Talk:A Fish Called Selma/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''


 * Comments from Sillyfolkboy:
 * Personally I think the lead could be improved. Straight off I would say that "Barth wrote the episode" and Mark Kirkland directed"
 * The lead would read better if there was a clearer distinction between plot/production/reception. Perhaps another sentence describing the plot would help. Also, try to squeeze in the reason for the episode title (Fish called Wanda) and the EW eighth of top 25 info. Sillyfolkboy (talk) 14:51, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Gary King
The article is decent, but the prose really needs some more work. The following are just examples, showing that more work needs to be done with regards to the prose.


 * "Freelance writer Jack Barth wrote while the episode was directed by Mark Kirkland." – "Freelance writer Jack Barth wrote the episode, and Mark Kirkland directed it."
 * "The episode has received many generally positive reviews"
 * ", with much praise being given to Hartman and the musical." – "; particular praise was given to Hartman and the musical."
 * "she will let lets him"
 * "concerning fish having had essentially destroyed Troy's career"

Again, the above are just examples, showing the article needs more work in general, and a fresh copyedit. Gary King ( talk ) 17:13, 12 February 2009 (UTC)


 * I'll see what I can do... Gran2 17:20, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Do you have any more specific examples? I asked Theleftorium to copyedit it and he said he couldn't find any problems. Gran2 15:42, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

I still feel that it doesn't flow that well.


 * The first paragraph of the lead should be longer. Add some production information there. It's only two sentences long right now.
 * "were big fans of"
 * "room; this included the" – "room, including the"
 * "Due to the slow pace of Troy and Selma's speech, the episode ran too long. Guest star Jeff Goldblum had to rerecord his dialogue as MacArthur Parker at a faster speed." – "The episode ran too long because of the slow pace of Troy and Selma's speech. Consequently, guest star Jeff Goldblum rerecorded his dialogue as MacArthur Parker at a faster speed."
 * "reviews; particular praise was given" – "reviews, with particular praise given"

So mainly, the flow needs to be better between related sentences. Use more transition words. Gary King ( talk ) 16:12, 16 February 2009 (UTC)


 * The article is good enough now, passing. Gary King  ( talk ) 17:45, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Gran2 17:49, 23 February 2009 (UTC)