Talk:Alec Empire/Archive 1

Rewrite
I like the new biog. very well written! Keiron22, 23 January 2006
 * Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it! Dwdmang 17:00, 15 March 2006 (UTC)

Empire's alleged bisexuality
I have removed the category "Bisexual musicians", because I'm not entirely sure that it is true. Of course, I have no evidence for this, but would somebody else be able to validate it here for accuracy's sake? Dwdmang 13:53, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

Failed GA Nomination
Hi all,

I have done a review according to the standards listed at What_is_a_good_article? as per the Good article review process and unfortuantely have to inform you that I find the article is not quite up to GA status at the moment. Please do not take offence at this and instead I hope that my comments will help to improve the article so that it can pass a future GA nomination.

Here are a few of the reasons that I felt the article was not GA standard:


 * NPOV: "who has also generated respect for his solo work" - who has he generated respect with and how can this be sources?
 * No citation: "His mother was the daughter of the inventor of the first domestic knitting machine, a self-made millionaire until his company went bankrupt upon his death".
 * NPOV: "led to him becoming one of Berlin's best breakdancers" - the source is by the artist so I believe this should be rewritten to say that the artist believed himself to be one of the best breakdancers etc.
 * NPOV: "He therefore developed a social conscience at a relatively early age" - this has been inferred by the author; we should aim to present facts and let the reader make deductions based upon them.
 * Uncompelling prose (just one example): "The label also invited DHR artists to tour the US. This would lead to recognition by MTV and alternative radio stations." I'd suggest that this should be one sentence seperated by a command replacing "this" with "which". I believe that quite a few sentences within this article need reworking to be deemable as compelling prose.
 * List: article degenerates into a very long list - consider seperating out the discography into new articles.
 * Images: could we have some more images, even if it is only album covers or the such like?
 * Citation: I believe that many more citations would be needed to bring this article to GA standard - remember that anything that is unsourced or unverifiable can technically be removed by another editor!

As I said, I hope this helps you improve the article and I look forward to seeing it back on the GA nominations page soon. Good work all!

Martin Hinks 18:39, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

A couple more points to supplement Martin's excellent review:
 * The lead is way too short given the article length. See WP:LEAD
 * I think Empire's discography is of a sufficient length to be split into a seperate article (see e.g. The Shamen and The Shamen discography). --kingboyk 20:15, 2 October 2006 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the comments. I can see there's some work to be done. I've made a start by creating Alec Empire discography. With a little more work, this will become a good article. I'm determined to make it so. Dwdmang 22:12, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
 * That's the spirit! Good luck. --kingboyk 22:51, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
 * Cool work on the discog Dwdmang - thanks for the extra points that I missed kingboy! Martin Hinks 07:15, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
 * Took a shot at cleaning things up. -- Shoejartalk/edits
 * Nice one. Good work, Shoejar! Däv 21:38, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Pics
Good work on uplaoding the images, AlexOvShaolin. I had the intention of getting my lazy ass into gear and sprucing up the page but you've beaten me to it. Funnily enough I had the exact same image of ATR in mind...

Däv 22:08, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

East/West Berlin
"Empire currently lives in the former East Berlin, where his studio is located." - that is not correct. though his studio is located in former east berlin (as far is i know), he does live in the western part. i cannot quote official sources for that one, but at least delete the information if it can't be proven otherwise.- besides that, nice article anyway. -Flechtwerk 19:56, 5 January 2007
 * Changed final paragraph of biog, omitting the above. Dāv 00:12, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

DJ Mowgly Merge?
I made this article a while ago, and since i found it was actually Alec behind the name, should it be merged with this article? Kamikaze Deadboy 22:37 17 March 2007 (UTC)
 * I think maybe it should be moved to a new article about the Cook EP, as well as Nintendo Teenage Robots with We Punk Einheit (although the latter article already has the infobox for that album). Since these were the only recordings by Empire under these names, the articles on the recordings themselves would be the best place for the relevant information about them. I feel that adding this information to the main article as it currently stands would somewhat interrupt the flow. I may proceed to add a new section to the discography and move any recordings by Alec's alter-egos there. Dāv 23:55, 19 March 2007 (UTC)
 * Ok, i redirected both articles to there actual album titles, they just need a little editing here and there. Kamikaze Deadboy 01:06 23 March 2007 (UTC)

GA on hold
I got this page watchlisted so if you have any queries leave a message here and I'll get back to you. M3tal H3ad 05:36, 9 April 2007 (UTC)
 * The current infobox image fails FUC#1 He is still alive and active so a freely licensed photo can easily be taken.
 * His mother was the daughter of the inventor of the first domestic knitting machine, a self-made millionaire until his company went bankrupt upon his death. This sentence was confusing at first, can you name the inventor of the knitting machine to make it clear it's a man.
 * Next paragraph "He grew up during the Cold War near the Berlin Wall, which he would pass every day on his way to school." is this his dad or Alec? the last paragraph is about his dad.
 * Empire's love of rap led -> rap music (clearer understanding). This sentence could also be re-worded - At the age of ten, Empire's love of rap music led to a career in breakdancing on the streets of Berlin. But whatever
 * Die Kinder is bolded, only text in the first sentence of the article should be bolded, release as Nintendo Teenage Robots no bolding here also
 * Images need fair use rationales
 * Discography should be in list format like here. Why? because Wikipedia tries to use the least amount of fair use media to become a free encyclopedia. The album pictures also add nothing to this article. If you disagree with this i'm open for discussion.
 * Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “ All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
 * Per Manual of Style (headings), avoid using special characters (ex: &+{}:[]) in headings.
 * Nothing done, failed. M3tal H3ad 03:21, 14 April 2007 (UTC)