Talk:A Black Mile to the Surface/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

I will take this on soon, after your great review of "Welcome to Heartbreak"! --K. Peake 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
 * Remove the plural of studio from any in the parameter since that is not supposed to be added in infobox
 * Remove wikilink on Favorite Gentlemen
 * Remove wikilink on studio album because it's too obvious
 * "released on July 27, 2017," → "released on July 21, 2017,"
 * "beginning in the summer of 2016" → "from the summer of 2016 onwards"
 * "The lead-off single," → "The lead single," with the wikilink
 * Target singles to Single (music)
 * "and "The Moth," were released ahead..." → "and "The Moth", were released later in the summer." because the commercial info doesn't belong here
 * Remove the introductions to who Andy Hull and Robert McDowell are because you've done that in the body
 * "that was far different from previous releases" → "that was a reset from the band's previous studio albums," plus mention the two were from 2014
 * "The resulting album is" → "A Black Mile to the Surface is" because the link is not directly sourced
 * Remove the term "influenced", as those are directly sourced as genres
 * Add a sentence about the album's critical reception, followed by one about the commercial side
 * ✅ all of the above.  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Background and production
✅ all of the above  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "of those two albums," → "of the two albums,"
 * "inspired the band's" → "inspired Manchester Orchestra's"
 * Add a bit more from the reset para that is quoted, but not too much to avoid WP:OVERQUOTE
 * Punctuation should not be inside the speech marks for the song titles
 * "actually commit to it.'"" → "actually commit to it'"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "over a period of" → "over periods of" for accurate representation
 * "Hull says that" → "Hull said that"
 * ""one final push" that perfected" → ""one [final] push" for" per parphrasing of "one more push"
 * "Manchester Orchestra recorded the album" → "Manchester Orchestra recorded A Black Mile to the Surface"
 * "indie rock producers,"" → "indie rock producers"," with the wikilink
 * "Marks describes the" → "Marks described the"
 * "The band traveled to" → "Manchester Orchestra traveled to"
 * "at home in" → "at their headquarters in"

Themes and composition

 * Retitle to Composition and themes per order
 * The alternative rock genre is not backed up, per the source: "For a band as consistent in the alt-rock realm as Manchester Orchestra, a reinvention like this can be a gamble." The quote only calls the band alt-rock.
 * PopMatters filed it under both indie and alternative rock, so I used that source for both
 * [15][14] only the latter should be kept here since [15] is invoked later in the sentence too, plus [14] should only be here rather than earlier as well  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * [15][16] the latter should not be here because it's at the end of the sentence  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove Pixies because the AllMusic source says the one song sound like them is the exception
 * [17][16] put in numerical order
 * The town being home of DUNE is not sourced
 * Removed the DUNE, left in SURF, which is mentioned by the source
 * Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
 * "the first four tracks on the album "set a" → "the first four tracks set "a"
 * "dark theme," the narrative part of the record" → "dark theme", the narrative part of A Black Mile to the Surface" per MOS:QUOTE
 * ""try and do" → ""[t]ry and do" per the original's capitalisation
 * "want to play."" → "want to play"."
 * "Marks' vision for the record" → "Marks' vision for the album"
 * "different rooms of the studio" → "different rooms of the studios"
 * The acoustic effects part is unsourced
 * Changed it to "reverberations", per the source.
 * "Penultimate track "The Parts,"" → "The penultimate track ,"The Parts","
 * "in the studio's bathtub," → "in a studio's bathtub," per it not being known which studio
 * "of the album is" → "of A Black Mile to the Surface is
 * "insignificance of yourself."" → "insignificance of yourself"."
 * "means that "[w]hen this" → "means: "When this"
 * "The album's title, "A Black Mile to the Surface," derives" → "The title of the album derives" per the title already being mentioned in this para
 * Wikilink "The Gold"
 * ✅ all of the above.  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Release and promotion

 * Concord Music Hall is not mentioned anywhere in this section, so either add a mention of it or reword the img text
 * "by the album's first single," → "by the album's lead single," with the wikilink
 * Remove wikilink on "The Gold"
 * Pipe single to Single (music)
 * Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
 * "was released two weeks later" → "was released 13 days later" per the source
 * "on July 10." → "on July 10, 2017."
 * "on July 21, 2017 through" → "on July 21, 2017, through"
 * Remove comma after independent label
 * "On June 12, only a few days after announcing their upcoming album," → "On June 12, 2017, only a few days after the album's announcement,"
 * Lowercase the Front Bottoms per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Mean Everything To Nothing." → "to celebrate Manchester Orchestra's 10th anniversary of Mean Everything to Nothing." per MOS:NUM
 * "Black Mile chapter."" → "Black Mile chapter"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * ✅ all of the above.  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * Swap this sub-section with critical reception for the correct order
 * "for the band." → "for Manchester Orchestra."
 * "It debuted the album at #33 on the main" → "It debuted at number 33 on the US" but this sentence and the others are not backed up by the Billboard ref
 * "also entered the Billboard Alternative Albums chart at number six," → "also entered at number six on the Billboard Alternative Albums chart,"
 * "the Billboard Rock Albums chart at number seven" → "at number seven on the Billboard Rock Albums chart"
 * Don't think the slight drop in success is really notable
 * "peaked at #59 on" → "peaked at number 59 on"
 * "#73 on the" → "number 73 on the"
 * "and #93 on the United Kingdom charts." → "and number 93 on the United Kingdom chart."
 * The above chart positions are not backed up; try to add ref names from the table to fix this
 * ✅ rewrote the section a bit.  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Italicise The A.V. Club, Pitchfork and PopMatters
 * "was released to generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
 * Remove the indication part since you have already mentioned the reviews being generally positive
 * "wrote that the band" → "wrote that Manchester Orchestra"
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember that these do not apply to full sentences though
 * Only saw one I had to change.
 * Wikilink acoustic guitars
 * "... inviting comparisons" → "[...] inviting comparisons"
 * Target samples to Sampling (music)
 * ✅ all of the above.  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Add a source to verify this is the track listing
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Personnel

 * Pipe mastering to Mastering (audio)
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed, but don't feel afraid to ask me if you are confused about anything! --K. Peake 10:51, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I think everything has been addressed! If you've got a moment, I'd be very appreciative if you reviewed Painting of a Panic Attack, but no worries if not!  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * You have missed a number of MOS:QUOTE issues; to be specific, this refers to when a full sentence is not quoted and the punctuation is inside the speech marks, so examples where the end of the sentence is a quote like PopMatters need to be fixed. --K. Peake 19:04, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Those should also be fixed now. Apologies.  Kncny11  (shoot) 19:12, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * There are still a number of points where you have placed commas inside speech marks. --K. Peake 19:50, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Everything should be fixed now.  Kncny11  (shoot) 19:57, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, congrats to your efforts even after I had to leave a few comments and do some copy editing after your initial response! --K. Peake 20:41, 16 March 2021 (UTC)