Talk:2016 Spanish Grand Prix/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Z105space (talk · contribs) 18:52, 10 June 2016 (UTC)

I'll take on this review. What a historic day for all of motorsport. Z105space (talk) 18:52, 10 June 2016 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

General

 * One thing I keep noting in your articles is that you sometimes spell the drivers' full names out after the first instance. It's best to avoid this.
 * Hmm, I always try to keep the prose flowing, with full names often in new sections, to make it a little easier for readers who might not read the entire article... Zwerg Nase (talk) 19:25, 17 June 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * The first mention of team-mate should be unhyphened as is seen in the rest of the article for consistency.
 * "Max Verstappen won the race upon his debut for his new team Red Bull, having swapped his Toro Rosso seat with Daniil Kvyat ahead of the race." - try to avoid repetition of the word "race"; in the second instance it should be "event".
 * Both ✅

Free practice

 * "two ninety-minute practice sessions" -ninety-minute should be spelt in number form per MOS:NUMBERS for consistency with high-value numbers as is seen in the article.


 * "The Mercedes of Rosberg and Hamilton followed," - This may sound better: "Mercedes teammates Rosberg and Hamilton followed,"


 * "Force India's Sergio Pérez managed only nine laps as he spent much of the session in the pits after smoke emerged from the rear of his car." - pits is slang and should be avoided, pit lane is better.


 * "Upon beginning his preparation laps for qualifying, Rosberg had to come back into the pits," - ditto.

Qualifying

 * fifty-second should be spelt in number form.
 * According to MOS:NUMERAL, fifty-second is acceptable.


 * "The two Red Bulls - Red Bull cars

Race

 * "When Vettel pitted on lap 16," -pitted is slang, rewrite to "made a pit stop"


 * "he emerged third behind the two Red Bulls," - as in the qualifying section, change to "Red Bull cars"


 * "By lap twenty," - should be spelt in number form for consistency.