Talk:Abdul Hamid (soldier)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 21:29, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

Criteria
 Good Article Status - Review Criteria   		A good article is&mdash;  :
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 * (b).

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 * (c) ; and
 * (d).

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 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

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 * (a) ; and
 * (b).



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Discussion
Please add any related discussion here.
 * What type, make and/or model, of RCLR was Hamid using? Was it vehicle mounted? Gog the Mild (talk) 09:46, 5 March 2018 (UTC)
 * I couldn't find any sources that mention make/model. Yes, it was a vehicle-mounted gun, mentioned that. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 17:40, 12 March 2018 (UTC)

Some prose points:
 * "As a prelude to Operation Gibraltar, Pakistan attempted..." could leave readers a little puzzled. How about "As a prelude to Operation Gibraltar, Pakistan's strategy to infiltrate Jammu and Kashmir, and start a rebellion against Indian rule, Pakistani forces attempted..."?
 * "From 5 to 10 August 1965, Indian troops uncovered a mass infiltration. From captured documents and prisoners, Pakistan's plans to capture Kashmir with a guerrilla attack were brought to light..." Two consecutive sentences start with "From". Possibly change the second to "Captured documents and prisoners revealed Pakistan's plans to capture Kashmir with a guerrilla attack..."?
 * "east of Ichogil Canal". Should be "the Ichogil Canal".
 * "and dug 3-foot (0.91 m) trenches by dawn." Should be "and had dug".
 * "Hamid led the RCLR detachment of his battalion". At some point you need to explain to the readers just what a RCLR is. Also, on first mention it should be named in full.
 * Done all the above. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 17:40, 12 March 2018 (UTC)


 * "and Pakistani soldiers in the two following tanks fled"; "the Pakistani soldiers in the following tanks again fled". The word "in" is used. Does this mean that the Pakistani crews abandoned their tanks?
 * Yes, they fled. --Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 17:44, 12 March 2018 (UTC)


 * "By the end of the day, an engineering company laid anti-personnel..." Should be "had laid".
 * "They were attacked by Pakistani..." Could we specify "They"? Possibly "The battalion was..."?
 * "The Pakistanis made armoured attacks at 9:30 and 11:30 am and 2:30 pm." Should be "...at 9:30, 11:30 am and 2:30 pm."
 * "The first wave of three tanks, one leading and the other two following at a 200-yard (180 m) distance, arrived on 10 September at about 8:00 am." Change to "On 10 September at about 8:00 am the first wave of three tanks, one leading and the other two following at a 200-yard (180 m) distance, arrived."
 * "retired Indian Army general Ian Cardozo said that the award citation". I think that "retired Indian Army general Ian Cardozo has written that the award citation" would be more accurate.
 * Done all the above. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 17:44, 12 March 2018 (UTC)

Otherwise the prose is looking good. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:05, 6 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Thank you.
 * This seems light on images. Is there not something generic which could be added? Eg a picture of a Patton tank? A map showing the location of the action would also be helpful. Is it possible to include an image of the commemorative stamp?
 * No citation links to reference Rawat; is this deliberate? Gog the Mild (talk) 18:57, 12 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Hi, thanks for the review. I've addressed your comments above, please have a look at the article. Please elaborate your last point. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 17:52, 14 March 2018 (UTC)


 * That is just enough to satisfy the image criterion. In case you do want to add a Patton tank there is a nice picture here https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Destroyed_Patton_Tank_(1965_Indo-Pak_War).jpg, or pictures here https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=Pakistani+tank&title=Special:Search&go=Go&searchToken=dgrtkjxr92b3czr7ypomy0c3i.


 * Your 5th "reference", which is The Brave: Param Vir Chakra Stories, by Rawat, does not have any citations in the articles referring to it. So you need to either put in a new cite linking to it, or move it to the "further reading" section. Hopefully that is clearer. If not, let me know. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:39, 14 March 2018 (UTC)
 * I didn't not use the first image because it doesn't seem to be original (125 KB file), no source information. Fixed the reference issue. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk &bull;&#32;mail) 03:13, 15 March 2018 (UTC)


 * The images now look very classy. However, your second map, Jammu and Kashmir, isn't set up correctly. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:49, 15 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Personally I preferred the 'multi-choice' map you had before. You may want to consider reinstating it, either with the Jammu and Kashmir map fixed, or simply deleted. Be that as it may, it is certainly now up to B class. Good job. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:06, 21 March 2018 (UTC)

Additional notes
Gog the Mild (talk) 21:29, 4 March 2018 (UTC)