Talk:Albany, New York/Archive 2

Rewrite is almost complete
My rewrite is almost complete and almost all edits will take place at the article, for the most part. Please feel free to comment here if you have issues with content or suggestions (with sources, please!). Thanks!  upstate NYer  16:07, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for all this information. Yet this information is still too long. I am doing a report and it is taking longer than it should. Give external links to main ideas then another link to other facts and information. Please? Thank-you Marleen12301 (talk) 15:46, 22 April 2012 (UTC)MarleenMarleen12301 (talk) 15:46, 22 April 2012 (UTC) suggestion: include link to: http: Neighborhoods of Albany,New York--Palisades1 15:32, 11 October 2012 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Palisades1 (talk • contribs)

July 2010 copy edits
Hi, I am enjoying getting started on copy edits of the article and have found some issues that are best dealt with now, before you go to GA. Here is what I have discovered so far. (Brace yourself: There's a few problems):
 * The article has overlinking to common words. I removed some as I went along but more will have to be removed.
 * Feel free to remove overlinks; after all this time, I kind of linked where I felt it was necessary for a respective section. Overlinks need to be removed, and sometimes I find it hard to keep track. Please feel free to do so!  upstate NYer  05:13, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * This report shows that access dates are missing from some of your web citations. Plus there are two dead links, and one blacklisted website.
 * I've looked at this report. I'm currently waiting on one source, which has gone mysteriously dead (I don't know why); but the user that inserted it has been informed. Hopefully that will change soon. The other links "claimed" to be dead (NRHP, NHL) are in fact not dead; the report is wrong.  upstate NYer  05:13, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * This has been happening lately; I don't know why either. -- Diannaa (Talk) 06:01, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * You state that the Dongan Charter may be the longest running intrument of govt on the continent, but there is no source supplied for this claim. Can you find a source that claims this? If not, it should be removed.
 * It is given in the Albany, New York section (if need be, do a Find search on "Western Hemisphere" and you'll find the reference I mean.  upstate NYer  05:13, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * No worries, I just didn't get down that far yet and wanted to be sure it was cited. -- Diannaa (Talk) 06:01, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * POV: Some of the language in the section describing civic and architectural accomplishments of the 20th century does not meet NPOV requirements. The word "clout" does not strike me as encyclopedic. I can help with this but I do not have the topic-specific knowledge so you will have to monitor my edits closely once I start working this over, to make sure no inaccuracies are introduced.
 * Will monitor you as need be; though "clout" is a very appropriate word (in many instances, the mayor doesn't so much have "power" as "influence" and in this case, "influence" is more appropriately referred to as "clout". But I will keep an eye out and we can discuss any proposed changes.  upstate NYer  05:13, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * "Influence" is a good substitute. Perhaps you could consider writing up a couple of sentences to introduce this concept for readers in other parts of the world whose local govt does not work this way, and put it in the history section (1950s-1960s)? Its up to you of course but it might be a good inclusion. -- Diannaa (Talk) 06:01, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * OK thats it for the bad news. Sorry if it comes across as a little much all at once.  The article is interesting and I will do some more copy edits and improvements tomorrow. Regards, -- Diannaa  (Talk) 03:23, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Not bad news at all. This article has been needing a separate pair of eyes to read it over. Please be open on the rest of the copyedit (I know the article is a bit long, but it's definitely thorough).  upstate NYer  05:13, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * PS this article has more than 10,000 words (just barely), so your copyedit should get you another award at the end. :)  upstate NYer  05:16, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Suggestion: The History section is long and could use a couple of sub-section breaks. I am off to do some RL things and will resume later today. -- Diannaa  (Talk) 20:49, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Took a stab at that. I didn't exactly write it to be split up so I did my best.  upstate NYer  21:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * You could always leave those section headers out, and introduce them only if your GA reviewer asks for them. -- Diannaa (Talk) 00:25, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * This sentence needs to be re-worked as the meaning is not clear. "Note that populations of one race, black or African American, for example, make up 28.14% of the total population, but 29.00% of people reporting only one race, which makes up 97.02% of the population." If you could elaborate as to the meaning, I will know how to re-word it for greater clarity. Thanks. -- Diannaa (Talk) 00:23, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * I just rewrote that. The example was unnecessary detail when it's really just a simple comment.  upstate NYer  01:16, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * OK thanks. Now it is super clear. I am done the copy edits. Good luck with your GA application. :-)) -- Diannaa (Talk) 01:25, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

Hollywood on the Hudson
With the releases of Salt and The Other Guys, both of which have action scenes filmed in Albany it may be a good time to add a subsection somewhere on the many movies (and books) that take place in Albany, or written, produced, filmed in Albany. Some are mentioned in the article Culture in New York's Capital District.Camelbinky (talk) 21:37, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm on it.  upstate NYer  21:49, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Did Melville write any books while in Albany? McEneny doesn't even have an entry in the index for him, but his article states he was here for about ten years and we even have the marker at right.  upstate NYer  22:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * That is a good question, I know that building on Clinton Square you mention was for most of Herman's time living there owned by his brother (according to Rittner), Moby-Dick is the only book of Melville's I happen to know off-hand and that I believe was written in Berkshire County; I'll start doing some research but if you get some chance you may want to call or stop by the Lansingburgh Historical Society they are located in the Herman Melville House in Lansingb. and probably would have that information.Camelbinky (talk) 22:44, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
 * I havent found after a Google search of Herman Melville biographies any mention of any novel written by him while in Albany, it seems his life here was prior to his career.Camelbinky (talk) 01:09, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Bummer.  upstate NYer  01:18, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * I just realized looking at the photo of the historical marker that he would have lived there from age 15 to 19, I think it's realistic to assume that he didn't do any major writing at that age. And yes, that is a bummer! We still have Trevanian and Kennedy however.Camelbinky (talk) 03:16, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Wondering if this is still needed as a source for Albany being the oldest remaining settlement from the 13 Colonies?Camelbinky (talk) 23:39, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
 * I think we're good on that. Also, I'm not sure how I'd cite that link anyway.  upstate NYer  00:26, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

Pine Barrens Sand Dunes
I'm not familiar with the term 'pine barrens sand dunes,' but it would appear to be a plural, and the sentences in the article treat it as a singular noun. The grammar jars somewhat. Shouldn't something like 'pine barrens sand dunes area' or 'landscape' be used? Mdw0 (talk) 22:55, 1 February 2012 (UTC)

Demonym
The use of the term Albanian as a demonym is attributed to a single author. I can find no other sources that use this term, and as a one time resident of the region, I never once heard this term used. Can any one find another source that uses this term? If not, can we consider this a legitimate demomyn? WikiDan61 ChatMe!ReadMe!! 04:31, 21 February 2012 (UTC)
 * Albany Rural Cemetery makes use of the word, city government uses the term. In fact, I would ask you just Google resident of albany albanians. There are a lot of relevant hits. Some are from the TU, some from books hosted on Google, some from local blogs, etc. This is proof unto itself that locals seem to use the word, albeit sparingly. But they do use it, and not some other one-word term. Also, the author of that single book is Jack McEneny, both a historian and assemblyman from Albany. His credentials would make him pretty reliable.  upstate NYer  04:59, 21 February 2012 (UTC)
 * OK, I'm sold. Never heard it or encountered it before, and my own searches were not proving fruitful.  Thanks for the due diligence.  WikiDan61 ChatMe!ReadMe!! 13:11, 21 February 2012 (UTC)