Talk:Alcohol myopia

Citation formatting
Bold textI am unaware of how to put in proper citations. This information was taken from a text book. "Health Psychology, An Introduction to Behavior and Health" Sixth Edition by, Linda Brannon & Jess Feist (2007) Harris77 (talk) 21:36, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Research project
We are students at Middlebury College in Vermont. We will be editing this page from 11/11/13 to 12/7/13 for a research project in our Introduction to Neuroscience class. Khobbs2017 (talk). Lily Taub (talk) 15:16, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 1
Firstly, The page visually looks fantastic. It is very visually pleasing and is easy to follow along with without any distraction. However, I would consider revisions that would allow the effect on neurotransmission section to be more concise, especially the last few sentences. Also, for the sake of the wikipedia world, I would also suggest to attempt to site some of your explanations from the sources you already have provided(I wouldn't want to suggest more work) so that your explanations are backed by some sort of reliable source. I really think you guys did a good job trying to link this page to as many other pages as possible which satisfies the overall purpose of this project. I would caution you to refrain from the very definitive diction however because it seems that alcohol myopia is slightly more of a theory that encompasses so many various variables that its effects cannot always be so concrete. So, instead of using phrases such as "alter behavior and decision" maybe use words like "distorts" or "skews". However, that is just a suggestion because if my understanding is correct it seems very much theory based rather than fact.Mpicon1212 (talk) 02:37, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 2
I agree with Mpicon1212 (talk) in regards to the formatting used. I appreciate how the sections are clearly divided with the use of spaces, bold, and italics. It makes it a lot simpler to follow and to understand what that section, or paragraph, is referring to.

However, there are a few revisions I would recommend be made:
 * 1) The introduction portion of the wikipage is meant to be a quick summary of what the full article is to cover. A reader looks to the introduction to quickly discover what will be mentioned on the body, and find out if what they are searching for will be included. A reader should not have to read through four paragraphs to figure this information out.  Most of the information mentioned in the intro paragraph of this page should be in the body. Studies should not be mentioned here, and concepts should not be fully explained. Save those things for later,
 * 2) Wording: Intro- "This occurs because alcohol dampens the processing ability of the brain in terms of attentional capacity see attention and so the brain processes the most important (salient) and simple cues." Should that be in parenthesis?
 * 3) Alcohol on Neurotransmitters: GABA is not the only neurotransmitter alcohol affects. You should probably mention it's affects on glutamate here as well.
 * 4) Missing word: Inhibition Conflict, 1st sentence- missing the word "is"
 * 5) Consistency: Personal goals, sexual arousal, and drunk driving are formatted different than previous headings. If they are meant to be separate sections, keep consistency with the previous formatting of headings (risky behavior, three classes, etc.) If they are meant to be sub-headings for risky behavior, keep consistency with the formatting of previous sub headings (i.e. self-inflation, relief, and excess of previous section): either make them italicized to match previous sub-headings or bold the previous sub-headings to match them.
 * 6) References: The first reference on the reference section is not listed with a [1]. Also, references 2 and 6 are the same. This should be edited to appear as the same number.
 * 7) References cont.: few more references should be added to this article seeing as it has so much information. For example: "In sober individuals, situations that produce an inhibition conflict would consist of one set of salient cues (external stimuli) that stimulate a certain response and other cues (internal stimuli such as possible negative consequences or societal standards and norms) that would inhibit the salient cues and therefore prevent rash action." This DEFINITELY needs a citation.

Overall, I applaud how very throughly everything is linked to other wikipages, and how throughly all concepts are explained. With those two things, no one should have a problem understanding what is written. With the revisions mentioned above this article would be practically perfect. Janessaaag (talk) 05:02, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 3
This page exceeded my expectations of what it could be. You gave a lot of detail to something I thought was very simple, and I appreciate your efforts. Only a few things struck me as needing revision. First, your introduction seems to delve to deeply into alcohol myopia and does not fully address some interesting issues, such as the idea expressed in the very last sentence of the introduction. Try to focus on keeping things simple in the introduction. Also, at the end of your second paragraph of the introduction, you might benefit from adding a simple statement to the end of the last statement that explicitly states that drunk people act on impulse. You have an extra space at the end of the section "Alcohol's Effects on Neurotransmission" and elsewhere in the paper, so I would look through carefully to make sure you eliminate those. Regarding that section, I really like it because it is very informative and gives a good background, however I might expand on the exact behavioral changes this can cause. The next section, "The Inhibition Conflict," is also great; however, I suggest a few changes. I would simplify the first sentence to something like "Alcohol mypoia amplifies rash responses in intoxicated individuals" or add "is" between 'myopia' and 'that' at the beginning of the sentence. Also, while I am reading the section I am left wondering if inhibition conflict extends itself to other drugs effects or if it is strictly applicable to alcohol. In the second paragraph of this section I would add a simple example to aid in understanding. The last paragraph does this a little bit, but an extra one in the second paragraph would be beneficial in my opinion. The phrase "noxious tones" in the last paragraph does not sound like your own words- if it is than I would still change it- and I do not quite understand what that means. Finding a different way to describe the tones would aid in understanding of the experiment. Overall, your page is laid out very well with one exception. The "Three Classes..." section might benefit from turning the italicized words into actual subsections that are bolded. The italics does not really conform to Wikipedia formatting standards and the bolding would emphazize the sub-sections. There is an extra space at the end of the first sentence in self-inflation. Also, the idea of self-inflation seems under-represented. There are counter-arguments to this idea you might want to address. Lastly, in the relief section you might be able to add something about alcoholism because it seems that alcohol mypoa and its relief effects could play a role in the development of alcoholism in individuals. Great job! Corrineleblanc (talk) 06:11, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 4
Well done on the thoroughness of presenting your topic, but there are a few revisions I might suggest to clarify all the great information you've included:


 * 1) The second paragraph of your introduction seems to have some redundancies; since you write on the mechanisms of salient cues later, it seems this particular section could be summarized more concisely for the introduction.
 * 2) The inhibition conflict:In addition to the dropped 'is' Janessa pointed out, in the following sentence ('Alcohol does not directly effect the emotions and actions...'), I think the word 'effect' should be replaced with affect to convey the intended meaning (that alcohol does not directly influence emotions and actions).
 * 3) When discussing the tendency to act rashly, you seem to assert that salient cues are always tied to rash behavior. However, your introduction makes note of studies in which the salient cues produced pacifying or more prudent behavior - these should be acknowledged and elaborated upon in this section or the next.
 * 4) The Zeichner/Phil study provides valuable information but I think this paragraph could also be condensed more succinctly by combining certain sentences (such as the first two). Also, since the study seems to only provide data concerning men, it might round out the page to reference a study focusing on alcohol myopia and women (such as Alcohol use and high-risk sexual behavior among collegiate women: a review of research on alcohol myopia theory. - this might also supplement the later Sexual Arousal sub-section well.)
 * 5) Types of myopia: This section provides a great fundamental breakdown of the factors comprising alcohol myopia - so much so that maybe it should be the first or second section on the page rather than the third?
 * 6) When discussing the sober brain vs. the drunk brain's ability to use the prefrontal cortex/make judgments, it might be helpful to elaborate more on how this process of decision-making usually occurs (possibly referencing heuristics in judgment and decision making?)
 * 7) Risky behavior: Similar effect/affect error in the first paragraph; I think you mean "Dosage of alcohol intensifies these effects of myopia."

Otherwise seems to be looking good! I hope this was helpful.--Angelinerodriguez (talk) 06:50, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 5
Hi guys, overall good job! There seems to be some references missing in the neurotransmission section for GABA. Please make sure the information for the first few paragraphs is properly cited. Same for the earlier paragraphs of inhibition conflict and personal goals. Be sure to cite your sources properly. See your talk page for more direction on how to talk about the experiments you discuss in various sections. (User talk:Midd Intro Neuro) —Preceding undated comment added 20:00, 3 December 2013 (UTC)

Response 1
Hey guys! All of your suggestions were great and I addressed most of them.

All of the grammatical/organizational errors are cleared up. I coordinated the organization of the "Risky Behavior" and "Three Classes of Alcohol Myopia" sections, and condensed the "Inhibition Conflict" section to try to make it a little more clear.

I also added dialogue about the effects of alcohol myopia on women to the "Inhibition Conflict" section, as Angelinerodriguez suggested. I do think that adding comments about how alcohol myopia can affect women as well as men rounded out my discussion of the topic, as reader's should keep in mind that the effects of alcohol myopia do not discriminate based on gender.

The only thing I had trouble addressing was Corrineleblanc's suggestion that there be a mention of how the inhibition conflict is involved in the mechanisms of other drugs. I do think this would be an interesting point to address, though I had trouble finding sources that discussed a drug(s) that operated in a way similar to alcohol myopia in its involvement of the inhibition conflict. Lilytaub (talk) 03:16, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

Response 2
Thank you for all of your constructive and thoughtful comments!

I followed Angelinerodriguez's suggestion and moved the "Three Classes of Myopia" section to the beginning of the article. I agree that this move is helpful for the reader as it provides a comprehensive explanation of the theory before we begin to address more specific components of the topic.

I added the necessary citations to the "Effect on Neurotransmission" section per (User talk:Midd Intro Neuro)'s advisement.

I really appreciate Janessaaag and Angelinerodriguez's suggestions to make the introduction more focused and concise. I agree that this section could be strengthened in these ways. This section was written before the start of our project so when working on the page I did not feel comfortable changing another editor's contributions. However, after your comments I agreed that this section was very important to the overall clarity of our topic. Therefore, I went back and did my best to improve the introduction without deleting the original content. I moved the last two paragraphs, which dealt with specific studies, to appropriate later sections. For example, I moved the note about sexual behavior to our "Sexual Arousal" section. I hope that the introduction now provides a more concise and interesting presentation of the topic!

Lastly, following Angelinerodriguez's suggestion, I elaborated on my comment in the "Excess" section that the Alcohol Myopia Model does not always spark aggressive behavior. I noted that when inhibitory cues are the most salient, an individual may act more passively than when sober.

Khobbs2017 (talk)