Talk:Adventures in Modern Recording/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

I will start this review later today! --K. Peake 08:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Refs are generally discouraged in the infobox for genres; you should write that info out in the body instead plus [2] and [3] don't call the album progressive pop (don't know about [4] since I can't access) and [3] sources electropop
 * Is Internet Archive giving you a hard time again? *Sigh* Man, it's been acting up on me too. Here's the original link of [4], it's still up: HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:10, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * We actually both misinterpreted [3]. It's only describes a single track as having sections of electropop, and brings up that it has an aspect of electro-prog, not that it's of the genre. Since I couldn't find an article about "electro-prog," I went with electronic. I have removed it given the other genres of progressive are described in the other reviews. Genre names are confusing and odd, I tell ya HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:16, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I had an issue with accessing the source because of it being a book, so I could not see what was inside. --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)


 * In the concept and sound section, I wrote that it was an progressive electronic album. [4] describes it as progressive synthpop, [5] describes it as "electro-prog," and [6] describes it as consisting of "electronic and progressive rock experimentations." I found these descriptors nearly synonymous and combined them. I mean, "electro-prog" pretty much means electronic progressive, because even the most experience music writers use electro to mean electronic. HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:27, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * List the genre as progressive electronic in the infobox, then. --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Pipe synthpop to Synth-pop
 * Done, but WP:NOPIPE recommends to not use piped links to avoid redirects. HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:09, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "Adventures in Modern Recording ended up" → "the album ended up"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:59, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "it was originally named" → "the track was originally named" but the original title is not sourced in the body
 * Wikilink "Into the Lens"
 * Fixed. Plus removing wikilink for I Am a Camera since it redirects to the same article about both versions.
 * See the MOS:LINK2SECT guideline; can't this be a separate wikilink because it is to the section? --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, there isn't a section for the version named "I Am A Camera", just general sections about the development and release of both versions. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:45, 20 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink progressive electronic per MOS:LINK2SECT but I am confused about the genre; why is only this listed when the infobox sources other genres?
 * "and is described by" → "and was described by"
 * Was HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:07, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "faced mixed reviews and commercially performed poorly" → "received mixed reviews from music critics and performed poorly commercially" with the pipe
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:29, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * UK Album Charts → UK Albums Chart
 * Done. Man, can one letter make a difference. XD HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:29, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * The singles being minor hits should not be mentioned in this sentence; move to one about them instead
 * "it reached number 161 on the United States" → "the album reached number 161 on the US"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:29, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Similarly to the other singles point, move the info about "Lenny"
 * Add a sentence after the retrospective reviews one mentioning the accompanying singles that were released, with relevant info
 * I addressed comments about the singles sentences. The reason I discussed the singles' performances in the sentence about the contemporaneous reviews because I viewed the singles commercial as part of the album's reception. HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:53, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Neat, but pipe singles to Single (music) --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "for their 2011 studio album Fly from Here." → "for their twentieth studio album, Fly from Here (2011)." and keep this as the closing sentence of the para
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:53, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

Background

 * The img text is misleading, as Downes only has keyboard credits on one song, so reword accordingly to avoid confusion
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ""Into the Lens;" although" → ""Into the Lens"; although" with the wikilink, per my earlier comment
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "the Buggles recording more." → "the Buggles' recording more."
 * While this was still grammatically correct without the apostrophe, done away HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Merge the first para with the one below per the short length
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:48, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "got the opportunity" → "had the opportunity"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:48, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "John Wetton, and" → "John Wetton and" per British English
 * From an American dude, I can say done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Easy mistake to make writing in your native form of English for an article, but make sure to always follow that of the performer (I have had to adapt myself as a Brit editing American musician's articles).


 * "and on the day Adventures was to begin recording," → "On the day that recording of Adventures in Modern Recording was set to begin," to avoid a run-on sentence
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:31, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Change to Adventures in Modern Recording though, as abbreviations are not supposed to be given unless it's a surname or acronym. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "Downes' departure gave" → "his departure gave"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:31, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "viewpoint, Horn recalled:" → "viewpoint, with him recalling:"
 * Since that would actually be grammatically incorrect, I've decided to make it a separate sentence. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * [2] should be solely at the end of the para due to backing up all of the parts after [3]
 * Actually, [2] doesn't, and doing what you're suggesting here would cause a "not-in-citation-given" scenario. Although you may not be able to read it now since Google Books now changes what pages get previewed, ref 2 only mentions the start of recording demos and Downes' transition into Asia. Ref 3 (the trevorhorn.com feature) is the one that discusses the Buggles' fallout with Island Records, how Horn felt about it, and what new label he signed onto to get the second album produced and released.
 * Well this has now changed, due to you adding different refs. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "promote, and release" → "promote and release"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "was mostly a Trevor Horn" → "was mostly a Horn"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * The writing, drum programming and keyboards parts are not mentioned by the source so remove or add appropriate ref(s)
 * I've added liner notes in the section to fix the issues. I thought all of those credits were mentioned in the Trevorhorn.com article, but apparently I haven't remembered everything about it. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * I'm not seeing the word. Do you mean engineers? HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * No, this is not visible because you removed the info about their debut album. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "for The Buggles first album" → "for the Buggles' debut studio album" but this previous involvement is not sourced
 * I just removed it to make the sentence less confusing HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "Langan, Horn, and" → "Langan, Horn and"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * The keyboardist credit, percussion and sound effects being for those specific tracks is unsourced, plus don't think the latter of the three should be surrounded by speech marks
 * I've cited the liner notes that do bring up these credits. The Ian Peel source just indicates what notable contributors were on the album, but weren't too specific what those contributions were. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:44, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

Concept and sound

 * Tomorrow (I will go through this faster then; I am experiencing a stressed out day right now) --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Take all the time you need to rest. :) HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:19, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "this part involves the track quickly going from" → "the track quickly goes from" on the audio sample text, plus wikilink jazz
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 10:55, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Wikilink progressive electronic per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:00, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe dance to Dance music
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 10:55, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Numerous MOS:QUOTE issues within this section; remember, this applies to commas too
 * Apart from the commas, I'm not seeing them. Most of the sentences only use partial quotes within mostly paraphrased sentences, and if there is a full quote, it's because it's way too oddball to be paraphrased. The bot that provided copyvio score you presented at the bottom is way too sensitive. Also, the last two of the three paragraphs don't even have any quotes HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Wikilink jazz
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 10:55, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Introduce Chris Roberts as being of BBC Music
 * I don't know how this adds to the section, but done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:27, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ""Vermillion Sands" "which" → ""Vermillion Sands", "which"
 * I've changed the structure, but trust me when I say commas are being place properly HumanxAnthro (talk) 10:56, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "analyzed the track being" → "analyzed the track as being"
 * I've changed the structure, so this part is no longer here. HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:09, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe electro-pop to Electropop
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:09, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "As Joe Stannard of The Quietus described the title track, it" → "Joe Stannard of The Quietus described the title track as what"
 * I've paraphrased the quote it HumanxAnthro (talk) 18:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Img looks good, apart from Trevor Horn's full name being used instead of surname
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "During the production of" → "During the recording of" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Actually, that would make the sentence more rep- or, you know what, I'll just change Adventures in Modern Recording to "the album" to make it less repetitive. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I would like to ask though, what solo album are you referring to soon after this point? --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Adventures in Modern Recording. I have clarified this. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:57, 20 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Pipe pop to Pop music
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "he produced his solo album" → "he produced the album"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:08, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe technopop to Synth-pop
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:08, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove wikilink on Vermillion Sands due to it being the wrong article, plus shouldn't Hotel be capitalised per the source?
 * I've decided to remove this because, frankly, Peel's source did not do a good job clarifying how the band related to the Vermillion Sands story. HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:08, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "for Adventures, but" → "for Adventures in Modern Recording, but"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 16:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe house to House music
 * This is my fault for not clarifying, but I wasn't giving the fictional band a genre. I used "house band" in the sense that they were the players of the hotel. Plus, I don't think house was an established genre in 1981. I'll rewrite this. HumanxAnthro (talk) 16:30, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "It was one of the first" → "The album was one of the first"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:21, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "and also marks one" → "and also marked one"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:21, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe sampling to Sampling (music)
 * Nope. That discusses a different technique that the album doesn't use. Adventures in Modern Recording used the Fairlight CMI, which is a Sampler (musical instrument). Two different things. Sampling (music) would use a technique a lot of hip hop uses, which is using loops of already-recorded songs. Adventures in Modern Recording doesn't have any of those moments. HumanxAnthro (talk) 16:30, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * My bad, don't need to suggest irrelevant links. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Add the release year of the albums; do not do all in brackets though, as that would be too cluttered
 * I've removed the album names since it's common knowledge those sampler instruments are used in many of Horn's other works besides those three albums.

Albums and singles

 * This should be the entirety of the section rather than a sub-section, as it is large enough and the rest can be moved
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:55, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe single to Single (music)
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:02, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe B-side to A-side and B-side
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:02, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "in January 1982, and" → "in January 1982 and"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * [3] should be solely at the end of the para due to being the only source invoked here
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "releasing "Lenny" and" → "releasing both "Lenny" and" to be specific
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe flexidisc to Flexi disc
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "and the title track" → "while the title track"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "and in the" → "while later released in the"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * CBS Records is piped to CBS Records International here, so why have you done differently in the infobox?
 * Good catch. Done. I actually originally had that pipe to Columbia. I don't know how that changed into another pipe link. HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "in the 1990s," → "during the 1990s;"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * [17] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [18] due to not coming after any piece of grammar
 * Commas should not be inside speech marks for song titles, plus remove the comma for "Blue Nylon"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Mention the interviews on the re-release per the source
 * The source's claim is misleading. There's only fully-written feature that's an interview with Horn. HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "single cover arts, and" → "single cover arts and"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ""Videotheque" which would later" → ""Videotheque", which would later"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "written for Yes that was performed" → "that was written for Yes and performed"
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "their album Fly From Here (2011)." → "their twentieth studio album Fly from Here (2011)."
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Commercial reception

 * Make this its own section titled commercial performance, moving to being the one directly before track listing
 * "single there," and, in his home country," → "single there" and, in his home country of the United Kingdom,"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:46, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "it was unable to" → "It was unable to" per the new sentence, but where do any of the sources mention this? If none do, then remove it because an album not charting only has notability if specifically written about.
 * The album not being a success in the UK is discussed (albeit a little bit) in The Face citation plus the Ian Peel source. I presume the album not charting would be an example of this and made notable by those two citations. You also know details don't have to be "notable" per se, it's the main topic of the article that has to been notable to be written about. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "and singles of the title track and" → "while the title track and"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "the album fared better in" → "Adventures in Modern Recording fared better in"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * The France and Netherlands parts for the album's performance are not sourced, plus remove comma after the Netherlands and place any ref solely at the end of the sentence before [26]
 * You might've missed it during spotchecking, but the album being a success in France is from the Ian Peel source, although it may not have come up in your word searching if you put in "France" since Trevor Horn used "French people" to label the country: "For the UK at least, he was right and the singles met a muted reaction. But in Europe it was a different story. “Certainly French people loved the album,”" Also added citation for Netherlands performance. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * You are spot on; I did check that sources but didn't notice the French part and you still need to remove the comma after the Netherlands per British English. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:00, 20 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "and the United States where it" → "and the US, where it" per MOS:US
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "certified gold in Canada for sales of 5,000 units,[27] and" → "certified gold in Canada by Music Canada (MC) for sales of 5,000 units and" for correct context, plus move [27] to being solely after the comma before [28]
 * Done. Also, I removed the comma since I made a few changes to the section. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "reaching number-nine" → "reaching number nine"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe lip-synching to Lip sync
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Reviews

 * Retitle to Critical reception and move to being its own section directly before commercial performance
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:46, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove the img since you should not have one where it is side by side with the ratings box
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "Reviews upon release" → "Reviews of Adventures in Modern Recording upon release"
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Identify the Smash Hits reviewer by name
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember, this does not apply to full sentences quoted though
 * The only QUOTE issue I see is with commas. I have made changes, but I don't see what other issues there were with MOS:QUOTE.
 * Just to let you know, that doesn't mean I haven't done more paraphrasing in the sections. HumanxAnthro (talk) 18:29, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * This is referring to when you have the punctuation inside the speech marks when not quoting full sentences, such as "Yes-style pomposity." for starters. Also, you have accidentally placed punctuation inside the title "Beatnik" at other points in this article, just to note. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Identify The Morning Call reviewer by name
 * The source didn't make the author's name clear. HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:08, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "a Record Mirror review of" → "with a Record Mirror review by Sunie Fletcher of"
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:08, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "Smash Hits review for "On TV,"" → "Martin Fry of Smash Hits review for "On TV","
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "sounded far better than" → "sound far better than"
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Pipe Amazon.com to Amazon (company)
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:08, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Good

Personnel

 * You should list artists separately, even if their credits are the same
 * I assume you mean The Buggles versus other personnel. Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:53, 20 March 2021 (UTC)

Charts and certifications

 * Retitle to Charts since the album received no certification(s)
 * Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:54, 20 March 2021 (UTC)

Album

 * This should not be a sub-section
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:59, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Singles

 * Remove this because a table is not warranted for it in the album article, plus you have written out commercial info for these in prose
 * Since there were such few coverage about much of the singles and they only garnered small position for one-to-two charts each, I merged them in this article in the same way Homogenic incorporated singles positions. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:42, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I've removed the table though. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:47, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed, but it was nice to see your response so far while the review was ongoing! --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I think I've addressed and responded to all of the comments. If I missed any, please understand there was a lot to take in hehehehe. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:44, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * That is understandable, but you still need to pipe singles to Single (music), change Adventures to the full album title, change The Morning Call part to "a more positive reviewer for" in the case we don't know the name and fix MOS:QUOTE issues with Stannard's review. --K. Peake 08:42, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * All have been fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:42, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, there was only one issue with the wording in the lead but I copyedited that in for you. Congratulations on another GA, but I extend my praise to how thorough you were in your response to my comments! --K. Peake 12:09, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey, as an album that didn't get much attention, this is actually the most complete article there could be on the topic. Thank you so much! HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:21, 21 March 2021 (UTC)