Talk:Adult FriendFinder/Archive 1

=2006=

Why would women post profiles there?
I’m not a statistician or a scientist. I’m just a carpenter. However i suspect that a statistical analysis of census data for a given state or region and male/female member ratios (over time) might indicate some trends (contrary to real life, supply will equal demand).

However a more common sense question might be, why would these incredibly attractive women post profiles, in the first place. If they want to meet men for casual sex they would only need to go grocery shopping, or any other public place, there are plenty of options. If they wanted to be discovered by talent scouts there are better ways, i'm sure. As private dancers/escorts AFF might be an option, but is this their real picture, one would well ask. Again you might well ask yourself ,are there really women out there that look like this that want to date me. In my case the answer is yes, but i met them by chance, i certainly did not meet them online.

-Mick
 * One answer to Mick's question (why would attractive women post profiles for sex) is that it's convenient, and there's no shy pretense that this isn't what it's all about (maybe the cute guy at the bar is actually looking for a wife, not a lay, and so on). If a woman is lonely and horny, a site like this or Yahoo Personals or whatever can take care of that problem in under 1 hour. I know, having been such a need-filler for such a woman, via such a mechanism in such a timeframe. 68.35.36.43 (talk) 01:47, 25 July 2011 (UTC)

jocpoc

 * Several other "Friend finders", such as Private's jocpoc are in fact the same as AFF.

What does this line mean? I can't find any reference anywhere to a "jocpoc" dating service. -- Calion | Talk 19:36, 23 March 2006 (UTC)

...........edit.....................

If the gender ratios, which everyone agrees are correct, are in your favor..why not take a chance? The term "joc-poc" is not well defined, but, indiscriminate gay men (and other msm) might well consider their options.

This is just one uninformed opinion.

-Mick

...........edit.....................


 * I agree, AFF is bogus.--85.144.133.46 23:18, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

Fake profiles
I would strongly advise anyone considering paying for membership to reconsider. Many of the profiles on the site are out of date with people having not visited for months. I started to get more and more suspicous about how many of the profiles were real people and started comparing different profiles. Certain sentences and phrases started to appear in many profiles. In fact many of the profiles contain the same information but in a different order. Phrases such as 'I'm a god fearing women' appear a lot, and you have to ask realistically how many 'god fearing' women would be advertising themselves on a website for sex?! Of the 5 emails I received in my month as a member 4 of the profiles were supposedly suspended by AFF for misuse and the other one was asking me to send money to an address. Its my firm belief that AFF are mis-selling their site and make hugely exagerated claims about the number of active members etc. In effect they are committing fraud. I'm sure AFF will remove this post rather than substantiating their figures as any ethical company would do.

Ads on the web with wrong cities
Hi, do you know these ads of adult friendfinder appearing on many websites? They claim the girls are from your city but the just take names from profiles and mix them with cities near you!!! I discovered this when I clicked on a ad with a girl which should be from my hometown but on the a.f.f. site loading she wasn't listed. I searched her nick on the web and found her a.f.f. profile which included her real hometown! Thousands of miles away on another continent! --194.95.33.142 09:57, 29 May 2006 (UTC)
 * Does anyone have information on how they "localize" your hometown just by using your IP address or whatever they're using?
 * I don't know, but they've never once guessed my city right. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Hellahulla (talk • contribs) 11:13, 23 May 2010 (UTC)


 * It's even funnier, just keep refreshing the ad. The names will always be different, but after a while, you'll see the photos start to repeat, with different names under them. ;)
 * I'm not saying AFF is a total scam, but their ads and other methods to get you to pay for a premium account are mostly a scam.
 * 213.224.83.4 19:35, 6 June 2006 (UTC)


 * It's always funny to see a fan of the Steelers living at a industrial zone near Amsterdam Airport. ::::--80.127.21.134 08:07, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Not 100% fake
I can say that the claim that 100% of the messages are fake is not true. I have met several very attractive (IMO) women on the site. I also have female friends to whom I have recommended the site. I have met women, real women after having been messaged by them. All of this is not to say that I have never recieved a fake message or seen a fake profile. I have seen dozens of profiles that had well known porno stars pictures attached to it claiming that she was the way the woman in question looked. But I have to wonder if all of that is AFF's fault. One woman I met told me that she used to use a porno picture as the picture on her profile and that she had only recently changed it to just a normal (non nude) face picture of herself. And before anyone makes the claim, I don't work for AFF, but I am a gold member and I think it's worth it. It has been for me. Just attempting to restore a little objectivity to the discussion about the site. Pihanki 00:17, 8 July 2006 (UTC)


 * Always keep in mind that ANY advertisement, personal or commercial or political, may be a fraud, may be substantial or some combination of both. You have to use your critical faculties. You'll never find substance without taking a risk, whether it be a car or a stock or a person. We keep hearing of successful matches, including out own. Granted, this is only anecdotal evidence. Paid services are far less likely to be suspect because they are likely to maintain staff to provide some degree of monitoring.


 * I agree. Critical and rational analysis is what is required here, not diatribes from men who are angry because the woman who looked like Jessica Simpson on AFF turned out to be a fake.  I think a big part of my success on the site has been due to my abilty to spot fakes and eliminate them from consideration.  But that also requires critical analysis.Pihanki 00:57, 22 August 2006 (UTC)


 * as a couple we have been aff goldmembers for 2 yrs, it does work but caution is suggested.
 * with busy profesional lifes  the service saves time and effort, you simply search  , e-mail and meet
 * like any dating game ,the  good  looking , rich or great personalitys get more  responses. but a well put together  profile, current  pictures and a few visits to the chat room will pay dividends.


 * I was a paying member for a month, about 4 years ago, and since then I have been maintaining a free account. During those four years, I met probably 200-250 local AFF users (met, not had sex with!). Local users arrange meet-and-greets on a regular (sometimes weekly) schedule, and sometimes they have bigger parties.
 * I have never seen any attempts in the chat to get people to purchase paid accounts.
 * Yes, as on most dating services, the male-to-female ratio is not even, but if you act nice and polite, it is not hard to meet people. Sure, you can hook up at the local bar as well, but here everyone know what the idea is. It is more accepted to say what you are looking for, instead of spending a bunch of money on a girl, buying her drinks, just to hear "I am not here to meet anyone".
 * Over the four years, I would guess I met up with about 20-30 women on AFF. A couple of them I dated for some period of time, some were just for sex. As Pihanki points out above, use common sense. Yes, there are scammers on there, but comparing to the personal ads on say craigslist.org, AFF is much better. On CL, 100% of my responses were "go to my website and register for free, and you can see pictures of me, watch me on cam and perhaps we can meet". There you have a scam, if anything. And no, I am not affiliated with AFF in any way. Not even paying them money.:-) 216.111.97.126 23:08, 1 May 2007 (UTC)

=2007=

"If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is"
Need I say more?


 * Yes, I have no idea what this is in reference to. Anti Anti Anti 01:09, 3 August 2007 (UTC)


 * He's probably referencing to free sex. Women these days don't need these kind of websites, they can easily get sex anywhere.--85.144.133.46 23:52, 30 October 2007 (UTC)


 * FWIW, "women can easily get sex anywhere" is sexist and insulting. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 75.28.41.156 (talk) 16:44, 11 March 2008 (UTC)


 * And true :) —Preceding unsigned comment added by 67.169.208.172 (talk) 05:35, 6 June 2008 (UTC)


 * True —Preceding unsigned comment added by 84.48.112.44 (talk) 20:39, 11 September 2008 (UTC)


 * I do not agree with the statement that "women these days don't need these kind kind of websites,.."because some really prefer the internet to make a careful selection before they actually meet the guy. However, I still think that AFF is not being honest (or shall we say it's members?) When you look at other dating websites, women tend to be much more shy about showing bare breasts, even when they are really into swinging. What AFF really is doing is to create a dream world: Look all those willing women just waiting for you. You just have to become a member (and pay) to be part of it. The other day I signend in to AFF as a non-paying member. I did get immediately a contact mail from a gold member (woman of course). Well, I wrote back, she(?) answered, I answered, this went on during the whole day, she even sent me finally a pic (never got her real email, though). Suddenly, at about half past five no more mails. I guess this person (maybe a guy) has finished his nine-to-five job at AFF and went home. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 80.109.90.133 (talk) 17:15, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

=2008=

AFF is Perfectly Legit
Hi there, I have to jump in here; I think there is confusion on this topic. AFF is most assuredly not a “bogus” site/group, I have been a member for many years, and met lots of people through this site in the different cities and states I’ve lived in and visited. And, I’m not a “pro”, nor a lesbian, and I would have no difficulty getting regular ‘dates’ if I wanted.

What is not really discussed in the article nor in this discussion thread is that AFF is a SWINGER site, and that is a big point to miss. This article should be linked to the Wikipedia Swinging article and other sources on that topic to best explain the subculture it serves. While it may be used as a dating service or a meet-n-greet by some, or by folks who want to 'look', the advertised target audience is for those in the Swinger lifestyle. For this reason, a newcomer who establishes a new account and blasts out emails to 50 women or couples may get frustrated when they get no response and assume it is a scam. Honestly, it does seem to take a bit of time for a single guy to break into the swinger lifestyle at first until their reputation is established. Not just at AFF; many Swinger Parties we have attended don’t let single guys in unless they’re specially invited. Perhaps because there typically seem to be more men than women who are interested in adopting this lifestyle. This does not mean single men can't jump in, only that it may take them a little longer to get established.

Mick, your comments about attractive women not having a reason to post their profiles on this site since they have plenty of other options illustrates what I believe many people do not understand. Imagine this. I’m an educated and professional woman. I’m also somebody’s mother, daughter, neighbor, coworker and friend. If you were in my shoes, would you go up to a person in a supermarket and ask if they want to get busy? No. Bad for my reputation would be an understatement, not to mention just bad manners. And, like many other Swingers, I wouldn’t want any “strings”, nor to confuse my potential partner. I would prefer to meet potential partners who share my ideas about the lifestyle, and to know that ahead of time. So instead, my hubby and I look through AFF profiles for others who are of similar mind, exchange emails briefly through AFF’s safe email system (no need to give personal information at first), weed out the “cheaters”, fakes and weirdoes, (one has to be willing to sift through those, as with any “personals”), make sure we all agree on boundaries, and then meet up for recreational sex.

Swinging. That is what this site is primarily for, and from my experience and that of some other Swingers I know, it may not be perfect but it works pretty well. Make sense?

Sealass (talk) 05:09, 7 April 2008 (UTC)


 * @Sealass: Just FYI, there is an ocean of men who would be delighted to be hit on or even faintly flirted with at the grocery store. I hope for it every time I go buy something, and initiate plenty of chatting-up attempts myself.
 * @all: Anyway, as for the article, it clearly has seen a lot of PoV pushing, and does need to be watchlisted by a large number of editors, so that it remains balanced. It's clear that AFF has tolerated (possibly encouraged and even engaged in - we can prove that the allegation has frequently been made not the facts behind the alelgation) fraudulent profiles and other shenanigans. But it's also clear that the site actually works, for some people some of the time. Especially swingers, but even single men. For example, the author of "How to Use Escort Services: A Men's Guide" has actually sworn off call girls and uses Adult FriendFinder instead, for several years now. 68.35.36.43 (talk) 01:17, 25 July 2011 (UTC)

"I think you are missing the point"
Sealass has a mighty good point. It is a SWINGER site. Also, there is a general understanding that DISCRETION is a must for most of the people on the site. Many of the people on the site are professionals in legit work and have families.

I am a young bisexual woman who works part time in the porn industry. I am also a professional attending graduate school full-time and do not want either my recreational sex or my professional sex to be public. (I have never charged for a hook-up/meeting from AFF unless you count dinner and/or gifts in which case I guess we’d all be pros, huh?) I do not look like Barbie, but AFF is not necessarily made for the Barbie and Ken types. I am also painfully shy outside of my sexual persona, so although I could technically meet the gaze of that person in the grocery store, it’s not very likely that I am going to. Seeing as how I am a professional with several jobs I do not have time for a serious relationship, AFF has been an amazing solution to many obstacles I have found for having intimacy in my life. And, to top it all off I’ve had some pretty fun adventures with both singles and couples.

I will not say that all of my experiences on AFF have been amazing connections with mind-blowing sex or anything. I’ve had some really disappointing hook-ups, but I have never been hurt by or forced into anything by anyone I have ever met. It’s like anything else online… you just have to read between the lines and do lots of screening with lots of skepticism before meeting people.

Oh, and, for the single guys… you have to be willing to put in the work to meet people on AFF. It sounds like some of the male respondents put up profiles and waited for emails. The site simply does not work that way. Would you walk into a bar with a 5:1 ratio and rent property on a stool with a drink in your hand and get mad because the women in the bar are not flocking to you? I didn’t think so. Sorry to break it to you, but I have never met with anyone that didn’t contact me first. Listhered (talk) 05:20, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

My thoughts on
I am a standard member and I can email other people on AFF. I am a 44 year old female that likes to use them to write erotic blogs. I have met some very nice people on this site and not just for sex. The people are real and never ran into spammers. In fact, the site does it very best to block spammers. I have been a member for several years and I have enjoy my time there. People on the site are very helpful as far as problem solving or just to ask advice. I have had no solicitations for money other than the site wanting me to upgrade to a gold or silver membership. I don't have the time to go to bars to meet people and everyone is discrete and I get to fulfill a erotic side that I cant reveal at work. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rtuesday (talk • contribs) 02:56, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

The fact that you are a woman and so you likely never ran into spammers doesn't mean there are no spammers. Try to contact massively a list of women and you'll rapidly discover that many of them are just there waiting for someone to invite in their website and trying to make you pay for a show or something like that. Sometimes you don't even need to contact them to discover this, since they spam their email address directly from the few introduction sentences below their nickname. Considering that each profile is supposed (as they say) to be checked by the staff before to publish it, I wouldn't say the site does its best to block spammers. --Vipera (talk) 10:23, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

=2010=

Credit Card Fraud
Is there likely to be any additional commentary regarding the apparent practice (it happened to me, and search the web - it's all there for other members), whereby people who KNOWINGLY did not request automatic renewal of their accounts, have found that AFF has magically switched this preference to YES. It seems a business practice worthy to note on a Wikipedia page. Thanks. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 78.225.42.64 (talk) 21:42, 14 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Not come across it myself. I have seen plenty of members who have been absent for "Over 3 months" with gold and silver memberships. Maybe they signed up for a long term membership or forgot the payment was automatic or AFF did switch the payment to automatic. Best way if it happens is to inform your card company and they'll deal with it. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Hellahulla (talk • contribs) 11:22, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

I am currently victim of a credit card fraud. Adult friend finder charged me 2x55€ in the last two months even with auto-renewal switched off! I had a year ago a 3 month silver membership (1x41€). the membership ran out but a year later they are charging me again with 55€/month!! —Preceding unsigned comment added by 88.117.56.77 (talk) 21:45, 19 October 2010 (UTC)
 * So talk to AFF and your credit card company. See WP:TALK: Wikikpedia talk pages are for article improvement, not consumer reports. 68.35.36.43 (talk) 01:17, 25 July 2011 (UTC)

Criticism
I'm a member, usually standard but sometimes get a silver membership from time to time to get involved a bit more in the site. I can't help but agree to several of the criticisms of the site. 1. There are members there that are clearly no longer active and should be purged to not skew the results. 2. There are plenty of members with pictures that are clearly not them, some I have seen on other websites. 3. There are many profile texts that are just so obviously fake it's untrue. To blame AFF for all of these issues is unfair. this is obviously a great way to harvest information for spamming purposes and how can we expect the AFF staff to fully vet every single member on the site. I agree they should have some way of purging members who are totally inactive, but to blame them for spam, fake and other undesirables is just a bit wrong. Also, anyone with some intuition and common sense can smell out a fake text/picture a mile off. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Hellahulla (talk • contribs) 11:20, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

Warning - Malware
This site (adultfriendfinder.com) uses malware to hijack your browser!

http://forums.techguy.org/virus-other-malware-removal/492688-solved-sys-protect-adult-friend.html http://forums.majorgeeks.com/showthread.php?t=179570 http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070810054431AAZZLFX --Joostik (talk) 16:58, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
 * None of those links demonstrate that adultfriendfinder intentionally sends you malware. Anyone could create malware and put AFF's name on it, or use AFF to distribute malware from bogus user profiles to real ones. 68.35.36.43 (talk) 01:17, 25 July 2011 (UTC)