Talk:Alodia/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 21:29, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Criteria
 Good Article Status - Review Criteria   		A good article is&mdash;  :
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

:
 * (a) ;
 * (b) ;
 * (c) ; and
 * (d).

:
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

. . :
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).



Review
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Discussion
References
 * Poncet is missing a publisher and location. (W. Lewis and London)
 * Tsakos and Kleinitz is missing a date of publication.

Prose.
 * "According to John, the Alodian king was aware of the baptisms of Nobadia in 543 (Miaphysite branch) and Makuria around 568/569 (Melkite branch)." Mention of the two branches makes no sense other than to the most technical of experts. You need to explain the terms, and/or link them, or at a push delete them.
 * "such as those in Musawwarat es-Sufra, for example." You can use "such as" or "for example"; using both is redundant.
 * "Droughts, which occurred in Africa between 1150 and 1500,". This reads oddly, it suggests that droughts didn't occur outside this period.
 * The last paragraph of Causes of decline is a little long. Is it possible to split it?
 * "with 150 "captaincies" residing on both sides of the Nile". You need to explain what captaincies are. (People? Places? Tribal groups?)

Copy edit.
 * I have done some minor copy editing as I have gone along. If you don't like anything let me know and we can discuss it.
 * In your block quote the ellipses shouldn't be in brackets.

It is looking pretty good. More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:25, 18 May 2018 (UTC)
 * @Gog the Mild Concerning point four: the thing is that the whole paragraph is about the same topic, i.e. the arrival and settlement of the Arabs. It also doesn't seem to be that much longer than paragraph one of the "Aftermath" chapter or the "Geographical extent" paragraph/chapter. LeGabrie (talk) 18:46, 19 May 2018 (UTC)
 * No worries. It is not a fail issue. If I were the author I would break it. But I can see why you prefer not to. Ping me when you have finished work on the article. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:51, 19 May 2018 (UTC)
 * @Gog the Mild Reworked the other four points. LeGabrie (talk) 19:31, 19 May 2018 (UTC)


 * "together with some "famous necklace of pearls and rubbies"". If "some", then "necklace" should be plural; if singular, use 'a' instead of "some". (PS rubies, not rubbies.)
 * Dôné. LeGabrie (talk) 10:27, 20 May 2018 (UTC)

This is really good. I will do some more tomorrow.Gog the Mild (talk) 22:25, 19 May 2018 (UTC)


 * I have made some further copy edits. Could you please check them carefully and ping me if there are any you are not happy with. Once that is settled I think that we are done. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:26, 20 May 2018 (UTC)
 * I think "bishop" and "king" are not written with capital letters. Everything else is good. LeGabrie (talk) 16:57, 20 May 2018 (UTC)


 * You are right. I was wrong. Apologies. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:09, 20 May 2018 (UTC)

@Gog the Mild I think the nomination is still officially halted, since the bot hasn't added a GA icon to the article. Also didn't receive a notification on my Talk page that the nomination succeeded. LeGabrie (talk) 12:51, 21 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Strange. I overwrote the 'on hold'. It is gone from the nominations list. Perhaps the bot is working slowly. Give it another 24 hours and if it doesn't resolve itself I will leave a message with the powers that be. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:09, 21 May 2018 (UTC)