struck out comments that have been addressed. I've also added some edits to the article.

It has been a week hardly any progress has been made. The article is severely lacking references, and the prose can be improved. Thus, the article will be failed. I suggest either a peer review and maybe a copy edit. I also suggest reading WP:When to cite. If you disagree with my decision, there is WP:Good article reassessment. —Michael Jester (talk &#183; contribs) 23:52, 26 July 2012 (UTC)