Talk:Al-Ma'mun al-Bata'ihi/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 12:10, 6 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 13:23, 10 May 2024 (UTC)

I know very little about this period (certainly much less than the nominator), so will focus on prose, MoS and so on, with content points where I can. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:23, 10 May 2024 (UTC)

Image review
 * Is there any image at all that could be used to represent him -- I know portraits are unlikely, given the Islamic rules against them, but perhaps a signature or similar?
 * I have looked far and wide, unfortunately nothing that is uniquely representative of him. Constantine  ✍  20:14, 18 May 2024 (UTC)
 * : suggest being a little more specific: was the vizir actually omnipotent?
 * Not entirely ;) have rephrased it to 'the de facto ruler of the state'.
 * : suggest cutting a number of (it could hardly have been otherwise). If the number is quite big, suggest several or many.
 * Have removed it entirely as it is superfluous.
 * : can we do anything in the lead to clarify a bit about who these people and what these beliefs are?
 * Added a brief explanation both in the lede and the main body.
 * : I'd put a date on these.
 * Done.
 * : you might consider clarifying this to "1085–1856 CE", as we're explicitly working between different calendars here.
 * Good point, added the CE and AH wherever the two dates are given.
 * : I'd italicise rather than using single quotes, given the ' midway through the word.
 * Done.
 * Could we explain nisba -- something like epithet?
 * Done.
 * Hyphenate rags-to-riches as a compound modifier.
 * Done.
 * : I would cut the regnal dates here: they're only really useful when we don't know anything about the date except that it happened during someone's reign, but here we have a more precise one (1118).
 * Good point, done.
 * : something odd has happened here: the s is not italicised and not part of the link.
 * This is deliberate, as this is an English plural of an Arabic word; the proper plural would be ghilman. I am indeed not sure whether I should not include the 's' in the italics, but then it would give the false impression that 'ghulams' is transliterated from the Arabic.
 * : for GA, I don't have a particularly strong feeling about whether we should give the Arabic and bracket the English, or vice-versa, but we should probably be consistent. Some reviewers would advise sticking to English as far as possible in the main sentence.
 * Except that cadastral survey is an English technical term, but 'conversion' is merely the exact translation of the Arabic technical term, for which I am not aware of an equivalent technical term in English.
 * : was that a lot? Can we have any idea of what it might have represented in real terms?
 * It was a hefty sum; I added a comparison, am on the lookout for something better though.
 * : is his religion necessary or important here? Would strongly advise cutting or at the very least rephrasing so as not to use it as a noun in apposition, which can read as pejorative.
 * Notable in the sense that Jews and Christians played a far more important role in Fatimid administration than in other Muslim states, but you are right, here it doesn't really add much.
 * : passive voice seems odd here: presumably someone imprisoned him?
 * Added.
 * : capitalise Caliph here.
 * Done.
 * : could cut where it had not been celebrated (you can't re-institute something that has been continuously celebrated)
 * Done.
 * : is this "Fatimid and Ismai'ili" or "that subset of Ismai'ili that was also Fatimid"? If the former, should be an endash.
 * The latter, especially as juxtaposed to Nizari Isma'ilism.
 * : suggest rephrasing per MOS:IDIOM.
 * Done.
 * al-Imad citation: hyphen in title should be an endash.
 * Done.
 * Suggest adding a short description.
 * Done.
 * Am I right that "Sayyida" is a title/honorific rather than a name? Suggest clarifying in a footnote if so.
 * Correct. I have linked to the corresponding article, and italicized the titles to distinguish them from the actual names.
 * In note B, MOS:WORDSASWORDS would like e.g. al-Afdali either in double quotes or italics.
 * Double quotes it is.


 * All images have alt text and good captions.
 * File:The story of Cairo (1906) (14782234955).jpg: licence checks out.
 * File:Cairo, moschea di al-aqmar, 04.JPG: Egypt has freedom of panorama, so all OK here.
 * File:Fatimid dinar - al-Amir bi-Ahkam Allah.jpg: technically speaking, needs a PD tag for the original work (the coin). I am honestly a little suspicious that it's genuinely the uploader's own work (it looks like an image used to display a coin on an auction website), but in the absence of a smoking gun I won't push this one.
 * Noting that this one isn't done yet. UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:36, 20 May 2024 (UTC)
 * It almost certainly comes from the CNG website, but thankfully we have permission to use these images. I have replaced/added the relevant copyright tags. Constantine  ✍  09:48, 30 May 2024 (UTC)

Source review

All sources appear to be reliable and are formatted consistently.


 * Spot checks
 * Note 9D: checks out.
 * Note 44: checks out.
 * Note 33: to support "[the caliph] was a poor public speaker", the source has "he himself, despite his love for ceremonies, did not excel at this task [of preaching]". I would consider changing "public speaker" to "preacher": there are other reasons, other than a lack of eloquence, why someone might not be great at preaching.
 * Done.

thanks for taking the time, I think I've dealt with most of the issues above. Constantine  ✍  20:14, 18 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Brilliant -- source review done, just a few bits and pieces there and further up. UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:36, 20 May 2024 (UTC)
 * I think I've dealt with the remaining items. Constantine  ✍  09:48, 30 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Yup, all looks good to me. Passing -- nice work. UndercoverClassicist T·C 11:05, 30 May 2024 (UTC)