Talk:Aim for the Moon/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:50, 31 January 2021 (UTC)

I will start this review later today, but remember to respond accordingly this time since it is common courtesy to do so! --K. Peake 06:50, 31 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove venue parameter from the infobox, as that is for live recordings
 * "Pop Smoke featuring Quavo from the formers" → "Pop Smoke, featuring Quavo, from the former's"
 * Add release year of the album in brackets
 * "The song was produced by" → "It was produced by"
 * "It is a drill track that sees" → "A drill track, it sees"
 * Remove the second collaboration part since that is unsourced and not notable for the lead either way
 * "praising the song's production." → "praising its production."
 * "The song peaked at" → ""Aim for the Moon" peaked at"
 * The Canadian Hot 100 position should also be mentioned here, as that was also top 40
 * "playing Quavo as young versions" → "playing Quavo, as young versions"
 * The release date of the song is not to be noted in the lead because doing it in the body is enough
 * Target single to Single (music)
 * "with critics describing it as "bittersweet."" → with one critic describing it as "bittersweet"." per MOS:QUOTE

Background and release

 * Mention which mixtape it was intended to be the intro to and if not known, just write "one of the Meet the Woo mixtapes"
 * Kyle Peake Pop Smoke was planning on releasing a lot of mixtapes after Meet the Woo 2. It was going to be released on a future mixtape. As you know, he was murdered before any of that could happen.


 * "the intro to the album." → "the album's intro."
 * "Victor commented that everyone knew that the song" → "Victor recalled how everyone knew the song" to avoid overusing "that"
 * "on the album." → "on Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon."
 * "He admitted it" → "Victor admitted the song" to be specific about who "he" is
 * "in just 30 minutes." → "in around 30 minutes."
 * "at the time making beats when Scott" → "at the time, making beats, when Travis Scott"
 * "She sent them back" → "She sent him back"
 * "being impressed with it" is not backed up properly; the source mentions "he went in on it" which refers to him recording so reword accordingly
 * "Pop Smoke's favorite songs. She said" → "one of Pop Smoke's favorite songs; she said"
 * "to part of the songs" → "to be part of the song's"
 * "alongside Quavo who has" → "alongside Quavo, who has"
 * The credits do not mention Dani as a songwriter, only a co-producer so remove him from the writers list
 * You forgot to list Dylan Cleary-Krell as a songwriter here
 * "The song was produced by" → "It was produced by"
 * "Sadiki Forbes, Tyrone Penman, Daniel Deleyto, and Dylan Cleary Krell" → "Forbes, Penman, Deleyto, and Cleary-Krell"
 * Target programming to Programming (music)

Music and lyrics

 * "has a "blistering intro" → "is a "blistering intro"
 * Wikilink Hi-hats
 * "or car speakers."" → "or car speakers"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "She continues, saying the "track reflects" → "Gomez said the track "reflects" and move to being the penultimate sentence, as this is about the lyrics not the music
 * "parties and drugs."" → "parties and drugs"."
 * "Gomez says Quavo" → "Gomez said Quavo"
 * "on [the] track." And" → "on [the] track", and"
 * "playing well against the rougher vocals."" → "play[s] well against the rougher vocals"."
 * "mentions that the song" → "mentioned that the song"
 * ""hi-hat patter."" → ""hi-hat patter"."
 * Target groove to Groove (music)
 * "bass drops the depth of a freshly-dug grave, allows the rappers" → "bass" to drop "the depth of a freshly-dug grave" and allow "the rappers"
 * "above the fray." → "above the fray"."

Reception

 * "said it was a" → "said it is a"
 * A lot of MOS:QUOTE violations here that need fixing
 * "was one of the albums" → "is one of the album's"
 * "and Quabo worked" → "and Quavo work"
 * "and that their chemistry was" → "and their chemistry is"
 * "had a "triumphant" → "has a "triumphant"
 * "underwritten verses." and branded Quavo's "adlibs actively" → "underwritten verses", and branded Quavo's adlibs "actively"
 * Remove greater than sign
 * "The song has also peaked at" → "The song simultaneously peaked at

Background and synopsis

 * Lowercase the Notorious B.I.G. per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * Target single to Single (music)
 * Wikilink vanity plate
 * [4][22][23][26][27][28] is too many refs at the end of a sentence; move a number of them to their appropriate parts of the sentence to back up the info

Reception

 * Fix the MOS:QWQ violations in this sub-section
 * Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
 * "was a "charming"" → "is a "charming""

Credits and personnel

 * writer → songwriter
 * Dani should solely be credited as a co-producer, as that is the only role the source mentions him having
 * Mention that Dylan Cleary Krell is also a songwriter
 * Songwriter should come before programming under the credits per the source

Weekly charts

 * Retitle to Charts
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; should be easy for you to get through everything over a short time period since the article is quite short. --K. Peake 13:05, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake all the issues should be fixed. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:34, 1 February 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ but I reworded the mixtape part and made a fix to the lead where I probably caused confusion with my initial typo here. May I ask, no offence since you have got this article done now, but why have you been slow to respond to reviews somewhat recently? --K. Peake 07:49, 1 February 2021 (UTC)
 * It is very hard to respond when someone like me has parents who have a huge dislike for electronics. They always want me to work and prepare for college. I was able to complete this review today because they were gone for a couple of hours. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:51, 1 February 2021 (UTC)