Talk:Akihiko Kondo/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 20:19, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Arconning (talk · contribs) 16:49, 6 July 2024 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this, comments will probably be finished in the next 72 hours! Arconning (talk) 16:49, 6 July 2024 (UTC)


 * @Skyshifter Here are my comments, that is all. :) Arconning (talk) 17:12, 7 July 2024 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * For the infobox, you should at least add a note on the "Spouse" section stating that it's symbolic. It clashes with the information regarding it as symbolic rather than an actual marriage.
 * Removed it, as the "Known for" section above already mentions it.
 * Later, Kondo was bullied at work and he took sick leave due to depression., remove he.
 * Done
 * Kondo to return to, remove first to.
 * Done
 * He has since identified as a fictosexual — people that have romantic attraction to fictional characters., remove unecessary a, remove the spaces between the dash, and replace that have with who have.
 * Done
 * Remove the sources in the lead as it's already mentioned in the body.
 * Removed [2], but kept [1] as it's a direct quotation (MOS:LEADCITE / WP:WHENNOTCITE exceptions).

Early life and Hatsune Miku

 * No issues.

Wedding

 * Ultimately, Kondo chose a wedding that was friendly to sexual minorities., was it Kondo's choice for the wedding or a wedding venue?
 * Fixed
 * assembly member of Ōta,[13], Kondo said his work environment deteriorated, and a senior colleague asked him to stop talking to the press.[1], remove the reference as it's also used at the end of the sentence.
 * Regarding the former: would like to keep to emphasize that El País only confirms Taro Yamada. Regarding the latter: done.
 * This number was specifically chosen because it spells "Miku" in Japanese, with "mi" meaning three and "ku" nine., a statement in the sentence could be linked to Japanese wordplay.
 * Added a link

Post-wedding

 * He has also done lectures elsewhere., where exactly? Probably put down the locations where he has lectured. Otherwise, you could merge it with the sentence prior stating something similar to "he has done lectures in locations such as Kyoto University". Probably not that exact statement, but something similar to avoid confusion to the reader.
 * This kinda breaks the previous sentence related to the Miku doll, so keeping for now.

Personal life

 * quiet residential neighborhood, remove "quiet" as it's not supported by the source.
 * This was a paraphrase of "discreet"; keeping that word instead.
 * The facts about his studies and occupation should probably be in chronological order.
 * Reordered

Images

 * Two images have proper licenses. First image is relevant to the article, second is kinda relevant, though, conditional pass.

Refs

 * Earwig's okay.
 * Random ref check: Refs 2, 7, 8, 10, 12, good. Ref 14 is a conditional pass as it's not a political or science related article from Fox.

Misc

 * No ongoing edit war, incredible broad and focused information about the topic, neutral.
 * I did some minor copyediting, hope that wont bother you.


 * Responded! Skyshifter   talk  17:47, 7 July 2024 (UTC)