Talk:6th Airborne Division advance to the River Seine/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 21:08, 14 November 2011 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Something like "The lead battalions advanced under heavy mortar and machine gun fire until stopped by a strong..." would be better, but that's the kind of thing that I'm looking at. Read through your text carefully and weed out similar occurrences.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:16, 22 November 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * Things are a little confusing as you often talk in the future tense of objectives and then detail the attack. It might be worthwhile to rephrase these as were ordered to attack x and reached .... I think you mean "En route" here: On route
 * Changed
 * This is worse: The lead battalions overcoming mortar and machine gun fire to continue the advance. Which was stopped by a strong defensive position at Cabourg.
 * At Jim's request, I've been through the article and made some changes for prose coherence and consistency (I wasn't the original copyeditor for this article). Please take a look and see what you think. --Demiurge1000 (talk) 19:09, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * What do you mean "scales of transport"? Rephrase. Link to 1st and 4th SS Brigades. When naming battalions of a regiment you should separate the battalion from its regiment with a comma. Forex: 1st Battalion, Royal Ulster Rifles. What do you mean: the heavier Belgian and Dutch brigades? Heavier meaning more powerful?
 * Scales of transport rephrased. 1st and 4th SS Brigades are linked on first mention in the background section, I have made it a bit clearer there. All examples of 1st Battalion, Royal Ulster Rifles etc comma added. Changed wording for the heavier Belgian and Dutch brigades as it is confusing they had heavier equipment but only the strength of a battalion in real terms so left it out.
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * First of all thanks for the review, all done I believe. Jim Sweeney (talk) 09:43, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * First of all thanks for the review, all done I believe. Jim Sweeney (talk) 09:43, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * First of all thanks for the review, all done I believe. Jim Sweeney (talk) 09:43, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * First of all thanks for the review, all done I believe. Jim Sweeney (talk) 09:43, 15 November 2011 (UTC)