Talk:All of My Friends Were There/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:28, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

This is going to be reviewed by me today! --K. Peake 10:28, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Since the actual recording month is not known, change to merely 1968 in the infobox
 * But it's known that it's either July or October.


 * Pye is linked both in the studio and label parameters leading to the exact same article, so only keep one
 * One goes to Pye Studios and the other to Pye Records. The former redirects to the latter because there isn't an article for it, but there could be someday, so I think that means they both ought to be kept.


 * Mention in the first sentence that it is from their sixth studio album, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
 * Done.


 * The second sentence should be written/sung and recorded period
 * Done.


 * "concert where Davies fell" → "concert during which Davies fell"
 * Done.


 * Make the third sentence the one about the musical style, then the lyrical content in another sentence or more
 * Done.


 * "The recording features" → "The song features"
 * In the reword, is "Its" fine? I just want to avoid the repetition ("the song... the song... the song...).


 * "while its style indicated" → "while its style showcased"
 * Done.

Background and composition

 * Quote box looks good!
 * "was further inspired by" → "was also inspired by"
 * Done.


 * "from Davies's time spent" → "from his time spent"
 * Done.


 * Swap the second and third paras for the correct comp order
 * Done.


 * I don't think "In writing" is really appropriate at the start of the para; maybe try something like when writing or through the writing of?
 * Changed to the former.


 * "all of his friends there" → "all of them there" to be less repetitive
 * Done.


 * "describes the ending" → "describes the ending as"
 * Done.


 * "sense of companionship."" → "sense of companionship"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Done.


 * Pipe metre to Metre (music)
 * Done.


 * Pipe chorus to Refrain
 * Done.


 * Shouldn't you use the plural of lead vocal instead for Davies?
 * I'm not sure what the convention is in British English. I see the FA Sgt. Pepper uses both.


 * Wouldn't it be better to reword to mentioning something about the pitch instead of writing intonation?
 * The source (Rogan 2015) says "posh intonation", but doesn't mention the pitch. I've changed it to "posh tone".


 * "closes the song awkwardly and" → "is an awkward closer and"
 * What's wrong with the original wording?

Recording and release

 * Quote box looks good!
 * "to expand its track listing to fifteen," → "to expand it to fifteen tracks,"
 * Done.


 * "though it possibly dated" → "though the song is possibly dated"
 * Done.


 * Remove the word magazine after The Village Voice
 * Done.


 * "He suggests the song displays" → "He suggested the song demonstrates"
 * Done.


 * "song", calling it" → "song", calling the song"
 * Done.


 * "of the band's next" → "of the band's succeeding"
 * Done.


 * "instead thinks the song" → "instead considers the song"
 * Done.


 * "of the village green."" → "of the village green"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Done.

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; nice article once again! --K. Peake 11:15, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks again, comments and responses above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 18:27, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
 * About the recording date in the infobox, simply change to 1968 because that is the know year and or for either month is not a good idea and the awkwardly part needs rewording to avoid overusage of the song. --K. Peake 07:38, 4 August 2022 (UTC)
 * gotcha, I reworded the "awkwardly" part. Is there anything in the MOS about the infobox dating? Template:Infobox song doesn't provide any guidance, nor does MOS:ALBUM#Dating. I still feel its better as is than the broader "1968".  Tkbrett  (✉) 15:27, 4 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Not that I'm aware of, however I'd advise against adding unspecific dates to infoboxes. --K. Peake 07:13, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
 * if it's really a personal preference thing and not anything in the MOS, I preferred to keep it as for the reasons above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 12:17, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Maybe you could add a note to the infobox clarifying this? --K. Peake 07:44, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
 * , sure, does this look okay?  Tkbrett  (✉) 11:15, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, the note works perfectly! --K. Peake 16:41, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks!  Tkbrett  (✉) 11:47, 7 August 2022 (UTC)