Talk:2015 Italian Grand Prix/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Z105space (talk · contribs) 16:51, 15 December 2015 (UTC)

I shall review this article. Comments will appear soon. Z105space  (talk)  16:51, 15 December 2015 (UTC)

Lead

 * "after it was discovered one of the rear tyres of his Mercedes" - rewrite to "after it was discovered his left-rear tyre on his Mercedes"
 * ✅ with slight adjustments


 * Wikilink Pirelli in the third paragraph

Background

 * As with other F1 race reports at GA level, the championship standings heading into the race should be included.


 * Explain who Bernie Ecclestone is to the non-racing expert.

Free practice

 * "three practice sessions were held; there were two 1.5-hour sessions on Friday and another one-hour session before qualifying on Saturday." It would better read if 1.5-hour was replaced by 90-minute


 * Italicise The Guardian as it is a newspaper publication.


 * "Nico Rosberg, for whom it was the first race after the birth of his first child," I believe the mention of Rosberg's first race after the birth of his child is irrelevant to the article.


 * "Force India's" - Force India cars


 * "but he was able to continue after losing his car at the Ascari chicane." - the words "control" and "of" need to be added inbetween the words "losing" and "his"


 * Wikilink red flag to Racing flags#Red flag as the non-racing expert will not understand what it is

Qualifying

 * "penalized" - Re-word to penalised as F1 race reports should be written in British English


 * "is engine cover blown of at Curva Grande" There is a typo here as "of" should be spelt as "off"


 * "littering the track with debris," replace the word "littering" with "scattering"


 * "both Manor Marussias and both McLarens were eliminated." I feel this sentence should be written as "both Manor Marussia and McLaren cars were eliminated."
 * ✅ with "drivers" instead of "cars"

Race

 * De-link Marcus Ericcsson as he is already linked in the qualifying sub-section
 * ✅ Removed all repeat links (4 in total)


 * "which allowed the Mercedes to move in to less than three seconds behind the Ferrari." - Do you mean Rosberg moved within three seconds behind Vettel? Is so re-word the sentence as the wording is potentially confusing.

Post-race

 * "Red Bull's team principal" - Remove the "'s" in "Red Bull's".


 * "At the podium interview, conducted by director George Lucas," - the word "film" should be added after the word "director" for clarification.