Talk:2019 Boston Marathon/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 01:33, 12 April 2021 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this article in the coming days. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 01:33, 12 April 2021 (UTC)

I've left comments below - take what time you need to address them. Feel free to add "Done" after each suggestion to indicate that you've taken care of it. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 01:24, 13 April 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * In the infobox, add winning time to women's champion (only one missing the time)
 * Slight detail is given about the women's elite race, but no such detail is given about the men's elite race. I'd suggest adding just a sentence or so of detail to the elite men's race (whether it was a close race or a runaway) to match.
 * "The men and women's wheelchair races..." → switch "men" to "men's"
 * "The men and women's wheelchair races..." → switch "men" to "men's"
 * "The men and women's wheelchair races..." → switch "men" to "men's"

Course

 * World Athletics adopted that name in October 2019; at the time of this race it was still known as the "International Association of Athletics Federations" - this would match the initialism that accompanies it as well.
 * ✅ clarified
 * "...and passes through Boston College before entering Cleveland Circle then Kenmore Square where there are many spectators." → sounds like a little punctuation is missing and the wording is off; maybe switch "then" to "and" and add a comma after "Kenmore Square"

Field

 * "...Des Linden, but she had the ninth fastest personal best in the field." → use of "but" here doesn't read well, is this implying that one wouldn't expect a former champion's PB to be ninth-fastest? Also, add hyphen for "ninth-fastest".
 * add comma after "Aselefech Mergia"
 * remove comma after "Caroline Rotich"
 * In the "five men to watch", wording needs to be adjusted when referring to PBs. Something like "...Soloman Deksisa, who had a personal best of 2:04:40" or "...whose personal best was 2:04:40".
 * ✅ I placed some in parentheses. I didn't want the list to drag on by using lots of words for each athlete. I hope this is fine.
 * Source for "first women to record a sub-1:30"
 * It's included in the source at the end of the next sentence, "becoming the first woman to dip under the 1:30 barrier in Boston".
 * "the winners of the previous year" → "the winners of the previous year 's race "
 * Source for "first women to record a sub-1:30"
 * It's included in the source at the end of the next sentence, "becoming the first woman to dip under the 1:30 barrier in Boston".
 * "the winners of the previous year" → "the winners of the previous year 's race "

Race summary

 * "a series of sub-5 minutes miles" → "minutes" should be singular
 * "with 1-mile to go" and "Then with 1-kilometre" → remove hyphen and spell out "one"
 * ❌ this is how it is formatted in undefined undefined so I'm presuming it's fine how it is. Also, there's no way I can change the distance from number to word format in the template.
 * I think the hyphens can be fixed by removing the  parameter from convert. Numbers are fine.  PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 17:19, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Thanks, Willbb234Talk (please &#123;&#123;ping&#125;&#125; me in replies) 17:38, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
 * "passing 5 kilometres in a slow time of 17:34" → use of the word "slow" here seems subjective - 5 km in 17:34 could be very fast to some, so I'd qualify this or drop it
 * ✅ I placed it in quote marks as this is how the source describes it.
 * sentence about weather seems out of place; put that alone at the beginning as it applies to all races.
 * ✅. I was unsure as well on this one. The weather applies much more to the wheelchair athletes as it does to the runners. In the sources, the details on weather are only in the sources on the wheelchair athletes and not in the sources on the runners. I moved it nonetheless.
 * "20-years-old" → "20 years old"
 * source for first American since Knaub in 1993.
 * comma after "2:54 behind in 1:24:30"
 * ✅ fixed
 * remove commas before and after "when she slipped on a railroad track"
 * comma after "2:54 behind in 1:24:30"
 * ✅ fixed
 * remove commas before and after "when she slipped on a railroad track"

Overall assessment
thanks very much for the thorough review. I believe I've addressed all the issues that you mentioned. If you have any problems or questions please let me know. Kind regards, Willbb234Talk (please &#123;&#123;ping&#125;&#125; me in replies) 16:40, 13 April 2021 (UTC)

All of my concerns are satisfied, happy to pass. Well done! On to review the Chicago Marathon article now! PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 23:15, 13 April 2021 (UTC)