Talk:Allessandro Liberati/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Tomcat7 (talk · contribs) 12:56, 20 December 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * When was File:Liberati Portrait.png shot? Likewise File:Liberati in millitary.jpeg.
 * The portrait was shot for a local newspaper (His American hometown Detriot) in 1923, and the military uniform was found appearing on the Library of Congress
 * The first in Warsaw Union the second loc.gov ---Saw1998 (talk) 14:05, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
 * That should be noted in the picture summaries
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * The portrait was shot for a local newspaper (His American hometown Detriot) in 1923, and the military uniform was found appearing on the Library of Congress
 * The first in Warsaw Union the second loc.gov ---Saw1998 (talk) 14:05, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
 * That should be noted in the picture summaries
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

I made some copyedits.
 * The major issue with this article are the POV wordings that are teeming in the Style section. An example is "In 1895, he became known for establishing now a well-known tradition of circus bands when be began traveling with the superstars of the circus world, the Ringling Brothers, for whom he opened performances of their popular circus gaiety.[12]" - the underlined is not defined exactly (and is confusing), and the italicized wordings are too expressive for an encyclopedia.
 * What is his nationality? The first sentence should include his date of birth and date of death, per WP:OPENPARA
 * That he was a virtuoso should not be merely noted in the lead
 * Only the infobox informs us when he was born or died. So, there should be more information regarding that, such as the cause of his death.
 * You use the +ing form too often. For example, instead of "he was also known for being a respectable bandleader for" you could just write "he was a respectable bandleader". The prose will become more engaging.
 * "He married his wife, Elsie, in 1881. They lived in New York and had one daughter." is unreferenced. What was his daughter's name? Perhaps add more information to his family life.--Tomcat (7) 20:34, 25 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Most of the concerns remain unaddressed, so failing this. Wizardman  23:58, 13 January 2013 (UTC)