Talk:2017 New York City ePrix/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 20:50, 30 April 2018 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one, will post review soon. Kosack (talk) 20:50, 30 April 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * "a two-day crowd of 20,000 people", just to clarify is this referring to the combined crowd for both days?
 * Yes. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "There were the ninth and tenth races of the 2016–17 Formula E season", should it be they rather than there?
 * Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Is there a link that can be added for electrical energy? Seems like a term that could need clarifying for the uninitiated.
 * Added MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "until a safety car was necessitated for the Heidfeld's stricken car", needs rewording slightly I think. Either "for Heidfeld's stricken car", "the stricken Heidfeld's car" or another alternative.
 * The former has been chosen. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "Mahindra were still in third place", Mahindra remained in third place perhaps?
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Preparations

 * "a Central Park track would have required demolishing trees", can you demolish a tree?
 * I've written cutting down trees instead. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Practice and qualifying

 * "The damage however was not severe enough and was repaired", enough is a bit out of place here. It can be removed or expanded on e.g. "severe enough to rule him out"
 * Have expanded on the sentence. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "Engel was affected a problem", should that be affected by a problem?
 * Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Race

 * "hairpins where multiple cars made contact and emerged from the melee without bodywork damage", should that be but emerged...?
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "while Prost lost nine places over the same distance because of his car was damaged.", sentence needs tweaking, I'm guessing the of shouldn't be there?
 * Removed. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "Bird took the lead from Abt by aggressively turning to the inside of Abt at the turn five hairpin", possible repetition of Abt could replace the second use with him I think.
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Practice and qualifying

 * Dvual > Duval.
 * Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Race

 * "After starting ninth, Di Grassi", I notice di Grassi is normally used apart from this mention which uses a capital letter in the second paragraph?
 * Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 1 May 2018 (UTC)