Talk:44 Bulldog/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:55, 21 March 2021 (UTC)

I will start this review later today! --K. Peake 17:55, 21 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * Remove the exact release date of the album and the mention of the record labels; merely add (2020) in brackets after the title instead
 * "who's real names" → "whose real names"
 * To avoid the first para being too short, move the opening sentence of the second para to being its last sentence
 * ""44 Bulldog" was originally supposed to go" → "It was originally supposed to be released"
 * "Pop Smoke's second mixtape" → "Pop Smoke's second mixtape,"
 * Pipe hard drive to Hard disk drive
 * The drill sentence should come before the lyrics one
 * "The lyrics are about" → "The lyrics see"
 * Remove "enigmatic" and "singed", as these words being used is too much detail for the lead
 * Pipe synth to Synthesizer
 * "music critics described the song" → "music critics described "44 Bulldog"" with the pipe
 * "Pop Smoke's more darker tracks." → "Pop Smoke's darker tracks."
 * Add info about the chart performance to the lead

Background

 * "early in his career. The rapper got" → "early in his career, having acquired"
 * Pipe snares to Snare drum
 * Wikilink hi-hats
 * Pipe kicks to Kick drum
 * "was a lost record." → "was "the lost record"." per the source
 * "to go on Meet the Woo 2," → "to be released on the mixtape,"
 * Pipe hard drive to Hard disk drive
 * "They later got all those things fixed," → "They later got all the complications fixed,"
 * "no session for it." → "no session for the song."
 * "They all tried to" → "All of them tried to" to avoid overusing "they" at the start of sentences
 * mp3 → MP3, with the wikilink (sources don't always use correct stylization)
 * "who's real names are" → "whose real names are"

Music and lyrics

 * Remove speech mark at the end of the opening sentence
 * Pipe synth to Synthesizer
 * "commented the interpolates" → "The song interpolates" with the pipe, as interpolation is not a matter of opinion
 * Move the part about Hannah Giorgis commenting to being after the connective in this sentence
 * Pipe single to Single (music)
 * Wikilink John Carpenter
 * "saying it has" → "saying the song has"
 * Introduce Aron A. as being from HotNewHipHop, plus cut down on the amount quoted directly from him per WP:QUOTEFARM
 * "stated that Pop Smoke" → "stated that the rapper" to avoid overusage of his name

Release and reception

 * Introduce Rob Harvilla as being of The Ringer
 * "Los Angeles Timess August Brown" → "The Los Angeles Times August Brown"
 * "regarded it as one of Pop Smoke's" sharpest" → "regarded the song as Pop Smoke's "sharpest"
 * Geographical order should be used for charts, so place Australia before France and use a comma for separation of the last two positions

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 19:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot for the comments Kyle Peake! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 21:25, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Kudos to you for the quick response, but you still need to fix certain issues:

After these are covered, this should be good to go! --K. Peake 21:56, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove the referencing of the record labels in the opening sentence
 * Change the ""44 Bulldog" was originally supposed to go" part accordingly (see earlier for this and other comments below)
 * Change the "no session for it" part accordingly
 * Kyle Peake Shit. Fixed them. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 22:48, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, nest job but remember to check everything is done before ticking off! --K. Peake 06:17, 22 March 2021 (UTC)