Talk:Alfie (Lily Allen song)/GA1

GA Review
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Hi all, I'll be reviewing "Alfie" against the GA criterias. Please ping me back in case of any querries with the reviews. --Legolas ( talk 2 me ) 08:41, 9 September 2009 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Please read my comments below
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Please replace the following unreliable sources:-
 * Setlist.fm
 * Videology-Tv (copyright infringement)
 * Also, citations are not proper at all. For eg in the Allmusic link for Alright, Still, there is no mention of the work and publisher criteria. Check this for all the citations. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 05:16, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * File:LilyA AlfieEPJapanOnly.jpg needs to be reduced to 300x300 size.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * On hold for seven days untill the improvements happen. Main problem with the article is prose but after the improvements stated below, it can surely be improved. Let me know once they are donw. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 05:16, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Looks fine for passing it to GA. Congratulations! 04:46, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * On hold for seven days untill the improvements happen. Main problem with the article is prose but after the improvements stated below, it can surely be improved. Let me know once they are donw. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 05:16, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Looks fine for passing it to GA. Congratulations! 04:46, 16 September 2009 (UTC)

Points

 * 1) was released as the fouth and final --> spelling mistake
 * 2) Why are the dates linked in the infobox? Please remove per wp:overlink.
 * 3) The accompanying music video portrayed Allen's brother in form of a puppet, while the actions it makes go as according to the lyrics. --> Doesnot make sense. Try The accompanying music video portrayed Allen's brother as a puppet while the storyline follows the lyrical meaning of the song.
 * 4) Musically, the song is set in common time and has a metronome of 120 beats per minute;[1] while played in the key of C major and with backing piano and guitar sounds,[1] "Alfie" also samples from Sandie Shaw's 1967 Eurovision Song Contest winning song "Puppet on a String".
 * Please separate these two lines. Wrong usage of semicolon.
 * 1) "Alfie" also samples from --> Alfie also uses a sample from
 * 2) Lyrically, Allen stated this song is about her brother, Alfie Owen-Allen's behaviours, while discussing her progress in the musical career, in an interview with Pitchfork Media:
 * Problem again. You need to separate such long snaky lines. Try In an interview with Pitchfork Media, Allen stated that the song is about her brother Alfie Owen-Allen. She further explained: (then the quotes)
 * 1) Owen Allen treated the song with good humour, but declared, when Allen was pregnant, that she was lazy too: --> Owen Allen treated the song with good humour, but declared that Allen was also lazy when she was pregnant: better cohesion.
 * 2) Rosie Swash form The Guardian described the song's sound as "fairground pomp", also suggesting that Allen has fused together a --> chop up from also.
 * 3) Slant magazine is an online magazine and doesnot need to be italicized.
 * 4) Priya Elan considered that if the pop dreams get slightly tarnished by the graffiti put-downs of "Not Big" and "Alfie", then that's not too worrying, as "with a personality this size, this isn’t the last time you’ll be hearing from [Allen]". --> This whole thing, starting from if is a quote and use it as such. Otherwise its plain plagiarism.
 * 5) It was considered by reviewer Ronan Hunt-Murphey that the song could be  --> Ronan Hunt-Murphy from where?
 * 6) The single was not a commercial success, as it debuted at forty-four and peaked inside the top twenty, at number fifteen, on the UK Singles Chart, for only one week, where it charted as the double A-sided single, "Alfie"/"Shame for You". --> Chop again. Try The single failed to achieve commercial success. It debuted at forty-four and peaked inside the top twenty of the UK Singles Chart, at number fifteen for only one week, where it charted as the double A-sided single, "Alfie"/"Shame for You".
 * 7) The music video was directed by Sarah Chatfield[17] and, originally, Allen wasn't going to be part of it, Chatfield describing she wanted do to a Tom and Jerry-like video, where the human character cut off at the waist. --> Chop again. Try The music video was directed by Sarah Chatfield who wanted do to a Tom and Jerry-like video, where the human character cut off at the waist. Hence Allen wasnot going to be part of it originally.
 * 8) In the end, she did appear; the video starts off with an opening title parodying --> However, she did appear on the video, which starts off with an opening title parodying''
 * 9)  proceeds in masturbating -->  proceeds for masterbation
 * 10)  birds sing outisde the home --> spelling
 * 11) her brother dance; after the last lyrics --> Two separate sentences
 * 12) Credits and personnel use – between
 * 13) Remove youtube link from External links, leadds to copyright vio.
 * These are the faults present in the article. Others are also mentioned in the GA review criteria, in between them. Please correct them and let me know. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 05:16, 11 September 2009 (UTC)

Wow, never knew this article had so many mistakes. Anyway, I resolved every problem, except one: the sources. I've replaced the two, but I simply could not find another source for the director's quote, so... I kept videology for that one. It doesn't seem unreliable to me, though. I've searched the Internet for hours, using every key word that came into my mind, but nothing; Allen is not that popular. Should I remove the quote? --12345abcxyz20082009 (talk) 13:35, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Videology-Tv is definitely a copyright infringement. Im sure you can find that video in MTv website or at Allen's official site. If not, then Im afraid it has to go. Also, please check the reference formatting as stated above. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 09:33, 14 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Just when I thought I struck gold... fine, I took out the quote, put it between, just in case I might find a reliable source in the future. MTV does not have the video, just mtv.co.uk, but it isn't available for those outside the UK; also, there aren't any comments regarding the making of it. Her official website only embeds the video from YouTube, and it's not even the original one, but the censored version. Anyway, I've put the publisher companies of the websites. I hope it's all fine now. --12345abcxyz20082009 (talk) 11:58, 15 September 2009 (UTC)