Talk:Abraham Lincoln/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

I will be reviewing this article. Please allow me a while to gather my thoughts. I am a slow reader and this is a long and detailed article.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 19:52, 7 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Tony, I approached the nominator about a GA review for this article in this thread here a few days ago, noting there are large sections of uncited material in the article. I was encouraging the nominator to de-nominate when the only step to take was to quick fail. Now it's your call. --Moni3 (talk) 19:59, 7 September 2009 (UTC)


 * I would like to help improve the article and I am going to add comments. When I go through the checklist, I will look at the citations as a part of that process. I will require citations for promotion, but am commenting on other issues.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 21:09, 7 September 2009 (UTC)


 * first set of comments
 * I see you mention he served in the Illinois House of Representatives in the WP:LEAD, but not in the infobox. Can you add his service to the infobox.
 * It also seems that later you establish Lincolns rank in the militia but do not include it in the infobox.
 * "Thomas Lincoln, Abraham's father" and later "Lincoln's father, Thomas Lincoln" seems excessive since you already established one paragraph earlier who his father was. Just use his name.
 * Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * public land[9] and several later instances - refs should follow punctuation so move it somewhere else in the text.
 * Fixed #9


 * "desolate and especially brutal" seems overly wordy and could just be replaced by harsh without loss of meaning to the reader.
 * Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * The "Marriage and family" subsection should be put in chronological order.
 * Black Hawk War should be linked in its first instance in the text.
 * Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * he won an election to the state legislature - say which house and link it on its first instance.
 * four successive terms - say which years he served and include this in the infobox
 * Mexican–American War should appear in the text so the reader is not wondering and forced to click through.
 * Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * "Lincoln was still the only President of the United States to hold a patent", Chronologically, he has not yet become President at this point in the article so it should say something like "Lincoln would be the only President of the United States to hold a patent".
 * "Lincoln is still the only person to both hold a patent and serve as President of the United States" Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Why is the 1860 Republican National Convention not mentioned? It was a complicated multiple ballot election. You need to expand the "1860 Presidential election" to include a paragraph about this.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 21:09, 7 September 2009 (UTC)
 * It had a paragraph on why he was chosen, just not that he was chosen. I added a couple of sentences about the stuff you mentioned. Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
 * You did not add any citation for the new content.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 01:48, 12 September 2009 (UTC)


 * second set of comments
 * What does "first major sectional party" and "politics became the stage on which sectional tensions" mean? Is there a link for the term sectional (if it is a real term)?
 * Sectionalism is a major theme in American politics, and is now linked Purplebackpack89 (talk) 06:52, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * "President-elect Lincoln evaded possible assassins in Baltimore, and on February 23, 1861, arrived in disguise in Washington, D.C." is a one sentence paragraph in need of either being merged or expanded. It also needs a citation as do each of the subsequent paragraphs.
 * "frustration for the president, and occupied nearly all of his time" should be conjoined without the comma.


 * I don't like the passive voice in consecutive sentences "After Burnside was stunningly defeated at Fredericksburg, Joseph Hooker was given the command, despite his idle talk about the necessity for a military dictator to win the war and a past history of criticizing his commanders.[47] Hooker was routed by Lee at the Battle of Chancellorsville (May 1863), and relieved of command early in the subsequent Gettysburg Campaign replaced by George Meade."


 * "At first Lincoln was reluctant" s/b "At first, Lincoln was reluctant"
 * "Fondly do we hope..." seems to be a speach that should be offset or italicized or otherwise indicated to be so.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 17:27, 10 September 2009 (UTC)


 * third set of comments
 * "Lincoln declared the final Thursday in November to be a day of Thanksgiving, and the holiday has been celebrated annually at that time ever since." at some point it was changed to the fourth Thursday, which 2 out of 7 times is not the last.
 * Can you add some links to "round-slug 0.44 caliber Deringer"
 * Why does the adjacent caption say "the casket of his son, William" and the text mentions nothing about this?
 * At one point you say "Lincoln believed in the Whig theory of the presidency" and later you say "Lincoln was a strong supporter of the American Whig version of liberal capitalism". I don't know what this means and neither will anyone but 19th century political historians.
 * "who, more than most politicians of the time, was able to express his ideas within the context of Nineteenth Century religious beliefs." seem to be poorly constructed.
 * can you link of explain "doctrine of necessity"
 * link the first instance of William Wallace Lincoln rather than a later one.
 * update "upcoming 200th birthday in February 2009" and mention Inauguration of Barack Obama, which was Linoln-themed.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:05, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * General
 * Numerous refs have spaces before them. Citations should immediately follow a punctuation mark or the preceding citation.
 * Inline citations are needed in each paragraph.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:05, 11 September 2009 (UTC)

I have now finished my basic review of the text. I will soon go through the images and then do a review of the WP:WIAGA criteria. If you would like to start working on the concerns outlined above, please comment below each line of my concern your action. I will strike through resolved issues or comment further.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:05, 11 September 2009 (UTC)


 * I have only found one problematic image: File:Mary Todd Lincoln.jpg does not have any licensing information.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 02:03, 12 September 2009 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * Which one? Purplebackpack89 (talk) 19:02, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * See comment above. (The last one before this checklist).--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 20:30, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * Which one? Purplebackpack89 (talk) 19:02, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * See comment above. (The last one before this checklist).--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 20:30, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Which one? Purplebackpack89 (talk) 19:02, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * See comment above. (The last one before this checklist).--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 20:30, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * See comment above. (The last one before this checklist).--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 20:30, 12 September 2009 (UTC)


 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * —Preceding unsigned comment added by TonyTheTiger (talk • contribs) 18:22, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * —Preceding unsigned comment added by TonyTheTiger (talk • contribs) 18:22, 12 September 2009 (UTC)


 * It seems that the article has gone a week without any progress. I will check back in a few days to make my evaluation of this review.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 16:15, 19 September 2009 (UTC)
 * It seems that this nomination has been abandoned. I am failing this nomination.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 02:17, 23 September 2009 (UTC)