Talk:Aliza Shvarts/Archive 1

"demanded"
Perhaps "demanded that Shvarts submit an alternate thesis" could be replaced with "suggested that Shvarts submit an alternate thesis" or other wording. The NY Times source says that the school demanded that she cease the project they deemed problematic, but our saying that they "demanded" an alternate thesis seems dictatorial, to me. (Minor point.) Keep up the good work! Bus stop (talk) 14:54, 30 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Changed to "requested." (Demanded is perhaps more accurate, but I agree, seems strong for Wiki. "Suggested" seems too weak: it's not really a suggestion if she couldn't graduate without submitting another thesis. "Requested" as a good midpoint between the two?) And thanks :) —Vera Syuzhet (talk) 15:11, 30 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Yes, "requested" is a good idea. I hadn't thought of that. Which is more important—graduating school or being true to art? An uncompromising artist might forgo graduating school. Bus stop (talk) 15:17, 30 May 2018 (UTC)

legibility
The lead says "...and How does it feel to be a fiction (2017),[9] have expanded on these themes of consent and legibility." What does "legibility" refer to? Bus stop (talk) 00:47, 31 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Maybe "representation" is a better word? Here, I used "legibility" to mean how legible/visible one is as a subject in the eyes of power, and the ways in which one's personhood is read. —Vera Syuzhet (talk) 00:58, 31 May 2018 (UTC)
 * "Visibility" might get at that idea better. Bus stop (talk) 01:13, 31 May 2018 (UTC)
 * I've removed that for now. Bus stop (talk) 07:13, 31 May 2018 (UTC)