Talk:Alice Gray/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:00, 17 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments
 * Where is the E. in Alice E. Gray referenced?
 * ✅ In the Courant, but doesn't say what E stands for. Added the ref inline.
 * Is "origamist" a real word? Our category calls her an "origami artist".
 * You'd love the one I originally had: "origamian" (which does seem to be used in some places in addition to the magazine title). But I figured err on the side of our list: List of origamists.
 * "entomologist," is linked twice in the lead.
 * "June 7, 1914 to " comma after 1914.
 * "farmer mother" well the source says she was a farmer's daughter, so not necessarily.
 * Good point. Tried to find anything else about them, but couldn't. Didn't see a good way to word this without duplicating the source so broke into two little sentences. Eh. ✅ though.
 * "biology and entomology" probably comma after this.
 * Is it Teachers College or Teacher's College? Infobox and article disagree.
 * ✅ the former.
 * " treasure... " ellipsis usage here requires a non-breaking space before the three periods.
 * Master of Science is usually singular.
 * Our article calls it "Friends of the Origami Center of America" i.e. of America.
 * What's AMNH? Add this after the fully expanded version.
 * "with well-known " unnecessary.
 * "by artist Michael LaFosse" is this notable?
 * I'm not an origamian origamist, but it seems like LaFosse is fairly well known? If it were self-published, I wouldn't include it, but since it's appeared in two books published by Tuttle Publishing, I figure it's not all that different (from a RS/WEIGHT point of view) from if he had written a few lines about her and citing that. &mdash; Rhododendrites  talk \\ 19:12, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "president of the organization she helped to found, the Friends of the Origami Center of America," you already said she was the founder of this.
 * What's AMNH? Add this after the fully expanded version.
 * "with well-known " unnecessary.
 * "by artist Michael LaFosse" is this notable?
 * I'm not an origamian origamist, but it seems like LaFosse is fairly well known? If it were self-published, I wouldn't include it, but since it's appeared in two books published by Tuttle Publishing, I figure it's not all that different (from a RS/WEIGHT point of view) from if he had written a few lines about her and citing that. &mdash; Rhododendrites  talk \\ 19:12, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "president of the organization she helped to found, the Friends of the Origami Center of America," you already said she was the founder of this.
 * "by artist Michael LaFosse" is this notable?
 * I'm not an origamian origamist, but it seems like LaFosse is fairly well known? If it were self-published, I wouldn't include it, but since it's appeared in two books published by Tuttle Publishing, I figure it's not all that different (from a RS/WEIGHT point of view) from if he had written a few lines about her and citing that. &mdash; Rhododendrites  talk \\ 19:12, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "president of the organization she helped to found, the Friends of the Origami Center of America," you already said she was the founder of this.

That's all I have for this brief article. I'll put it on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 16:52, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * thanks for taking the time. I think I've fixed and/or responded to all of the above. &mdash; Rhododendrites  talk \\ 19:12, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Hey, I appreciate the quick turnaround on this. The one thing I forgot to mention was that the lead seems a little brief.  I think it could easily be doubled in size.  Everything  else seems fine, but if you could beef up the intro, I'll take a look  ASAP.  The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 20:09, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Ok. Expanded it a bit. Thanks. &mdash; Rhododendrites  talk \\ 21:17, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Great work. Happy with this so I'm promoting.  The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:47, 18 April 2020 (UTC)