Talk:A. A. Adams/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammielh (talk · contribs) 14:27, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll pick up this review. Comments below. Sammielh (talk) 14:27, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * I would be inclined to expand the lead slightly – perhaps add in his political party and a sentence about his chiropractic career
 * The references shouldn't be needed in the lead
 * I don't see where the body specifically says that he supported gun control; you might need to amend the dangerous weapons section to make this clearer
 * There seems to be some confusion in the infobox on his districts – per source [1], he represented the 26th district from 1969 to 1973, alongside Thomas A. Swayze Jr., preceded by Homer Humiston and succeeded by Clifford W. Beck; he represented the 27th district from 1973 to 1981, alongside R. Lorraine Wojahn and James E. Salatino, preceded by Frank Marzano and succeeded by Art Wang

Early life, career, personal life

 * WP:GEOCOMMA is missing after Washington in Bellingham, Washington,
 * (Optional) Might be worth putting that Palmer College is in Davenport, Iowa as I assumed it would be in Washington
 * I can't see where the source gives his full date of birth
 * I would be inclined to specify he moved to Tacoma, Washington,
 * This isn't a requirement for GA but as a note, there appears to be some details in the sources which might be beneficial in the article: source [4] indicates that he graduated from university in 1924 and gives more detail about his service with the Washington Chiropractors Association (check spelling in the article)
 * I would make the entire chiropractic section one paragraph, it breaks strangely in two paragraphs
 * Link Democrat
 * I believe all of the election results (e.g. 52-48) should have an en dash instead of a hyphen
 * Is there any detail about why the dangerous weapons bill was originally contested?
 * There should be a comma after "In 1972"
 * I would link redistricting
 * I don't see where the sources specifically say that he moved to the 27th district because of redistricting
 * "he won election his fifth term"
 * I would avoid starting three paragraphs with "In [year]"
 * "He supported decriminalization again" I would specify of marijuana
 * Marijuana legalization is linked in the lead but not the body
 * There is discrepancy between cosponsor and co-sponsor
 * I don't see where the source says that the state lottery bill did not pass
 * I would avoid using GOP in the last paragraph of career as this may not be a term understood by international readers without any explanation
 * Capitalise Republican
 * "Mildred S. Adams (18991993)"
 * The personal life section doesn't flow very well but I'm not sure how well that can be amended
 * Is there a reason only one election is in the electoral history section?

General

 * Earwig came back clear and I wasn't able to find any close paraphrasing or source issues other than that noted above from spot checks
 * There are no image issues although I would change the link on the Commons page to point to the image itself

ThadeusOfNazereth comments

 * Logging that I have seen this and will try and get these implemented this week, but I'm in the middle of a major cross-country move so it might be later. Thank you for the detailed feedback! ThadeusOfNazereth(he/him)Talk to Me! 15:55, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you again! I believe I've implemented all of those fixes. On the personal life section, I agree that it doesn't flow well but I also agree that there's nothing really to be done about it. I tried to keep it to only the most relevant items. On the electoral history point, I included the first election because it seemed the most notable. The problem with those boxes is that they stack on top of each other, so if I were to include all of them the page would get really long vertically. ThadeusOfNazereth(he/him)Talk to Me! 02:14, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * This looks good. I've made one small edit to the article but otherwise I'm happy to promote this to GA. Good work on this article! Sammielh (talk) 11:13, 4 August 2023 (UTC)