Talk:Alan Wiggins/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Bagumba (talk · contribs) 03:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

I've jut started going through the article, and placed my initial comments above. Starting with just general flow, without looking at sources, will add more as I continue.—Bagumba (talk) 03:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I've completed my initial review, and have signed each respective section to delimit any future comments I may add later. I'll place this review on hold to allow time to address the points. As a heads up, I will be generally unavailable the week of August 23, and perhaps a bit beyond.—Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I think I've completed all of the items (1-39) under 1a. Regarding #18, my choice of might wasn't the best, but I meant might in the sense of "looked like it was going to happen, but didn't happen" - rather than the hedging might. I rephrased. Let me know if it works. Re: #32, it was a post-draft workout so I left it. For #33, I changed it to "what was described as" - but I feel like someone could put a "by whom?" tag on it so I'm not sure I have it right. I initially attributed it to Bodet because I am not sure how Wiggins would have characterized the negotiations. On #38, I had attributed it to his MIL because that explanation (got a cough and worsened quickly) seemed inconsistent with the other descriptions of his illness/death in the article (that he had been losing weight for at least several months, spending his last several weeks in the hospital and wasting away to 75 lbs). EricEnfermero (Talk) 04:36, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I addressed 1b and 2b. I took out the two dead links; might replace the sources with online sources after this other stuff gets addressed. EricEnfermero (Talk) 05:04, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I just lost a little bit of stuff in an edit conflict, but I'm still working toward addressing the feedback. Regarding 3a #11, I think Nightengale has at least part of the Dodgers thing wrong. BR says he was with the Angels until June 1978 and describes the Dodgers as signing him as an FA in Jan 79, not drafting him in Jan 78. I checked BR draft pages like this and searched 1978 and 1979 drafts (Jan and June, primary and secondary phases) and couldn't find mention of Wiggins. Weyler also describes this as an FA signing. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:47, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Not sure if you were complete done with 3a, but I checked off the items that seem OK.—Bagumba (talk) 20:33, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I appreciate you checking those off. I think I have addressed the rest now. I didn't find anything about his mom's death, but Nightengale described both her Alzheimer's diagnosis and his father's cancer death as devastating, so I added those. I am still looking into the timeline of the fight with the coach; BR says he was with the Angels organization until well into the 1978 season. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:15, 22 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I included the fight with the coach. Not sure what to do with the 1977 draft. Major League Baseball draft explains that January and June drafts were held at that time; while the June draft was larger, the WP entry makes it sound like it was just a matter of when a player was graduating. (That doesn't make sense to me 100%, because Wiggins was selected in January and still apparently played college ball in the spring.) I was going to link to 1977 Major League Baseball Draft, but it doesn't discuss the January draft at all and I can't find an article that does. EricEnfermero (Talk) 18:03, 22 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Can you drop a line at WT:BASEBALL, and see if there are any ideas on 1) how/if it should be presented in the lead 2) the wording to describe the details in the body.—Bagumba (talk) 21:24, 24 August 2015 (UTC)
 * The MLB draft in the lead ( from Well written, 1a, the second #3 item) seems be the last outstanding issue. What is the timeline you are looking to resolve it?  The WT:BASEBALL discussion looks to have ran its course. I still maintain it's misleading to mention 1st round pick in the lead, given that it's the January phase and not the main one.  I'm OK with it being in the body. I'd suggest something more generic in the lead like " ... before being drafted by the California Angels (known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim since 2005) in 1977." Note that the 1st round selection was only added to the lead based on my initial comment at 1b, #3.  So blame me :-)—Bagumba (talk) 19:07, 1 September 2015 (UTC)

I've just removed the first round mention from the lead. I appreciate your work on this. EricEnfermero (Talk) 01:14, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I think leaving the specific link to 1977 Major League Baseball Draft in the lead is slightly less accessible per WP:MOSINTRO than just linking to the high-level Major League Baseball Draft. I don't think the detail that it is was in the January phase is more specific than needed for the lead, and the point will be lost on most readers anyways. I still prefer piping it to "drafted", unless you strongly prefer to leave as "selected" and linking to the general draft article w/o a pipe.—Bagumba (talk) 02:01, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
 * If I'm understanding correctly, I think I've now fixed it. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:43, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Err, it would probably help if I write correctly: striking "don't" above. I'll semi-boldly update the article to not include Jan in the lead.—Bagumba (talk) 16:55, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Great job with the updates. After all the changes, I'll go through another read of the entire article before finalizing the review. Any relatively simple issues I'll just copyedit the article directly, which you can feel free to discuss if there is disagreement.—Bagumba (talk) 17:02, 2 September 2015 (UTC)